Digital Spy's Celebrity Chart: August 10

It’s all about sex in the world of celebrity this week. One star’s been getting frisky in a hotel swimming pool, while another’s been banging on about the size of her hubbie’s purple poker. Eew! And one funny lady’s had her sex tape stolen – we bet she isn't laughing now. Our advice to these frisky fame-seekers? Calm down. Think before you speak. And never, ever bring a camera into the boudoir.

10. Steve McFadden
Life imitates art for the ’Enders hard nut.

9. Patsy Kensit
The Holby City star ends her romance with the human beatbox. We’re guessing, once in a while, she just fancied a nap.

8. Chris Evans
The Radio 2 redhead gives up a beer festival for his fiancée. Now, that’s what we call true love.

7. Dolly Parton
Is too much Dolly worthy of an ASBO? Never.

6. Liz Dawn
After 34 years, Vera Duckworth bids adieu to the Corrie cobbles. But she’s not going quietly…

5. Dermot O'Leary
The new X Factor host accuses Vernon Kaye of telling porky pies. Now now, girls.

4. Peter Andre
Jordan reckons his love-wand is the same size as a Sky+ remote. Ah, but does it have as many options?

3. Sarah Jessica Parker
SJP blames her Sex And The City stilettos for her knee troubles. Eek! If it's any consolation, love, you looked tres chic while you were ruining your joints.

2. Roseanne Barr
Who on earth nicked the curvy comedienne's sex tape? Hmm. We reckon it was bloody Mika.

1. Britney
Things the 'Toxic' star can't do: drive, recognise iconic ball-kickers and their popstar wives, keep her bikini on while taking a dip.