Digital Spy's Celebrity Chart: December 21

Rear of the Year's a nice diversion, Spectacle Wearer of the Year does nobody any harm, and we've got nothing against the umpteen Sexiest Laydee/Fittest Fella lists that get trotted out over the course of the year. But does the world really need a poll to find the world’s most influential infant? Shiloh Jolie-Pitt might have a very famous daddy and an even more famous mummy, but there's only so much influence you can wield when your vocabulary’s limited to "ma" and "da" and the journey to the bathroom saps every ounce of energy you've got. Besides, if you ask us, little Suri Cruise was robbed.

10. Avril Lavigne
The cheeky punkette cuts a gig short to see the Spice Girls play. Well, who can blame her?

9. Sir Paul McCartney
Macca treats Great Ormond Street hospital to an impromptu rendition of S Club 7's 'Don't Stop Movin'. Hmm. Do we spy next year's Christmas number one?

8. David Beckham
The handsome ball-kicking man is hung like a "tractor exhaust pipe", apparently. How very... agricultural.

7. Leon Jackson
Congratulations, matey!

6. Joss Stone
The west country warbler is the new Cadbury's Flake girl... "big love" to the bunny, eh Joss?

5. Lily Allen
Mini Allen is on its way!

4. Gary Barlow
Take That's short back 'n' sides man has the best haircut in music, according to a new poll. Winehouse was robbed!

3. Geri Halliwell
Ginger binges on garlic to keep fit for the Spice Girls tour… and keeps her dressing room empty in the process.

2. Shiloh Jolie-Pitt
We expect Pampers, Farley's Rusks and Fisher Price are on the phone as we type.

1. Michael Jackson
No kisses under the mistletoe for the dethroned King of pop this year.