They’re big, bronzed and uncommonly buoyant. And they’ve been dominating the headlines recently. That’s right, they’re celebrity breasts! Beyoncé exposed hers onstage, Jenna Jameson had hers reduced, and Keira Knightley complained that hers weren't big enough. But, until this week, we'd never thought to compare a pair of love lumps to "the two Mitchell brothers hiding under a frock". Oh dear. We'll never look at Grant and Phil - or Victoria Beckham - in the same way again.

10. Bez
The Happy Mondays hedonist reckons he's emerged unscathed from 25 years of chemical excess. Um, is he seeing what we're seeing?

9. Shayne Ward
The X Factor hunk's new video is too kinky for TV. But not, it seems, for Gay Spy.

8. Lorraine Kelly
To be fair, the Mitchell brothers comment isn't entirely inaccurate, is it?

7. Zac Efron
The tween pin-up isn't sure whether to appear in High School Musical 3. Our advice? Just do it, Zac-mi-lad!

6. Fergie
The Black Eyed Peas star vomits after whizzing down a slide. Funnily enough, we suffered the same reaction the first time we heard 'London Bridge'.

5. James McAvoy
The Atonement actor is the best kisser ever, apparently.

4. Britney
Old baldie says she wants to make a "shocking" comeback at the MTV awards. If she turns up smiling, dressed normally and with hair, she'll succeed.

3. Enrique Iglesias
The Latin lothario signs up to advertise extra-small condoms. Well, as we've always said, it's not the size of the wand, but the magic that's in it.

2. Keith Richards
The aging rocker swallows a cigarette on stage. Was he protesting against the smoking ban, or did he just mistake it for a twiglet?

1. Rihanna
The 'Umbrella' star claims she was starstruck when she met Mel B. Hmm. We reckon she was just dazzled by the leopard-print.