Reality TV
Before The Anti-heroes Jon and Fed disappear off the radar and the new evictee does the Ri:se/Heat/BBLB rounds, and given that I’ve already worshipped at the alter of the church of Jon Tickle often in the column, I thought I’d concentrate on Anti-hero#2 - the Big Brother enigma that is Federico Martone.
You Gotta Go There To Come Back
What a journey Big Brother has been for Don’t Call Me Fed. In Week 1, he was the smiley, bolshy, hyperactive singer and Italian romeo. By Week 2 he was a serial task-failing, bored, argumentative gimp who had been disciplined by Big Brother when his Avid Merrion impression backfired. By Week 3 he was a shadow of his former self, depressed and self-critical, unwilling to get out of bed. In just a few short days, the Glasgow God had become a reclusive village idiot. You didn’t know whether you wanted to slap him or snog him.
Big Mouth Strikes Again
Initially was easy to hate Federico, his cockiness, arrogance and outrageous comments made him an easy target, especially for the tabloids. Every Big Brother needs a villan, whether it be Jade, Nasty Nick or even Tim. And the "shocking" outbursts of a certain lanky Glaswegian waiter made him enemy numero uno in the eyes of the tabloid editors.
Nothing that came out of Federio’s gob shocked me simply because his stirring was so obvious. In fact, the only thing about Federico that shocked me was the sense of humour failure his housemates, and even Big Brother, when Federico tried to stir dull conversations up with "controversial" comments.
Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with?
The moment I realised I was in love with Federico was when, sat alone in his skin-tight pink Camp Man outfit, nibbling cold pizza, he gazed at his adult housemates who were jumping around like kids that have eaten too many E-numbers on hearing that the task was passed and whispered to himself in tones of sarcasm "oh, the hilarity".
This moment seemed to encapsulate his frustration at being in the house with, bar Jon, Steph and maybe Scott, a bunch of sickly saccharine, deeply unlikable, falsely excitable fame junkies. It encapsulated the viewers frustration too as the impending, seeming inevitable departure of both Fed and Jon loomed over the country, leaving us without the only watchable characters in the house. Hilarity? BB4 is just about as far from hilarity as you can get. Fed was spot on.
The Real Gone Kid?
As BB psychologists pointed out, Fed seemed to sink into depression when the reality of artificial, competitive environment set in. When he appeared to sit upright and pull scary faces at his housemates in his sleep, I think I can honestly say it was one of the most disturbing things I’d ever witnessed on Big Brother. It gave us a good indication of his state of mind, and it was clear that the Big Brother experience was not making Federico a happy bunny. Unlike fellow antagonistic housemate Jade, we won’t be given a chance to see Federico’s character develop or watch him redeem himself or win over the public over the course of the full nine weeks.
As Jon would say…Controversial
Every good Big Brother contestant leaves behind a legacy of media controversy. With Jade it was her treatment by the tabloids, with Jon it was the bias editing in his final days in the house. With Federico, it’s the announcement that the ITC are to investigate Davina’s treatment of Federico and the questioning regarding the size of his genitals during his post eviction interview. Watching Federico squirm and try and humour his way out of the situation wasn’t funny, it was just plain humiliating and very, very uncomfortable to watch. The complaints are justified and I hope they are upheld. I also hope that, for a variety of reasons, this series is the last hosted by Davina.
Controversial #2
So Federico adopted Avid Merrion’s persona and joked that he’d like to see a member of the Big Brother crew sh*t. He got reprimanded for it. But the irony is that, as there is a camera in the toilet, Big Brother watched Federico sh*t every day of the week.
Not only that but Endemol make money from the most intimate moments of the lives of the housemates so to repremand Federico for joking about the body functions of the Big Brother staff is laughingly hypocritical.
The Jon and Federico Show?
As our anti-hero duo end their obligatory post-BB tour of Channel 4 shows, internet forums have become awash with suggestions for A Jon and Federico TV show. Though ventures into TV by ex-Big Brother contestants are by and large cringeworthy disasters, I imagine a short, off-the-wall current affairs show hosted by Jon and Fed, given a late-night slot, could make for cult viewing. Think Newsnight meets Get Stuffed meets Soccer AM.
The man himself has also suggested that he may make a good "Shock Jock". I agree, simply because I feel that some of his views are, while unpopular, have an uncomfortable element of truth in them. Federico also has the ability to stir up conversational trouble while not entirely embracing what he says himself - a good skill for a Shock Jock. I wouldn’t rule out a late-night radio talk show for Mr Martone.
Italians Do It Better
For me, Federico was the ideal Big Brother contestant. A cajoling mixture of arrogance and fragility, bravado and introspection. A slight disdain for everyone coupled with a strong desire to be liked and accepted. He continues to keep us guessing when it comes to his sexual preferences. He provoked arguments for arguments sake. He lost the plot slightly. He’s highly shaggable. He handed out slices of cold bread and butter pudding to the crowd at his eviction. Like him or hate him, he’s what Big Brother contestant should be all about.
Did we see the real Federico on our screens? Only his nearest can answer that question. He rejects modern club culture (another reason to worship him) and sings Paul Weller songs. He misses his grandma’s cooking. He loves Celtic and Juventus. He as an affinity with donkeys, he loves Darius Denesh. I can’t help but think there was a amiable, witty side to Fed that vanished once the reality of the reality TV show set in.
