Week 39

I really thought I might have made a rod for my own back with my picture for Week 38. It was a toughie and I imagined it would not only curtail the number of entries, but might also produce sub-standard offerings.

How wrong can someone be? I certainly didn’t reckon with the skills of my captioneers!

The Emmerdale shot, you will recall, showed Scott “urging??? Paddy – with a knee where it hurts - to tell his side and support him in the trial against Zoe.

Well, it seems I also came in for a little mauling again

Alex Duffy, in Liverpool, was first up with the pot-shots. He had Scott saying: “I'll kick you again if Kris doesn't do a new caption picture in the next two weeks.???

Hey, that hurt, Alex.

Robert Tipping, down in Middlesex, meanwhile, thought Paddy could be whining with: “I really need to go to the toilet, Scott, as I have been holding this position for too long now while they take a picture for this week’s Caption Corner!???

Gosh, am I getting the message!

Meanwhile, Jon Dracup, of Birmingham, in the West Midlands, had Scott sounding off with: “This is from Kris! If you ever leave the Caption competition winners hanging on for another caption that long again, you'll never work for him again. Got it?!???

Phew, this is getting serious, folks.

Week 38's picture

Finally, James Watts, in Surrey, had another message emanating from the same character on the lines of “Maybe finally Kris will choose this scene for Caption Corner; it's annoying when we see EastEnders and Corrie taking all the fame.???

Ouch, another one to the solar plexus.

However, in my defence, James, I should explain that finding suitable pictures for use in Caption Corner from the soaps other than Corro and ‘Enders is sometimes as difficult as locating weapons of mass destruction in certain corners of the Middle East. It really is the Devil’s own job, believe me, but I do try to give an airing to them all and will continue to do so.

Right, back to the plot.

With obvious apologies to Nancy Sinatra, Clare, in Ireland, thought the line beneath the picture should have been: One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you... while Judith, of Johnstone, in Scotland, had Paddy screaming: “That’s the last time I practise the tango with you, mate.???

Jo Kilcourse, in Spain, reckoned on Scott snarling: “Listen Paddy – just ’cause Emily said you LOOK like that bloke out of G4, doesn’t mean you can SING like ’im!??? and Russell Truran thought his line might be: “Just tell me who Emma Dale is now!???

This is where it got difficult. I thought the last four on my short-list were all quality.

Rob from Ipswich settled for “So you wanted to be a farmer? Here are a couple of acres to help you on your way.???

I think Adam Cooper, of Northamptonshire, has to take third place with a very clever Knick, Knack - Paddy Whack! and our old friend Gerry D, up there in Glasgow, collects the runner-up prize with Scott assuring: “Trust me, Paddy, this will cure your hiccups."

Which leaves the top spot to be filled by another Liverpool contributor, Vicki, with “... and now cough!???

Ooh… well, I don’t know about you, but I found all that lot rather excrutiating!

So, while the pain fades, we’ll stagger over to Week 39, with a scene from Coronation Street. It shows Shelley handing over her wedding dress to Cilla while Les and Bev look on.

Over to you...