Showbiz
These celebrities are so wasteful, aren't they? They spend money like Donald Trump, down champagne like Marie Antoinette and trash hotel rooms like the cast of Spinal Tap... the profligate fools! To conserve some of our planet's precious resources, we've suggested that this week's birthday boys and girls share one big party. It's sure to be one helluva bash - though we'd love to be a fly on the wall when Michael Jackson reaches for the same cheesy wotsit as Izzy from Neighbours.
Lenny Henry
How many candles? The effervescent comedian celebrates his 49th birthday on Wednesday.
DS' birthday present: Remember when Ricky Gervais took a swipe at Lenny on Extras? We bet Lenny does, so we've made him a dartboard with the face of a certain Golden Globe-winning comedian on it.
Michael Jackson
How many candles? The dethroned King of pop also turns 49 on Wednesday.
DS' birthday present: If Michael wants his career back, he'll need a stormer of a comeback single. We've bought him a recording session with Timbaland to maximise his chances!
Ryan Ross
How many candles? The Panic! At The Disco rocker celebrates his 21st birthday on Thursday.
DS' birthday present: It's a milestone birthday for Ryan so we've sent him to Amsterdam for a weekend of fun and frolics. We've arranged for him to try some very special cakes, watch some very European movies, and meet a very friendly lady called Heidi.
Cameron Diaz
How many candles? Hollywood's most athletic actress turns 35 on Thursday.
DS' birthday present: Cameron recently flashed her breast on US TV, so we've bought her an industrial-strength boulder-holder to protect her modesty. Aren't we kind?
Natalie Bassingthwaighte
How many candles? The Neighbours star-turned-electro popstrel celebrates her 32nd birthday on Saturday.
DS' birthday present: We've arranged for Natalie to spend every night with her old Neighbours chums. That's right, she's going on a tour of the UK's student unions!
How many candles? The effervescent comedian celebrates his 49th birthday on Wednesday.
DS' birthday present: Remember when Ricky Gervais took a swipe at Lenny on Extras? We bet Lenny does, so we've made him a dartboard with the face of a certain Golden Globe-winning comedian on it.
How many candles? The dethroned King of pop also turns 49 on Wednesday.
DS' birthday present: If Michael wants his career back, he'll need a stormer of a comeback single. We've bought him a recording session with Timbaland to maximise his chances!
How many candles? The Panic! At The Disco rocker celebrates his 21st birthday on Thursday.
DS' birthday present: It's a milestone birthday for Ryan so we've sent him to Amsterdam for a weekend of fun and frolics. We've arranged for him to try some very special cakes, watch some very European movies, and meet a very friendly lady called Heidi.
How many candles? Hollywood's most athletic actress turns 35 on Thursday.
DS' birthday present: Cameron recently flashed her breast on US TV, so we've bought her an industrial-strength boulder-holder to protect her modesty. Aren't we kind?
How many candles? The Neighbours star-turned-electro popstrel celebrates her 32nd birthday on Saturday.
DS' birthday present: We've arranged for Natalie to spend every night with her old Neighbours chums. That's right, she's going on a tour of the UK's student unions!
More: Showbiz, Celebrity Birthdays
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