We know celebrities are supposed to have unfailing self-confidence, but it's got a bit out of hand this week. Blabbing on about your ability to control people's minds, leaving £500 tips and comparing yourself to late, iconic princesses is just plain boastful. It's time for these self-important stars to learn a bit of humility, but how? Hmm… does anyone think Celebrity Sewer Trek Live! could get commissioned?

10. Kelly Osbourne
Could it be third time lucky for Miss O's pop career? Kate Moss certainly seems to think so.

9. Sarah Greene
The former Going Live! presenter is our tip for this year's Dancing On Ice crown. Yes, really!

8. Tom Hanks
He's an Aston Villa supporter, you know.

7. Irwin Sparkes
The Hoosiers frontman shares his bed with a "toy beaver that looks like a phallus". Each to his own, we suppose.

6. Jamie Oliver
Apparently the celebrity chef's had a falling out with Sainsbury's. Does that mean we've seen the back of those blasted adverts?

5. Fergie
The Black Eyed Peas singer likens herself to Princess Diana, but, funnily enough, we see her as more of a Princess Anne type.

4. Nicole Kidman
She's got a baby on the way! Congratulations, Nicole!

3. Matt Damon
OK, we know he's a rich movie star and everything, but isn't a £500 tip just a little excessive?

2. Dita Von Teese
The burlesque star insists we British are "really quite kinky". Oh Dita, it's just the effect you have on us!

1. Denise Van Outen
The Basildon blonde reckons she's got a talent for mind control. Hmm. Is that how she nabbed a spot on the Capital FM breakfast show?