Bigger. Fatter. Gypsier. Channel 4's Big Fat Gypsy Weddings returned with added palm trees and glow-in-the-dark cake.

The serving of bling, beauty pageants and girls dressed as palm trees squeezing into limousines was very much business as usual for the gawp-fest documentary series.



Plenty of questions remain unanswered and the documentary's probing of its subjects remains more frothy than a Starbucks frappé, but if you enjoyed watching teenage girls squeezing into corsets and luminous barely-there dresses while body-popping to Peter Andre's 'Mysterious Girl' last time, you'll have been a satisfied customer once again.

Questions about ethics, morals and finance are kept to knowing nudges and winks from the voiceover, but we're still none the clearer as to what motivates, funds and really goes on within the gypsy community. The show's opening salvo that it gets "to the very heart of gypsy life" remains questionable.

Not that it makes for bad TV, of course. The series three premiere highlights included young gypsy Nangirl, who was one of the girls preparing for her Holy Communion. Or as the voiceover lady put it: "Sacrificing themselves at the altar of beauty."

"It's important to look good for God," Nangirl told the cameras, as she flashed her extended nails and sang Lady GaGa hits. Emphasising her passion for religious traditions, the youngster also revealed what she is most excited about at the Communion: "The dress... and receiving Jesus Christ."



Elsewhere, Irish traveller Sammy Jo flaunted her assets at a beauty pageant. Although, Sammy Jo pretty much flaunts her assets everywhere. When not pouting on the runway, she was strutting in low-cut tops around her house while her more meek sister watched on with what was either envy or despair. The sister was eventually shoe-horned into a shopping trip and taking part in the pageant as well, but never looked truly comfortable. This intriguing mix of personalities was sadly not explored.

Instead, we were given what felt like a Peter Kay spoof, as traveller Ronnie attempted to find "the next gypsy superstar". Ronnie expected 100 girls to attend. They got four.

Ronnie's hilarious attempts to calm nightclub owners' fears about hosting a gypsy pageant ("It isn't going to be a bareknuckle fight!") and panel of judges (his wife and two local hairdressers) felt like they were straight out of Phoenix Nights.

The over-arching question on Gypsy Weddings is always, 'Why?' As the girls top up their tan, force themselves into corsets and don wedding outfits that could probably house a family-of-three, little reasoning is given for their dedication to the "gypsy look" other than: "It looks nice."

When quizzed about the possibility of getting cancer from sunbeds, the startling deadpan response is: "If I get cancer, I get cancer... I might not get cancer, but at least I still look good."



The big wedding of the night came for Dolores, who brought some Spanish sunshine back to Ireland with palm tree and pineapple dresses on her 'Night-Before Party'. How can you top off waddling around with a giant pineapple stuck on your chest the day before your wedding? You have a 'cat' theme wedding day with matching cat dress and glow-in-the-dark 10-tier cake. Obviously.

However, it was young lad Gussy who just edged it when it came to stealing the show. The pint-sized gypsy could probably give Frankie Cocozza a run for his money, claiming to have over 100 girlfriends ("I've really lost count") and his cheeky banter with the cameras outshone even that wedding cake.

"Ladies!" smiled Gussy. "If you're ever in Coventry, don't be shy. Contact me." An offer that's impossible to refuse on Valentine's Day.

Big Fat Gypsy Weddings airs on Tuesday nights at 9pm on Channel 4

Are you all nerves and jitters ahead of a big date tonight? Do you not have a clue when it comes to Valentine's romance? Reality Bites may just have the answer for you in the most unlikely of places.

Reality Bites introduces our very own reality TV love guru... Gaz from Geordie Shore. A man who knows everything there is to know about "tashin' on", "banging" and "pulling birds", he's everything you could want from a 21st Century Casanova with added fake tan.

So keep reading for Gaz's must-read guide to love on Valentine's Day:



What should every single guy be planning to woo his lady of choice with?
"Nothing too cheesy. Don't turn up on the doorstep with flowers, chocolates and a big card. Don't follow that typical Valentine's cliche. It's going to be pretty intense going for a romantic meal with all the other couples sat around you."

