Oh, Danny Boy...

In view of the Monopoly picture I gave you for Week 55, I was hoping that you wouldn’t turn the Water Works on and that the Electric Company might provide you with a few bright ideas.

Our photograph, you will recall, showed Debbie and Scott from Emmerdale convincing a drunken Jasmine to play Monopoly with the money they took from Rodney.

Well, I have to say, there were several Mayfair offerings – but perhaps we should forget about those of you who went strolling down the Old Kent Road.

One submission, though, gave me something of a fright; I thought it might have been from my editor! But apparently, it’s from Tom, in Maryland (Wales, one assumes, not USA) who had Scott mumbling: “So, Kris - get under three and the column’s axed.”

Phew… that had me sweating for a moment!

Now, I had decided quite firmly this week that I was not going to allow any more of this “Kris late with the picture” nonsense, but I simply couldn’t ignore Public Enemy No 1, could I?

As usual, Stephen Beales, of Hornchurch, had a dig, with - Scott: “That’s strange, this Community Chest card says ‘Kris...if you pass "go", do not collect £200, just go straight to the Caption Corner and change the bloody picture’!”

Such disgraceful language … I shall refrain from further comment.

Meanwhile, the maestro from Motherwell, Peter Benassi, was in determined mood with - Jasmine: “I think I'm gonna have to stop playing now. I don't feel well and I'm starting to see spots before my eyes.” Scott: “It's called a dice, Jasmine.”

Then, for some unknown reason, I had to laugh at Sam, of Wales, who offered us - Scott: “Can we play bingo after this?”

Oh, and by the way, Sam, with reference to one of your other “entries”, I think I should point out that I’m a MALE Kris (Kristopher, actually) not female. I just wonder whether you’re a male or female Sam…

Any way, back to business, with Wigan’s Paul Nolan, who was understandably convinced that Debbie was saying: “I'm not going to jail like the rest of my family - I'll just collect the £200.”

Just outside the now familiar winners’ enclosure this week was another of our readers from up there in Bonnie Scotland - Craig, of Edinburgh, with a taster that went along these lines …The action hots up in Emmerdale this week; Will Scott be the dog or the hat? Will Jasmine buy a house or a hotel? and finally.... Will Debbie realise that everyone can see her cards? Tune in this week to find out!

I liked that, Craig, and wondered whether you really should have been in the frame. As it happens, I finally decided that the top three would be as follows.

In third spot is Dave Clark, of High Peak, whose line was – “So we're agreed, the winner gets a part in Holby City?”

Taking the runner-up accolade is Isabel, of Yorkshire, with - Scott: “Don't you think you've had enough to drink, Debbie?” Debbie: “Nah... CHECKMATE!”

Wonderful, Isabel, but you were pipped at the post by another offering from the maestro himself, Peter Benassi, which went something like this - Scott: “For the last time, Jasmine you CANNOT build hotels on King's Cross Station!”

Nice one again, Peter. I think all our captioneers will agree, you’re a formidable force.

Well, that’s the game over for this week then, so we move on to Week 56 and I think I ought to point out that it was somewhat difficult to find a real corker of a picture from any of the soaps on this occasion.

I finally chose one, however, from Coronation Street, which shows a fight ensuing after Jamie returns from holiday only to find Danny has stayed the night with Frankie. Violet and Sean look on.

Away you go - and I’ll see you at the other end of the cobbles.