Humph. Several readers have questioned the eco-friendliness of DS's campaign to buy birthday presents for celebrities. "Some of your gifts are ridiculously bulky. It's a real waste of gift wrap," writes Mrs. S. Addo from Bridgend. "I find the whole project quite wasteful. It's ruddy disgusting," adds Mr. L. Oser-Facé from Glasgow. To assuage the concerns of these environmentally-conscious souls, we're sending out a message to this week's birthday boys and girls: be sure to recycle your birthday cards and wrapping paper; take any unwanted gifts down to your local Oxfam; and, please, if you've got any spare slices of birthday cake knocking about, send them over to DS towers.

Guy Ritchie

How many candles? The Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels director is 39 today.

DS' birthday present: Poor Guy must get terribly bored waiting for Madge to come home from Timbaland/Justin/Pharrell’s house, so we’ve sent him a selection of classic board games. Let's hope Rocco and Lourdes don't have too much homework tonight!

James Bourne

How many candles? The former Busted guitarist celebrates his 24th birthday on Thursday.

DS' birthday present: James is probably missing his old Busted chums, so we’ve arranged an intimate, low-key reunion for the rawktastic trio. It’s taking place at Wembley Arena next month, and we’re expecting around 12,000 guests.

Stella McCartney

How many candles? Macca's dress-doodling daughter turns 36 on Thursday.

DS' birthday present: Stella must need to work off some tension after a hard day’s designing, so we’ve had a boxing ring delivered to her house. Inside she'll find a mouth-guard, a pair of boxing gloves and a cardboard cut-out of Heather Mills.

Amy Winehouse

How many candles? The troubled singer celebrates her 24th birthday on Friday.

DS' birthday present: What Amy really needs right now is a big hug - and, believe us, we're holding tight.

Jimmy Carr

How many candles? The list show staple turns 35 on Saturday.

DS' birthday present: Wherever does Jimmy keep the DVDs of all those telly appearances? In the new 6x10 storage unit we’ve bought him, of course!