Second home to the telly fraternity and Frank Bruno (come often enough and you're likely to see him swanning around in his bath robe sipping on a free detox tea), a few days at the Tring Heath spa has been just the ticket to gear myself up for a week of extreme challenges, rough terrain and the infamous Nickelodeon slime.
See before Camp Orange returns, the challenges, key teamwork decisions and the elements will all be road-tested by your humble Digital Spy columnist. I get away with nothing my friends, so in order to prepare for what lies ahead I've spent the past few days weight training, exercising, eating healthily and having the odd massage. Well, it'd be rude not to.
I'll have all the exclusive Camp Orange gossip for Digital Spy over the coming weeks, and the series will hit your screens this summer.
In between classes, countryside and colonics (you do not want to know), I have of course been keeping an eye on all the latest showbiz news. Trashy telly seems to be my theme by default this week. What with Big Brother, TOWIE does Marbs, and Mark Wright's Hollywood Nights, it's been a reality TV wall-to-wall fake tan-fest.
Actually that's no longer the case for the host of Channel 5's Big Brother, ultimate housemate Brian 'why speak when you can shout' Dowling. Having allegedly been told by bosses to tone down the spray tan, he's duly complied and left the streaking and shrieking to the 16 over-excited housemates that sashayed and swore their way into the Elstree holiday home a few days ago. Yep, the 10-week Jeremy Kyle jamboree is back!
Dowling, sporting a Tom Selleck-esque sweepover hair style not dissimilar to my secondary school Geography teacher's, the frisky host flirted his way through the lineup, which included a model, a Bollywood hotty, an Irish chap whose party trick is wrapping 'his' chap around his wrist, a Playboy bunny, a sexy farm girl and 'Duracell bunny' Caroline, who professed that "surely it's not necessary to make a complete tw*t' of myself". Erm, welcome to Big Brother love.
And of course BB wouldn't be the same without the iconic voice of Marcus Bentley. We've all attempted to impersonate the Geordie drawl, but alas several series in his shouty, ridiculously OTT and drawn-out narration actually serves as a more of an irritation that an asset. A shame really, as I for one am a fan of his work. He just needs to stop overdoing it; you know what they say, less is more.
So a week in and all I seem to see when flicking over is Darren Lyons lookalike and self-professed 'buff bailiff' Chris. With his Joe Pasquale tones, temper, dietary requirements and constant moaning, Chris is certainly proving to be one of the more watchable housemates. But with umpteen weeks to go and game-playing foes such as bonkers Becky and Andy Scott Lee's missus all striving to be noticed, it's going to be one long summer.
And while we may be experiencing nothing like summer at the moment, Essex boy Mark Wright has 'kindly' spent a few months lapping up the LA sunshine for us in Mark Wright's Hollywood Nights. If the ITV2 commissioners wanted five blokes masquerading as a bad non-singing version of the Backstreet Boys while on a really long American Pie-esque stag do, then they've got it.
From the creators of TOWIE and Hollyoaks, this is a show I shouldn't like. But after one episode, I'm hooked. With sun, fake tan, glamorous girls, expensive multimillion pound mansions, this is certainly the best ofX those 'nosy parker' reality shows (Jordan, Peter Andre, Paris Hilton etc).
And finally, for fans of BAFTA-winning TOWIE, a treat was in store in the one-off The Only Way Is Marbs. With Mark happily out of the equation 'executive producing' his own aforementioned show, it was over to the likes of Chloe Simms and her Janet Street Porter pout, and the rest of the TOWIE fraternity to take us all to Marbella.
And it was everything we'd come to expect - reems of gratuitous flesh, gossip, partying, two proposals (congrats to Mario and Lucy's) and BBW Gemma Collins's public showdown with Arg. A speech and dressing-down so deserved, I was reaching for the cream cakes in girl power protest, smacking my booty, kissing my teeth and proclaiming 'take that and kiss that!' Anyone who breaks wind unashamedly in a public pool and doesn't bat an eyelid isn't worth losing sleep over love. Trust me.