Chocolates and wine or kebab and Jaegerbombs?
"It depends on the bird. Some girls love all the chocolates stuff. But personally, I'd do something fun. It doesn't matter whether you get a girl chocolates, a kebab or McDonald's. You just have to make sure you have a laugh. If you like the person and have a laugh, it doesn't matter what you get them. Girls may prefer flowers and chocolates, but they are pointless if you're not having fun."

Splash the cash or budget homecooked meal?
"I think the whole wining and dining thing was ages ago. The whole meal, I think girls just use it when an easy lad comes along. They get some free food, some free drink and a nice hour or two. The guy is left thinking, 'I've paid for this meal and I've got nothing out for it'.

"If I was doing it, I'd invite a girl around to mine. Meet a girl on a night out, meet her friends, invite her around to your place. Make sure you've liked them for ages before you waste money on a meal. I think when people do it on a first date, girls know that they're going to get spoiled."

What's the most romantic gift you've ever bought a girl?
"Before Geordie Shore, I once saved up for about four months and bought a Tiffany necklace. I had to save up for ages and I knew she wanted it. It was the matching necklace and bracelet, and it was definitely worth it in the end. I've been out for meals and stuff, but I don't really do that with girls."

Is sex on a first date on Valentine's Day acceptable?
"Yeah, if they offer it. But you'll know straight away if it's going to happen. Other girls you will have to make a good impression on and they'll just be wanting the meal and to check you out. You can tell straight away if it's going to happen. You can tell by the look in their eyes. You can tell by the banter. You can tell straight away. You should know instantly."

Why should we care about Valentine's Day?
"Think about the fit single girls! Nah, Valentine's Day is a day for couples, not single people. I like Valentine's Day when you're with a proper girlfriend because you're comfortable with them, you can spoil them and you can do whatever you want. But when you're single, I would never ever go on a first date on Valentine's Day.

"It would just be the most awkward nerve-wracking thing ever. If you're single, just get all your single lad mates together and go out for a laugh. Just make a big thing of the night out and have a proper laugh instead."

Dream Valentine's date...
"Jessica Alba. Has to be. I would do everything. I would be crawling around on the floor for her. Honestly, I'd do anything. I'd want to go away to a little island with her. Nobody there. Just sit on the beach. A little hammock. Oh... it would be perfect."

Geordie Shore continues on Tuesday nights at 10pm on MTV

Simon Cowell apparently turned to guest judge Carmen Electra during this week's London Britain's Got Talent auditions and whispered the words: "It was like Susan all over again."

This wasn't a curious sexual come-on from the dark lord of reality TV, but a statement of jaw-dropping shock after an audition from 17-year-old opera singer Jonathan Antoine.

Antoine had walked on to heckles and laughs (much like Susan Boyle in 2009), but walked out with a standing ovations and the judges were left stunned by his vocal prowess. "I think London may have the winner this year," cooed a very satisfied Cowell after the audition ended.

Clips of Antoine performing with his singing partner Charlotte Jaconelli have surfaced on YouTube since his audition.

Watch a YouTube clip of Jonathan Antoine & Charlotte Jaconelli below:

Forget X Factor versus Strictly; there's a new reality TV war in town.

Britain's Got Talent usually has bumper TV ratings and Saturday nights in its pocket when it rolls into town in the Spring. And with Simon Cowell back on board as Captain of the HMS Doggy Dancing, Opera Singing, Crying Children Ship and a bumper new panel of judges (David Walliams, Alesha Dixon), 2012 should have been no different.



However, a few big wigs and large spenders at BBC One have had other ideas. The Voice, a show which was created by Big Brother mastermind John De Mol two years ago, finally launches in the UK next month and will air on BBC One on Saturday nights primetime.

Following ratings success in the US (a whopping 37.6m viewers watched the post-Super Bowl season two premiere) with judges such as Cee Lo Green and Christina Aguilera, the Beeb have hired in the services of Jessie J (the pop one), Tom Jones (the old one), will.i.am (the one who knows Cheryl Cole) and Danny O'Donoghue (the other one) to compete as the show's 'coaches'.

