Our favourite stars are having a tough time this week. One celeb’s been sued for allegedly causing a road accident, while another’s been told off by his girlfriend for phoning a leggy LA model at 3am. And one poor fame-seeker’s had his home invaded by his lady’s identical twin sister. Eek! But, worry not struggling starlets, for every cloud has a silver lining: you’ve all made it onto this week’s Celebrity Chart!

10. Jake Shears
Apparently the Scissor Sisters star is planning to get hitched. We can't wait to see Sir Elt's wedding outfit!

9. Mel B
The former Spice Girl goes legal on Eddie Murphy. These days she's not so much scary as absolutely bloody terrifying.

8. Keith Richards
The Rolling Stones rocker wants to live until he’s 150. The way he’s going, you wouldn’t bet against him, would you?

7. Shayne Ward
A bit of advice Shayne, mate: next time you fancy chatting to a gorgeous model in the wee small hours, why not ask your girlfriend if that's ok with her?

6. Gwen Stefani
A group of students are boycotting the blonde bombshell's Malaysian gig because it contains “obscene” elements. They’ve obviously heard ‘Wind It Up’, then.

5. J.Lo
The Latina lovely takes method acting a bit too far while filming new movie El Cantante.

4. Sophie Ellis-Bextor
The posh popstel tells DS that she wants to join Kylie's gang. Well, who wouldn't?

3. Scarlett Johansson
The voluptuous actress turns down the chance to play porn star Jenna Jameson in a new movie. What a shame! We were looking forward to seeing Scarlett the harlot.

2. Lembit Opik
Apparently it’s buy one, get one free on Cheeky Girls these days.

1. Lindsay Lohan
Kimberley Stewart thinks her troubles are "very sad". The director of Mean Girls insists "she will get round to working again". Sharon Osbourne reckons she needs a "bloody good smacking". Who hasn't been talking about Li.Lo this week?