Drinking Games: 'Dragons' Den'

How would you fare if you were confronted with Dragons' Den grumpy millionaires Duncan Bannatyne, James Caan, Peter Jones, Deborah Meaden and Theo Paphitis. Would you dazzle them with your ideas and creativity? Or would you crumble and turn into bumbling wreck? If your answer's the latter then there's no need to worry because DS has got the perfect antidote - our very own Dragons' Den Drinking Game. There's no need to concern yourself about net profits or turnover, while all you need to decide now is - are you in, or are you out?

Rule One: When any of the Dragons fixes a stare at a hopeful and starts barking questions about net/gross profit, annual turnovers or three-year plans, down a shot.

Rule Two: If an entrepreneur starts twitching, sweating and suddenly can't recall their exact figures, polish off a can of beer.

Rule Three: Swig from the vodka bottle if there's a comedy item in the middle of the show. E.g. Hats for ducks? A watermelon peeler? A banana straightener? We're IN for all three!

Rule Four: Every time Theo Paphitis mentions Mrs P, cracks a dreadful pun or any other cringe-inducing joke, open a decent bottle of red wine.

Rule Five: If Peter Jones introduces himself to the entrepreneur ("Let me start. Hi, I'm Peter..."), drink a strong rum and coke. I think we all know your name by now, Peter!

Rule Six: If Evan's voice-over states the bleeding obvious ("Mr entrepreneur is off to a shaky start"), then dig out that bottle of gin you got for Christmas.

Rule Seven: When a Dragon manages to slip in some self-promotion and big-headed bragging about their multi-million fortune, help yourself to a whiskey.

Rule Eight: Every time you spot a close-up shot of the stairs, glug a glass of Baileys.

Rule Nine: When one of the entrepreneurs reveals that they've lost their house/savings/pet cat investing in their dreadful idea, start drinking from the wine bottle. Have a second swig if the camera cuts to the Dragons pulling grimaces and disgusted facial expressions.

Rule Ten: If Deborah Meaden actually invests in something, finish off all your remaining drinks. Do the same if James Caan manages to go a week without splashing the cash.

This feature is intended to entertain only. Digital Spy does not advocate binge drinking.