Brand reveals sex with vacuum cleaner

Russell Brand has admitted that he tried to have sex with a vacuum cleaner when he was 14 years old.

The comedian said he placed his penis inside the nozzle of the "Henry Hoover", which has a smiling face painted on the front.

Speaking in support of a Polish builder caught pleasuring himself with a similar appliance in London, he told The Sun: "The lure of Henry is a force I once succumbed to as a lonely youth. It was a reckless and impetuous act.

"I was in my teens and my options were limited. Henry was by no means my first choice - Matey is too young and Mr Muscle had a headache.'

However, he revealed that the experience had been traumatic, saying: "The noise he made during it was terrifying and I felt terribly guilty afterwards when I looked at his little fizzog.

"Perhaps ultimately the manufacturers of these sexy little appliances ought be held responsible. Who in their right mind designs a machine with the capacity for suction and then puts a face on it? You might as well put eyelashes on a toaster."

Brand reportedly keeps a weather chart by his front door so that he can protect his hair from wind and rain.

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