In an interview with Digital Spy packed full of typically outrageous quotes, the reality TV gods discussed upcoming special Speidi: Scandal, Secrets & Surgery! ("It was us against the world"), their fear of being murdered in the CBB house ("If there was more alcohol, we'd be dead for sure"), rumours of their own reality show ("There definitely have been talks") and their love for the UK ("It was the first time [we] enjoyed being famous")...
First things first, Heidi, did you sort out your hair emergency?
Heidi: "Yeah, absolutely. I was euphoric. I couldn't believe it was happening, it was one of the best moments of my life."
Glad to hear it. So you're back in America at the moment, but will you come back to the UK at all?
Heidi: "Hopefully. We'll see what's up in the air and where we're going to go from here, but that would be amazing. We love England, we love the culture, we love the people. We're definitely missing that so hopefully sooner than later."
If you had to choose one of your Celebrity Big Brother housemates to live with when you come to England, who would it be?
Spencer: "Um... Frankie Dettori. I think Frankie hated being in the house even more than us. I think he's the most sane and I think he's got twenty acres in the countryside. With that much space we wouldn't get on each other's nerves, he could put us out in one of the horse barns."
Heidi: "I think he is one of the only people that remembered throughout the whole thing that it's only a game. He's definitely the most consistent with his attitude and positivity."
Have you kissed and made up with all your housemates now?
Heidi: "Well, we've definitely not kissed and made up. I'm not into that. But we got dinner at Frankie's restaurant and we had lunch with him and Razor and Sam [Robertson]. So, it's definitely good to catch up and kind of talk to them outside the house, but I don't think we're all BFFs at the end of the day."
Spencer: "[We'd speak to] Sam, Razor and Frankie and maybe Paula [Hamilton] if she ever has a phone with her. I don't even know if she uses technology. You need, like, birds to send Paula a message."
Heidi: "Like Harry Potter, the messenger owls."
But not Rylan? I thought you'd made amends with him?
Spencer: "Yeah, I don't think Rylan would... want to hang out with us. I don't think it's mutual. I think Rylan is happy to be back in his world. If he called us and wanted to hang out, I'd definitely go get a shot of tequila with him and hang out with him off-camera, that would be interesting."
So, you're getting your own one-off show, Speidi: Scandal, Secrets & Surgery! Was it difficult reliving all those not-so-great moments in your lives?
Heidi: "You know it really was. We haven't seen all the footage, but I can imagine what the footage is. It is hard to talk about, it is hard to relive - it was hard to go through it the first time. It's one of those things that you wanna compartmentalise and put away. It's definitely very difficult what we've been put through and to continue to think about it is challenging."
Spencer: "The special is the most we've gotten to be ourselves in nine years of being on TV."
Heidi: "You're going to see us in a normal environment, not being put in a game."
Do you have any regrets?
Heidi: "I don't have any regrets because I think we did the best we possibly could. Everyone else has agents, managers, this and that - most of the time it was just Spencer and I, us against the world.
"I think definitely we did the best that we could do, we tried everything we could try, and I think the worst thing in life you could regret is not trying and not putting yourself out there. I don't regret any of that and I really had fun most of the time. I enjoyed every moment of life and I'm just thankful for the opportunities we've had."
And what about a new reality series of your own, there have been a lot of rumours about that. Would you like one?
Heidi: "There definitely have been talks about [a reality show], so we'll see where everything goes from here. I think [the special] is definitely the middle step between an actual series."
Spencer: "I would love to have our own reality series, especially in England. I feel like the British audience understands my humour. They find my batty character entertaining. To be able to walk on the streets of England and have so many people supporting you, it was just such a great feeling. It was the first time I really enjoyed being famous.
"Being in England makes it worth doing for more than money, because people appreciate your entertainment. So many people told me how they were having such a hard time in their job or life, and when they tuned in and watched me messing with the other housemates they got to relax and have fun, they weren't thinking about the hard times they were going through.
"Getting to hear all the positive things that came from being on television in England is such a change for me. So, I would love to keep doing TV in England. I wouldn't care if we never did anything in America again."
You've actually been met with a lot of positivity outside the house then? We heard there were rumours about death threats and you needing security guards...
Heidi: "Well I think the fact we got second says a lot. I think the threats were actually more from the housemates, and maybe things got blown out of proportion, but it has been great with all the fans. We haven't had one negative experience, which is shocking."
So, did you really think your housemates were going to kill you?
Spencer: "I think if they could have gotten away with it, they would have loved to. I definitely felt the energy of them all wishing we were dead. I think if there was more alcohol and there were no cameras and there weren't, you know, the police, I think we'd be dead for sure."
Heidi: "Yeah, I think that they all just snapped. They were all past their limit and grumpy and hungry and angry. I think they were all at their weakest moment, so the fact that we were honest just made them madder."
Heidi, was you calling for security during your fight with Rylan and Razor out of genuine fear then?
Heidi: "I was really scared. I knew that they were right there and Big Brother wouldn't have let [anything] happen, but when a big guy like Razor charges my husband or I, you definitely see your life flash... In the house I was just trying to survive day by day."
I saw on Twitter that Rylan has downloaded your album Heidi - would you ever fancy a duet with him?
Heidi: "I would love to do that. I think that he's a very talented performer... I've heard him sing in the house a lot and for raw vocals it's pretty good. I'm sure in the studio he's fantastic."
Spencer, you stuck up for Rylan when Spencer Matthews from Made in Chelsea said that he "epitomises British demise". What made you get involved?
Spencer: "I actually went to dinner with Spencer Matthews, so I know that he's a great guy. I think the problem is everything looks more serious in a tweet, or in a quote on a blog. I think he said it more as, what I learned in England is the expression 'in jest'.
"I think Rylan took it too personally. Obviously Spencer and Rylan are two very different types of people. It's like two separate football clubs, but even more different, having opinions about each other. I was just trying to let them know that Charlie Sheen already took all the win. So, no, they're very different people, I don't think one should expect the other to like each other."
Do you think you could go back to not being famous? Do you think you'd cope?
Heidi: "I would just like to have money, that's the main reason I wanted to be famous. I come from a really humble, small town and my family didn't hardly have rent money every month.
"To have an avenue to be financially independent and successful is the only reason I ever sought after fame... actually I didn't even seek it, it kind of fell in my lap. It's not the fame part that I'm addicted to."
So if you one day had enough money to support yourselves, you'd step out of the spotlight entirely?
Heidi: "Easily. I think that's what we kind of did... but unfortunately we spent a lot of our money, so we're not quite there yet."
Speidi: Scandal, Secrets & Surgery! airs Monday, February 18 at 10pm on Channel 5