Drinking Games: 'Midsomer Murders'

You've got a day off work, but have nothing to do with your spare time. Well DS has the answer - a Midsomer Murders drinking game. Check your Radio Times, pop down the Co-op for a booze run and settle down for a session of repeats across the afternoon on ITV. If you can still figure out the murder before Detective Barnaby, then you're not playing the game right!

Rule One: Down a shot, if the opening sequence is based at a village fete, country fair or local cricket event.

Rule Two: When the murderer turns out to be the vaguely recognisable guest star, who you've been struggling to put a name to all episode, down a pint.

Rule Three: Whenever the creepy theme music - or anything else performed on a theremin - is played in the background, swig some red wine from the bottle.

Rule Four: If everyone in the village fits incredibly old-fashioned stereotypes - helpful, chatty landlord, middle-class doctor, snooty posh landowners, drunkard farmers - crack into the vodka.

Rule Five: If a missing letter or will is involved in solving the case, tuck into some sherry.

Rule Six: Tuck into a second bottle of wine when the victim utters the immortal words: "Oh, it's you! What are you doing here?" shortly before being bludgeoned to death with large blunt instrument.

Rule Seven: If near enough the entire cast of the episode have been killed off by the time Barnaby and co. have got to the bottom of the case, glug some Baileys.

Rule Eight: If the episode involves a quaint community pastime - bell-ringing, brass-rubbing, amateur dramatics - help yourself to some doubles and chasers.

Rule Nine: Have a can of ale when someone utters any of the following phrases shortly before the murder: "I'm going to kill you!", "I wish you were dead!", "You're going to regret crossing me!" Have an extra can if a detective is in earshot at the time.

Rule Ten: If someone dies from cancer, a heart attack, a road accident, old age or any other everyday cause, and manages to not get murdered, polish off all your remaining drinks.

This feature is intended to entertain only. Digital Spy does not advocate binge drinking.