Got Talent suffered in the ratings last year with Michael McIntyre and David Hasselhoff failing to capture the imagination as Simon Cowell stand-ins. The actual talent was even worse. Does the world need any more dancing dogs, doddery singing pensioners or weepy pre-pubescent opera singers?

The Voice will hope that the answer to that question is a big fat no. NBC launched The Voice in the US to much fanfare and despite a crowded marketplace in pop reality shows (Idol, The X Factor, The Sing-Off), the show has managed to hold its own and maintain some of the network's best ratings in a long while.















Whether the BBC can manage to shed their stuffy image when it comes to reality TV and stoke up some drama and mega ratings remains to be seen. If anyone knows or cares who Danny O'Donoghue is by the end of the first episode should be a good marker for the show's success.

Simon Cowell has faced off against the BBC on many occasions in the past. X Factor and Strictly have gone toe-to-toe in recent years (we mark the score 3-2 to Cowell at present) and he managed to make the last BBC singing reality series Fame Academy look fussy and old-fashioned compared to his bells and pyros mega productions. Cowell will remember less fondly his dual with Beeb over musical shows, when his Sinitta-led Grease Is The Word paled in the shadow of Andrew Lloyd Webber's jazz-hand singathons.

Cowell admitted to Digital Spy that he considered going head-to-head with The Voice to be a challenge. And Cowell loves a challenge. But with an ageing format on his hands and a new kid on the block, he's probably got one of the toughest TV battles of his career on his hands.

Which show are you more excited about watching on Saturday nights in 2012 - The Voice or Britain's Got Talent? Vote in our poll below.

It's only 6pm and Holly Hagan is already straddling a giant horse statue in the hotel lobby and asking passers-by what they think of her "side-boob". The rest of the cast have been tweeting about drinking since mid-afternoon.

Digital Spy should probably have guessed that a night out with the cast of Geordie Shore would be a messy one, but nothing could have prepared us for what lay in store.



The entire cast of Britain's most notoriously badly-behaved reality show were reunited at a Newcastle city centre hotel on Tuesday night. And there was a free bar.

We were invited along to hang out with Gaz, Vicky, Ricci and the rest as they celebrated their return to MTV with another series of boozing, sex and bust-ups. For anyone who has yet to be introduced to the North-East rag-tag collective, the first hour of series two would have been a good starting point.

A girl waving around a vibrator in another girl's face. A girl topless in a hot tub. A guy having a one-night stand in the "s**g pad" while one of the girls throws her shoes at the door. A catfight. A girl chundering her guts up in a bathroom toilet. It's enough to make Booze Britain look like an advert for the Conservative Party.



But none of this is put on for telly or an act. There is no scriptwriter or clever producer telling them where to stand, what to wear and how to behave. Straight after the screening, the cast are involved in filming a live online spinoff show. The only problem is that they've been downing Jaegerbombs by the half-dozen for the last couple of hours.

Charlotte is slumped on a sofa screaming random words. Nobody is talking to Rebecca. Bulked up human six-pack Jay is patrolling the room, looking like a giant bicep with eyes. Ricci just called Vicky a fat slag. And Gaz is on the pull. Party animals? It's like a human flipping zoo!

Over the course of the next hour, two members of the cast storm out, tampons are thrown at Gaz and Jay, glasses are smashed, there's an arm-wrestling contest and more Jaegerbombs are drunk. Host Laura Whitmore and production crew would have had an easier time trying to raise the Titanic than keep the Geordie rabble coherent and on camera.



Two hours after the cameras have finished rolling, the cast members still standing are still going strong at a local club night. In the VIP section of the venue (basically a giant cage with beanbags), Gaz, Charlotte, James, Holly, Jay and Sophie are making the most of the free drinks (club owners are happy to accommodate them, because a single tweet from one of them guarantees more punters through the door).

Outside the cage, the room is filled with onlookers wearing low-slung V-neck T-shirts, dodgy soil-brown fake tans, bad jeans, fake eyelashes and fake boobs. Everyone in the room wants to be in Geordie Shore and at the moment this is the closest they're going to get.

