The Hung actress finalised her split from Laffoon earlier this year and the couple have a 7-year-old son together called Homer.
Speaking to the chatshow host, she said: "Can you say lazy ass on TV? No, no, no, that's terrible!
"I think he wants to coach soccer right about now. It's funny because you can't quite let go of the ex... He wants me to come and watch him run around in his little white shorts.
"Honestly, I don't want to come to rehearsal and watch you run around in your tight shorts like trying to pretend you know how to play soccer. I divorced you! I don't want to hang around with you Thursdays and Saturdays and maybe on Sunday."
When asked what Laffoon did for a living, she replied: "He goes out to the mailbox and he opens up the little mailbox door and goes, 'Oh! I got a check from Anne! Oh! I got a check from Anne! Yay!'"
Heche gave birth to her second son with boyfriend James Tupper in March.