It is truly the end of an era. After two decades of presenting live daytime TV, Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan have decided to hang up their earpieces. Richard is to concentrate on his solo broadcasting career – remember Eye of the Storm? - while Judy intends to focus her energies on writing. We're assured that the bickering duo will continue to host their astonishing popular Book Club, but nobody seems capable of answering the question that's really troubling us: what will become of, glug, Richard & Judy's Wine Club?

10. Joanna Lumley
The silver-tongued actress urges young girls to improve their manners. Hmm. In that case, she won't be wanting them to watch her Ab Fab antics.

9. Amy Winehouse
The beehive queen is barred from entering the States. Now, if only we could get the ban extended to The Hawley Arms in Camden, eh?

8. Morrissey
The indie icon is named England's "most northern" male. Humph. Peter Kay was robbed!

7. Lorraine Kelly
The smiley Scottish lady defends Kate Garraway's Strictly performance... Literally nobody else joins her.

6. Jessica Simpson
Is this dumb blonde really fit to squeeze into Olivia Newton-John's catsuit?

5. Sir Trevor McDonald
Apparently the venerable newsreader wants to appear on The X Factor. To be fair, he's as likely a popstar as at least three of this year's finalists, isn't he?

4. Oprah Winfrey
The billionaire businesswoman chops off Hilary Swank's hair on her chatshow. We hear she's currently honing her razor skills in pursuit of a Britney exclusive.

3. Richard & Judy
We're drying our eyes as you read.

2. Simon Cowell
Mr. Straight-Talkin' admits he's a fan of lap dancers. Those who saw Hope's last X Factor performance shouldn't be too surprised.

1. Hayden Panettiere
The Heroes star proves you don't need super powers to save the world.