After Gaz and James offer Digital Spy some slaps on the back and concerned handshakes - they clearly realise we're a-couple-of-beers-down-the-local rather than bombs-by-the-dozen kind of people - we make an early exit for our hotel bedroom under the realisation that we're too old and prudish to become full-time Shorers.

Tomorrow night, the cast will be doing the same thing in another club in Newcastle and the only difference will be the name of the kebab stand on the way home. If partying, drinking and getting intro trouble really is a career path for TV fame today, these guys deserve it more than anyone.

Geordie Shore continues on Tuesday nights at 10pm on MTV

> 'Geordie Shore' cast video interview: 'There was fake tan up the walls'
> 'Geordie Shore' cast fight, walk out of spinoff show

Bosh! Bosh! Bosh! Geordie Shore is back and it's grubbier than ever.

After the relationship turmoil and boozing of series one and the hardcore partying and boob-flashing of the Magaluf Madness specials, you probably thought the show couldn't get any more downright smutty and brazenly real. You were wrong.

In series two, you can look forward to two new characters (who immediately set hearts aflutter and cause a catfight ruckus), unexpected relationships, unexpected break-ups and more new catchphrases to add to your Geordie slang dictionary. Anyone feeling "wetter than an otter's pocket"?

Watch our interview with the boys and girls of Geordie Shore series two below:


Geordie Shore returns on Tuesday, January 31 at 10pm on MTV

> 'Geordie Shore' series two video preview: Girls at war - watch
> 'Geordie Shore' cast launch doner kebab perfume - pictures

After the slightly-underwhelming comeback series last autumn (complete with an equally underwhelming winner. I mean, what did Paddy Doherty do exactly?), Channel 5 completely delivered with its second crack at Celebrity Big Brother, giving us three weeks of pure TV gold.

We got an eye-opening glimpse into the horrors of delusion with Andrew Stone, saw a Loose Woman's 53-year-old jubblies, witnessed Michael Madsen counting down the seconds until he can fire his agent and of course - 'Pantsgate'.

Tonight it all comes to a close with one of either Madsen, Denise Welch, Frankie Cocozza, Gareth Thomas or the Shannon twins being crowned winner. Whatever the result, Digital Spy will be there, getting as excitable as Brian Dowling and bringing you all the highlights of the Celebrity Big Brother final in our live blog.

Earlier this week, when Denise Welch sparked one of the most intense, emotional and heartbreaking moments in Big Brother history by pulling down a Playboy model's pants, she referred to her stint in the house as nothing short of a "nightmare".

A fair assessment perhaps, given that in just three weeks the Loose Women star has been pushed to breaking point on an almost daily basis by her arguments with Michael Madsen, been berated for stripping off for a drunken dip with a 19-year-old and reportedly raised concern that the trials of the house could kickstart her long-standing issues with depression.

Viewers and housemates alike can't seem to figure her out. Is she a victim or has the ill-feeling in the house developed from her sometimes questionable behaviour? Are her emotional outbursts cries for help or cries for attention?

Regardless on individual standpoints, there's no question that the Benidorm favourite has been struggling in the house in pretty much every way possible - but perhaps this nightmare could be building up to the dream ending. Could Denise Welch defy the odds and win Celebrity Big Brother?



Reality Bites will admit that at the beginning of the series we had Denise down as a potential first evictee rather than a winner. We couldn't shake the feeling that as a notoriously outspoken individual, she'd end up letting her mouth run away with her when stuck in front of a camera 24/7.

The bookmakers apparently have been unable to shake this perception, playing it safe by naming nice guy Gareth Thomas and cheeky-chappy Frankie Cocozza as favourites for the win. But if there's one thing we know about it Big Brother, it's to expect the unexpected.

Jedward seemed to have it in the bag last year, but they ended up losing to Gypsy Wedding star Paddy Doherty, a celebrity-of-a-certain-age with a hard-as-nails public persona that won the hearts of viewers by showing a more fragile, vulnerable side in the house. Sound familiar?

