Someone who has taken that mantra to a tee is mum-to-be Kim Kardashian. Pictures emerged this week of Kanye West's baby mama undergoing a bizarre 'beauty' treatment consisting of injecting blood from her arm into her face - you couldn't make this up, could you! Grimacing through the procedure (I'm not flipping surprised, they used NINE needles!), Ms K emerged looking like an extra from Face Off!
My most favourite story of the week (possibly even the year!), has to be Most Haunted and former Blue Peter host Yvette Fielding claiming 1D's Harry Styles 'sexted' her! Back in the day, pre-X Factor (if that's even possible, he's still practically pubescent), while hanging out with Yvette's son, it is claimed that everyone's favourite toy boy sent the 44-year-old a "disgusting text" during dinner. A brilliant story, I'm sure you'll all agree. Yvette has since claimed that Harry is 'not a text pest' and the story is inaccurate. Whether it is or isn't, to now be lumped in with the likes of Taylor Swift and Caroline Flack ain't no bad thing!
I've been sashaying around a few showbiz dos this week. Kimberley Wyatt launched her new cosmetics range at the Sanctum Hotel in London's Soho earlier on this week. Supported by her bezzy Ashley Roberts, and attended by a host of suitably glammed-up ladies including Lydia Bright, Laura Whitmore and Liz McLarnon, the Pussycat Doll ensured her Beautiful Movements Cosmetics showcase was a triumph.
Mayfair-based fashion designer Patrick Hellmann hosted a bash and a half at the opulent 50 St James. A evening of champagne and nibbles, live music and rubbing shoulders with models and celebs made for a rather nice night out indeed. Sporting a jaunty hat, Leigh Francis was on typically good form, and with conversation consisting generally of genitalia (natch), it certainly livened up the fash pack! Nice to have a chinwag with the girlies - Laura Whitmore, Zoe Hardman and Amanda Byron, all looking gorgeous as per, had the right idea, as I found them hovering by the kitchen door intercepting any tasty treats. Good work, girls; first rule of a 'do' - set up camp by the food!
And after months of watching ever-shrinking celebs in Lycra, Dancing on Ice crowned its winner in Olympic gymnast Beth Tweddle. In what was clearly a shock win - the piece de resistance being the judging panel unanimously forgetting to set their 'happy faces' when the camera panned for the 'reaction' shot - Beth and her skate partner Dan Whiston unbelievably picked up a whopping majority vote to be crowned the 2013 champs, nicking the title from a visibly disappointed Matt Lapinskas. Matters weren't helped when PR guru Max Clifford tweeted his congrats to Tweddle, an HOUR before the result was actually announced.
Still, it was a final worth watching. Alas, no arm dislocations, no fainting, no puking rugby stars, yet love declarations from Samia Ghadie, PDAs from newly single Matt and Brianne, and Jason Gardiner suddenly turning the charm on in the hope of bagging next year's contract. The three finalists, including Luke Campbell, managed to keep it together for the annual wheel-out of the bolero (yawn), but, to be fair, Matt and Beth both performed it brilliantly.
I love Dancing on Ice, always have since it first aired. When others have deserted, I've stuck by it like a loyal sheep dog. However, even for me this series has been a struggle. I'm pleased it IS coming back next year to celebrate Torvill and Dean's 30th anniversary, as it should, but please PLEASE can we do away with the bore-fest that is the annual bolero rehash?! The finals are such a 'cut and paste' now of the 'iconic' routine/1980's VT, blah blah, and even T&D seem to struggle to be enthusiastic about their most notable work. Come on DOI, if you're going to go out with a bang, give us hardy fans something to really get excited about... May I suggest a 'judges on ice' medley? I'd pay good money to see Jason Gardiner twirl about the ice like 'faecal matter'.