Showbiz
Five of our Sagittarians are growing a year older this week, so we decided to check out what those twinkly things in the sky have in store for them in 2008. After hours of painstaking research (we're nothing if not thorough), we happened upon the fact that Sags typically have a high forehead, big ears and thin hair. Yikes! Luckily that doesn't sound too much like our delectable birthday boys and girls. Star-gazers reckon a long journey may be in the pipeline for our quintet, so along with the usual thoughtful gifts, we're enclosing an inflatable travel pillow and a compass each to help them on their way. Generosity truly is our middle name!
Jermaine Jackson
How many candles? The Celebrity Big Brother runner-up turns 53 on Tuesday.
DS' birthday present: Although the Jackson Five insist they are reuniting because they "owe it to the public", we suspect we're not the only ones calling in those IOUs. With Jermaine reportedly too broke to support little Jermajesty et al, we've bought a whole batch of scratch cards to help tide him over until the band hits the stage. Good luck, JJ!
Ben Shephard
How many candles? The GMTV heartthrob celebrates his 33rd birthday on Tuesday.
DS' birthday present: Ben may have made a slight boo-boo when he quit The Xtra Factor for DanceX, so we thought he could use some help making sensible decisions. Your new career adviser starts tomorrow, Ben - be sure to consult her before pointing your pen in the direction of any more of those dotted lines.
Vanessa Hudgens
How many candles? The High School Musical starlet warbles into her 19th year on Friday.
DS' birthday present: Vanessa thinks boyfriend Zac Efron's a bit of a wimp after he freaked out over a zit, so we've bundled him into the back of a truck, whisked him away and hired Daniel Craig to pop out of a cake to give her a taste of a real man. Just don't forget to keep your clothes on, Van!
Adam Brody
How many candles? The OC geek-turned-hunk is 28 on Saturday.
DS' birthday present: Adam will have to squeeze into those crimson tights to play the Flash in the Justice League movie, so we've treated him to a gift set of soothing lavender-scented talcum powder. Afterall, we don't want him to suffer any embarrassing chafing when he's blatting around at the speed of light.
Danielle Lloyd
How many candles? The Celebrity Big Brother glamourpuss turns 24 on Sunday.
DS' birthday present: Danielle's throwing a tarts and pimps bash for her big day, where she's promised to wear only underwear and high heels. We wouldn't want her to freeze while queuing for a post-party kebab, so we borrowed a donkey jacket from our mate Gav down the docks so she doesn't go catching her death. Wrap up warm now, Dani!
How many candles? The Celebrity Big Brother runner-up turns 53 on Tuesday.
DS' birthday present: Although the Jackson Five insist they are reuniting because they "owe it to the public", we suspect we're not the only ones calling in those IOUs. With Jermaine reportedly too broke to support little Jermajesty et al, we've bought a whole batch of scratch cards to help tide him over until the band hits the stage. Good luck, JJ!
How many candles? The GMTV heartthrob celebrates his 33rd birthday on Tuesday.
DS' birthday present: Ben may have made a slight boo-boo when he quit The Xtra Factor for DanceX, so we thought he could use some help making sensible decisions. Your new career adviser starts tomorrow, Ben - be sure to consult her before pointing your pen in the direction of any more of those dotted lines.
How many candles? The High School Musical starlet warbles into her 19th year on Friday.
DS' birthday present: Vanessa thinks boyfriend Zac Efron's a bit of a wimp after he freaked out over a zit, so we've bundled him into the back of a truck, whisked him away and hired Daniel Craig to pop out of a cake to give her a taste of a real man. Just don't forget to keep your clothes on, Van!
How many candles? The OC geek-turned-hunk is 28 on Saturday.
DS' birthday present: Adam will have to squeeze into those crimson tights to play the Flash in the Justice League movie, so we've treated him to a gift set of soothing lavender-scented talcum powder. Afterall, we don't want him to suffer any embarrassing chafing when he's blatting around at the speed of light.
How many candles? The Celebrity Big Brother glamourpuss turns 24 on Sunday.
DS' birthday present: Danielle's throwing a tarts and pimps bash for her big day, where she's promised to wear only underwear and high heels. We wouldn't want her to freeze while queuing for a post-party kebab, so we borrowed a donkey jacket from our mate Gav down the docks so she doesn't go catching her death. Wrap up warm now, Dani!
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