Wherever he goes from here - good luck Federico, cute, cult controversial king of apathy arrogance and general Big Brother legend. We miss you already.
emzi
You Gotta Go There To Come Back
What a journey Big Brother has been for Don’t Call Me Fed. In Week 1, he was the smiley, bolshy, hyperactive singer and Italian romeo. By Week 2 he was a serial task-failing, bored, argumentative gimp who had been disciplined by Big Brother when his Avid Merrion impression backfired. By Week 3 he was a shadow of his former self, depressed and self-critical, unwilling to get out of bed. In just a few short days, the Glasgow God had become a reclusive village idiot. You didn’t know whether you wanted to slap him or snog him.
Big Mouth Strikes Again
Initially was easy to hate Federico, his cockiness, arrogance and outrageous comments made him an easy target, especially for the tabloids. Every Big Brother needs a villan, whether it be Jade, Nasty Nick or even Tim. And the "shocking" outbursts of a certain lanky Glaswegian waiter made him enemy numero uno in the eyes of the tabloid editors.
Nothing that came out of Federio’s gob shocked me simply because his stirring was so obvious. In fact, the only thing about Federico that shocked me was the sense of humour failure his housemates, and even Big Brother, when Federico tried to stir dull conversations up with "controversial" comments.
Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn’t have fallen in love with?
The moment I realised I was in love with Federico was when, sat alone in his skin-tight pink Camp Man outfit, nibbling cold pizza, he gazed at his adult housemates who were jumping around like kids that have eaten too many E-numbers on hearing that the task was passed and whispered to himself in tones of sarcasm "oh, the hilarity".
This moment seemed to encapsulate his frustration at being in the house with, bar Jon, Steph and maybe Scott, a bunch of sickly saccharine, deeply unlikable, falsely excitable fame junkies. It encapsulated the viewers frustration too as the impending, seeming inevitable departure of both Fed and Jon loomed over the country, leaving us without the only watchable characters in the house. Hilarity? BB4 is just about as far from hilarity as you can get. Fed was spot on.
The Real Gone Kid?
As BB psychologists pointed out, Fed seemed to sink into depression when the reality of artificial, competitive environment set in. When he appeared to sit upright and pull scary faces at his housemates in his sleep, I think I can honestly say it was one of the most disturbing things I’d ever witnessed on Big Brother. It gave us a good indication of his state of mind, and it was clear that the Big Brother experience was not making Federico a happy bunny. Unlike fellow antagonistic housemate Jade, we won’t be given a chance to see Federico’s character develop or watch him redeem himself or win over the public over the course of the full nine weeks.
As Jon would say…Controversial
Every good Big Brother contestant leaves behind a legacy of media controversy. With Jade it was her treatment by the tabloids, with Jon it was the bias editing in his final days in the house. With Federico, it’s the announcement that the ITC are to investigate Davina’s treatment of Federico and the questioning regarding the size of his genitals during his post eviction interview. Watching Federico squirm and try and humour his way out of the situation wasn’t funny, it was just plain humiliating and very, very uncomfortable to watch. The complaints are justified and I hope they are upheld. I also hope that, for a variety of reasons, this series is the last hosted by Davina.
Controversial #2
So Federico adopted Avid Merrion’s persona and joked that he’d like to see a member of the Big Brother crew sh*t. He got reprimanded for it. But the irony is that, as there is a camera in the toilet, Big Brother watched Federico sh*t every day of the week.
Not only that but Endemol make money from the most intimate moments of the lives of the housemates so to repremand Federico for joking about the body functions of the Big Brother staff is laughingly hypocritical.
The Jon and Federico Show?
As our anti-hero duo end their obligatory post-BB tour of Channel 4 shows, internet forums have become awash with suggestions for A Jon and Federico TV show. Though ventures into TV by ex-Big Brother contestants are by and large cringeworthy disasters, I imagine a short, off-the-wall current affairs show hosted by Jon and Fed, given a late-night slot, could make for cult viewing. Think Newsnight meets Get Stuffed meets Soccer AM.
The man himself has also suggested that he may make a good "Shock Jock". I agree, simply because I feel that some of his views are, while unpopular, have an uncomfortable element of truth in them. Federico also has the ability to stir up conversational trouble while not entirely embracing what he says himself - a good skill for a Shock Jock. I wouldn’t rule out a late-night radio talk show for Mr Martone.
Italians Do It Better
For me, Federico was the ideal Big Brother contestant. A cajoling mixture of arrogance and fragility, bravado and introspection. A slight disdain for everyone coupled with a strong desire to be liked and accepted. He continues to keep us guessing when it comes to his sexual preferences. He provoked arguments for arguments sake. He lost the plot slightly. He’s highly shaggable. He handed out slices of cold bread and butter pudding to the crowd at his eviction. Like him or hate him, he’s what Big Brother contestant should be all about.
Did we see the real Federico on our screens? Only his nearest can answer that question. He rejects modern club culture (another reason to worship him) and sings Paul Weller songs. He misses his grandma’s cooking. He loves Celtic and Juventus. He as an affinity with donkeys, he loves Darius Denesh. I can’t help but think there was a amiable, witty side to Fed that vanished once the reality of the reality TV show set in.
Wherever he goes from here - good luck Federico, cute, cult controversial king of apathy arrogance and general Big Brother legend. We miss you already.
emzi
More: Reality TV, Big Brother
