This week's celebrity birthdays

Published Monday, Jul 30 2007, 13:09 BST | By Nick Levine

Last night we got a phone call from Mr. Warner, our bank manager, to warn us that we’d dipped into our overdraft. Readers, he was absolutely furious! But then we explained that we’d only been so extravagant because, every week, without fail, we have to buy birthday present for five lovely celebrities. Mr. Warner calmed down then, and even asked us to send a bottle of bubbly to that “nice Kate Bush lady” on his behalf. What a guy!

Kate Bush

How many candles? The reclusive rocker celebrates her 49th birthday today.

DS' birthday present: Kate doesn’t get into the recording studio much these days – is it because she’s so busy? We’ve hired the secretive songstress a PA so she can devote some time to crafting another Hounds of Love.

J.K. Rowling

How many candles? The Harry Potter creator turns 42 tomorrow. Many happy returns, Jo!

DS' birthday present: Harry this! Potter that! Hogwarts blah blah blah! Jo’s poor head must be done in at the moment, so we've whisked her away to a deserted tropical island.

Evangeline Lilly

How many candles? The Lost beauty turns 28 on Friday.

DS' birthday present: We've an inkling that a certain Mr Monaghan might have a little question to ask Miss Lilly. Hmm. Might a candlelit dinner for two be in order?

Terry Wogan

How many candles? The broadcasting legend celebrates his 69th birthday on Friday.

DS' birthday present: Terry has to be at Radio 2 bright and early every morning, so we’ve bought him a nice pair of fluffy slippers. He might as well be comfortable when he's waking the nation, eh?

Pete Burns

How many candles? The lilo-lipped electro-popper turns 48 on Sunday.

DS' birthday present: Pete, we know you're a very private man, so we’re being very discreet about this one. Here are your instructions: meet ‘Mr. X’ at 2pm on Saturday to talk about you know what. The address? Ah yes - it's 68 Harley Street.