S05E04: Tanya returns

Bruno and Lucy are horrified to discover Amber knows Bruno shot Conrad and that she has evidence to prove it in her meditation chamber – what if she goes to the police? Meanwhile, Amber is convinced that she had Bruno so confused that he may end his own life and she’s delighted she may have finally won. To help matters along, she buys Bruno an antique straight razor to ‘shave’ with, hoping that he’ll use it to slit his wrists. But just when it seems that she has him on the ropes, Lucy phones and begs for him to come over because Angelica is unwell. However, the illness is a ruse. Lucy is clued up to Amber’s game and doesn’t waste any time in informing him of the true extent of the danger they are both in. Predictably, Bruno hits the roof, but Lucy manages to reason with him – he’ll have to play along until they find a way to destroy the evidence in the meditation chamber. But Bruno has a simple solution, as Amber discovers when she wakes in the middle of the night to find the place ablaze.

Roger speaks to Garry about what happened between him and Jackie at the party. He’s trying to be as tactful as possible about the trouser-dropping incident, but it’s clear that he thinks that Garry’s actions were totally out of order. Garry however refuses to take the incident seriously, but still, there’s no way he’s going to sit there and allow one of his employees to tell him off. Although he apologises, it is obvious that in his mind, he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong.

Love is blossoming for Shannon and Callum whose relationship is going from strength to strength. But over a meal in a posh hotel, Callum can’t stop talking about his mother’s clingy behaviour – he’s decided to move out of the house as soon as he can find someone else. Shannon has the perfect answer to Callum’s dilemma – why doesn’t he move in with her? Liberty and Urszula are also eating at the hotel, but Liberty throws another strop about the quality of the food. Realising that this is a brilliant chance to get Urszula on her own, she books a room for the afternoon. As he watches Liberty and her PA disappear upstairs, the maitre-de realises something is up and calls in the paparazzi – he’s sure that she’s snorting coke. But when the photographer trains his zoom lens on the hotel window, he snaps a shot of something else entirely.

Trisha makes it clear that she holds Shannon solely responsible for Callum’s decision to move out. But Callum is disgusted by her language and her threats and tells her that he wants nothing more to do with her. Realising that she may have overplayed her hand, Trisha writes to Shannon and asks for a meeting. Over a pot of tea, Trisha apologises to Shannon for her behaviour and then drops a bombshell – she’s got an untreatable form of cancer and only has a year to live! Shannon is all concern and quickly agrees when Trisha begs her not to tell Callum the truth.

Liberty is still resisting Tremaine’s attempts to persuade her into matrimony. However, when she sees that her lesbian frolics with Urszula are front page news, she realises that she will have to act quickly in order to save her relationship with him. After hiding the newspapers, she seeks Tre out and delights him by accepting his marriage proposal. But then Tre is distracted by the fax machine, he can’t believe it when he sees a picture of his beloved fiancé cavorting with her PA. Although Liberty manages to convince him that the photograph has been faked with a lot of fast talking, their public image is now lying in tatters. What better way to restore it than for them to make a joint appearance on “Richard and Judy”?

Amber can’t believe it – she’s lost her meditation chamber and everything in it and, even worse, Bruno seems to be back to his old self. How is she going to get vengeance for Conrad’s death now? The answer comes to her in the kitchen – Bruno loves her curries, so why not whip up a pot of chicken jalfrezi for him? He’ll never figure out until it’s too late that she’s laced it heavily with slug pellets. But Bruno is on his guard and quickly twigs what is going on. Amber is unrepentant – she knows that Bruno shot Conrad and there’s no way she’s going to let him get away with it.

Shannon and Callum have decided to throw a pink-themed housewarming party and order in the caterers and huge amounts of champagne. Callum can’t believe it when Trisha turns up on the doorstep complete with a plate of sausage rolls, but with Shannon prepared to let bygones be bygones, there’s nothing much he can do about it. Soon, the champagne is pouring and as the team and their wives relax in the garden; life has never seemed better. Meanwhile, mad Amber has reached boiling point. She knows that Bruno will be at the housewarming so off she sets, emerging as the goddess Kali – hell bent on revenge!

When Amber stalks into the party armed with a shotgun, the atmosphere instantly shatters – it looks like Bruno could be about to meet his maker. But there’s no way that Lucy is going to allow a lunatic to kill her daughter’s father and she jumps in to save the day just as Amber is about to pull the trigger. But in the struggle that follows, the gun goes off and it isn’t until Amber is safely out cold that Jackie notices that Roger has taken a shot in the face! As Amber is carted off to the nearest mental hospital and sectioned, Roger is coming to terms with the fact that he may have lost his sight for good.

Tanya Turner has just lost yet another husband – God bless him – but now that Amber is safely out of the way, she has no qualms about packing her luggage and returning to England to pick up where she left off.