
Yesterday I was among the lucky few to tour the new Big Brother house, and boy did I make myself at home. I sat on their chairs, I lay on their beds, I... actually, I'll spare you details of what I did in the toilet. (It's not too late to install extractor fans, is all I'm saying).
Anyway, here's what I managed to glean about BB9. Scoop fans, you're in for a treat.
The Show
There will be sixteen housemates on launch night - the most ever to enter the house in one go. Predictably, producers are keeping quiet over the identities of the contestants, but did tease that there would be a "good balance among the sexes... and the sexualities". There is an over-50 in the lineup, and possibly someone who is 18, but no two housemates will be related to each other.
After Big Brother 9, Channel 4 has agreed to a further TWO series of the show. There is no official word on the return of Celebrity Big Brother in January 2009, but E4 replacement Celebrity Hijack was described as a "one-off experiment" that probably won't be repeated.
The Diary Room
Housemates will have to leave through the main entrance door, then wait in a small corridor before being allowed into the diary room. This extra space between the main house and the diary room has been created to ensure greater privacy when the housemates are speaking to Big Brother.
The entrance/exit stairs, which split into two and flank the diary room, will ordinarily be barricaded off by "child gates".
The diary room is slightly bigger than usual, with a plush red interior and a huge custom-built blue chair (modelled above right by yours truly).
The Living Room
Huge multi-seat sofas have been ditched in favour of numerous single and double-occupancy seats. A mystery blue hatch can be found in the living room, as well as the house's only plasma screen. The green and red mood lighting of Big Brother 8 will not be back.
For the first time ever the housemates will be able to accurately tell the time from a "discreetly-located" wallclock.

This year there are two bedrooms - and they couldn't be more different from each other. One, with a locker theme, is very small, has eight harsh single beds and is veeeeery cold. The other is decorated with a "regal" theme (lots of reds and golds) and features eight double beds - each adorned with many pillows and soft sheets - as well as an expansive enclave to store clothes and shoes. Housemates will get to choose which bedroom they sleep in after they enter on launch night.
The Bathroom
The bathroom is distinctly Roman in feel, with gold figurine statues, gold chrome taps and a bath capable of housing more than one guest. The bathroom is completely visible from the main living area - with only a tiny area of the shower screen protected by a tint. Thankfully the toilets remain a completely private affair.
The Jail
Producers promise that all rule breaks will be dealt with "consistently and harshly" this year. To that end, a tiny jail has been installed in the garden - and any misbehaving housemates will be duly quarantined there as a punishment.
The Hidden Extras
Secret rooms will NOT be a theme this year, although a mystery task room - accessed via an orange door in the garden - is expected to be redecorated to fulfil a number of functions.
Prepare to surrender your summer. Big Brother begins Thursday at 9pm on Channel 4 with a bum-numbing 100-minute launch show!
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