Week 42

You were not obliged to say anything unless you wished to do so – but plenty of you did in respect of my Bill picture for Week 41 of Caption Corner when I offered Bill DVD prizes for the best entries.

You may recall that in the pihotograph, a deeply suspicious Pc Sheelagh Murphy (Bernie Nolan) was confronting fiance Pc Gabriel Kent (Todd Carty) after frantically searching through his pockets trying to discover his true identity..

References to Todd’s previous lives in Grange Hill and EastEnders and Bernie’s as a member of the singing Nolan Sisters gave rise to one or two arresting entries.

Witness Richard Tipping, of Hendon, London, who had Gabriel saying: “How many times do I have to tell you, I’m not with the Nolans any more, I’m a full-time policewoman - have a look at my ID card.???

In similar vein, Jo Kilcourse, in Spain, thought it more likely Sheelagh was telling him: “Look, how many times do I have to tell yer, I´m a real police officer, you’re not. Now get back to the fruit and veg stall, Mark, before I do ya for impersonating a copper.???

Meanwhile, Kate from Abertillery, reckoned the policewoman might have been saying: “Do you think my licence picture would have looked better if I had gone like this????

Week 41's picture

Robert Tipping, of Middlesex, on the other hand, had us all groaning with Sheelagh: “Do you fit the Bill, Gabriel, then???? and also “Gabriel - you're no angel.???

We all hope you get better soon, Robert.

Also in groan mode and with obvious reference to one of the Nolans’ biggest hits, was Andy Serevitch, of Manchester, who thought Sheelagh could be demanding: "Pay attention to me, Carty - I'm in the mood for glancing.???

Running close to the winners’ enclosure were Joanne Whitwell, of Reading, and Gemma, of West Midlands. Joanne had Sheelagh saying: “Look, Gabriel, I have told you many times that your library card has expired.???

Gemma, meanwhile, had her whispering: “Look into my eyes, look into my eyes. The eyes. The eyes. Not around the eyes. Don't look around my eyes. Look into my eyes... you're under arrest.???

That leaves just three from my short-list this week, from which I have chosen Darren Kane, of Perth, Scotland, and Brian Lindau, of Stoke-on-Trent, as joint runners-up with similar-style entries.

Darren’s offering from Sheelagh was: "I knew your name wasn't really Gabriel. Does Pauline know you’re still alive ... Mark Fowler?" while Brian’s was: “So it’s true! Your real name IS Mark Fowler!???

That brings us to the winner – our old hand Stephen Beales, from Hornchurch, Essex, who had Sheelagh asking: "Who the bloody hell is Tucker Jenkins????

Well done to all three of you. You will, of course, each be receiving a copy of The Bill Complete Series 2, kindly donated by our very good friends, Network DVD, to whom we express our sincere thanks.

This newly-released three-disc compilation features some of the best-loved characters from the show, including DI Galloway, Sgt Cryer, Pc Carver, Pc Hollis, WPc Ackland and Det Sgt Roach, appearing in episodes originally broadcast between November, 1985, and February, 1986.

Each is worth £29.99 and runs for around 600 minutes – which sounds to me like extremely good value if you didn’t manage to win one!

So now we move on to our new picture in need of your alternative captions. This week it comes from Coronation Street where Cilla hurls a tricycle through the Barlows' window after Tracy puts the bolshi-bride's wedding flowers for sale when she is not forthcoming with the money.

Enjoy...