Big Brother is one area of life where nice girls have proven to finish last. Well, fifth or six place at least. Just look at the latest winner in the franchise - BB12 winner Aaron Allard-Morgan, who topped the public vote despite receiving one of the worst receptions of the series when he was voted out.

And while the Shannon twins are arguably the most Aaron-esque of the celebrity cast, having gained respect for the sheer audacity of their narcissistic ways, the controversial champion picked up votes not necessarily because of character traits or personality, but because of what he represented – the driving force of the series.

With the casual viewers mostly gone, the diehards have more influence and they rightly want to validate each series by selecting the most deserving candidate. These are the people that campaigned for Aisleyne to beat beloved tourettes sufferer Pete due to the development she displayed through her series.

They pushed Makosi into third place at a time when the tabloids and their loyal army of readers were baying for blood. Of course, it makes sense to them that this gameshow gets a winner who was a worthy player. And unless there's a shock return for Andrew Stone on the way, it's hard to argue that anyone has been more integral to this series than Denise.



Even before then, when the show had a bigger pool of viewers and voters, there was still this feeling that the Big Brother crown should be some form of reward for hardship in the house. Few are likely to count Shilpa Shetty amongst their favourite housemates of all time, but it just seemed right to vote her the winner of CBB5 after the infamous race row.

Then there's Ulrika Jonsson, who came out of nowhere to be crowned champion the following series after being dangerously close to shattering every second of the way. Arguably she is the winner that most resembles Denise's character in the house – a mature woman known for being a sharp and sometimes scandalous showboater broken down in a matter of days in the confines of an Elstree prison.

After more than a decade of exposure to reality shows, we the viewers are apparently as savvy to the idea of story arcs as the producers themselves. And we love a heart-warming ending.

Likewise, Big Brother has often been a place to celebrate those who have lost out in the high school of life. Brian, Nadia, the aforementioned Pete, shy and quiet girl Rachel - all could be treated like outsiders on the outside, but in the house they become stars.

It's always more satisfying to see someone celebrate their win in tears, having attached a real meaning to coming top of a popularity contest with all that could be picked apart about them in the real world.

In Denise's case, a Big Brother win would undoubtedly do wonders to combat the stigma that must have come - however quiet - as she battled depression, alcohol addiction and a drug problem.



And let's not forget that Denise does have quite a substantial fanbase out there already. She's been in the public eye for around 15 years as part of TV institutions such as Coronation Street, Loose Women and Benidorm.

She finished sixth out of 16 contestants on last year's Dancing on Ice despite limping around the bottom of the judges' scoreboard virtually the whole way through. But little by little she got better and soon her existing supporters found that they had more company.

As the judges praised her efforts on the show, more viewers joined Team Welch and rewarded her growth. She impressed by choosing to tread more carefully, pick herself up after he injuries and learn from her mistakes - isn't it conceivable she could do the same in Big Brother?

Like we said before, Big Brother is anything but predictable. We here at Digital Spy have been surprised so many times before - we were gasping too when Kirk and Natalie got booted last week.

But with no clear favourite going into the final, don't be surprised if the most talked-about contestant of the series ends up getting the last word.

> Celebrity Big Brother The Final poll: Who do you want to win?

Do you think Denise stands a chance of winning Celebrity Big Brother? Will she be getting your vote? Leave your comments below!

Simon Cowell has hooked up with Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith for an international live reality TV show to find the "world's greatest DJs".

The man behind The X Factor was tight-lipped on the details, but we're assuming there'll be a clutch of hand-picked celeb judges to put the hopefuls through their beatmatched paces.

So if Simon hasn't yet made those all-important phonecalls, here are some of our preferred picks for The Scratch Factor (or whatever they end up calling it!).

DJ Jazzy Jeff
With his best buddy Will Smith involved in the show, Jazz is a definite, surely? Jeff was an award-winning hip-hop DJ before he and Smith won TV fame in The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air.
The pair released five studio albums together and had two megahits with 'Summertime' and 'Boom! Shake The Room'.