Neeson: 'I ran away from Richardson death'

Liam Neeson has admitted that he struggled to accept the death of wife Natasha Richardson.

In an interview with Esquire, the actor explained that Richardson's sudden passing in March 2009 from a skiing accident left him unable to cope and in need of distraction.

"I think I survived by running away. Running away to work," he said.

"That's the weird thing about grief. You can't prepare for it. You think you're gonna cry and get it over with. You make those plans, but they never work."

He also recalled the harrowing experience of hearing the news that Richardson did not survive her injuries, telling the publication: "I walked into the emergency - it's like 70, 80 people, broken arms, black eyes, all that - and for the first time in years, nobody recognises me. Not the nurses. The patients. No-one. And I've come all this way, and they won't let me see her. And I'm looking past them, starting to push - I'm like, 'F**k, I know my wife's back there someplace.'

"I pull out a cell phone, and a security guard comes up, starts saying, 'Sorry, sir, you can't use that in here,' and I'm about to ask him if he knew me, when he disappears to answer a phone call or something. So I went outside. It's freezing cold, and I thought: 'What am I gonna do? How am I going to get past the security?'"

He continued: "And I see two nurses, ladies, having a cigarette. I walk up, and luckily one of them recognises me. And I'll tell you, I was so f**king grateful - for the first time in I don't know how long - to be recognised. And this one, she says, 'Go in that back door there.' She points me to it. 'Make a left. She's in a room there.' So I get there, just in time.

"And all these young doctors, who look all of 18 years of age, they tell me the worst. The worst."

Neeson added that while he has come to terms with the loss more in the two years since, he is still profoundly affected from time to time.

"It hits you in the middle of the night - well, it hits me in the middle of the night," he confessed.

"I'm out walking. I'm feeling quite content. And it's like suddenly, boom. It's like you've just [been hit] in your chest."