Inspector Morose

Mister Cheerful

Wasn’t ITV’s latest detective a total and utter misery guts?

Seriously I don’t think we’ve had such a moody, more miserable looking detective on our screens since Jimmy Nail inflicted the sulky Spender on us.

Class of 76 proved to worth sticking with but most of the first hour was so ponderous and pickled in melancholy that it took some stamina to stay with. When things finally got going, Robert Carlyle’s unsmiling Inspector Monroe gradually got under the skin and made a bog standard murder mystery a cut above the usual, although I hate it when we as viewers manage to work out what’s going on before the plods do.

Plodding could certainly apply to the first half of this two-parter and if Monroe emerges again let’s hope we don’t waste too much time re-establishing his downbeat miserable persona.

Even Taggart used to crack a smile occasionally.

Claire Skinner was great as the loopy Doctor Tremayne. It’s a shame we don’t see her on the box more often.

Over the parrot Brian

The Gaffer

If you think The Match is just about football you’d be mistaken. This is a marvellous slice of celebrity reality TV and the fact that all the competitors are male makes it fascinating viewing. The whole thing is completely awash with testosterone.

Graham Taylor is the wise old sage in charge in the team and backed by the monosyllabic Luther Blissett, it’s easy to forget and think you’re watching Mike Bassett and Doddsy.

Former reality show winners abound, with Anthony from Big Brother getting into bother for failing to get out of bed on time, Steve from X-Factor booted for failing to gel with his fellow prima donnas while Phillip Oliver (The Games winner) and Will Mellor (Celeb Fame Academy) getting into a childish spat over a game of cards. Great stuff.

The most fun we had at Hogan Towers though was trying to work out what some of these so-called celebs were actually famous for. Not being Dream Team addicts we were struggling with Jim Alexander but then he popped on a chocolate ad and the penny dropped.

I don’t know whether I’m imagining it but there seems to be an uneasy relationship between Mark Durden-Smith and Zoë Ball.

Great show.

D I V O R C E

Jack Dee finally met his match in Live at the Apollo with Rob Brydon’s barnstorming set as Keith Barrett giving a talk on relationships.

No member of the audience seemed safe as Brydon’s merciless parody, including hilarious slide show toppled target after target including a ruthless leg pull of Paul Danan and several well aimed barbs at Ralf Little.

In a packed programme tonight…

The Guv'nor

I’ve always been a big fan of Ronnie Barker, one of our finest ever actors and writers who could make a funny script even funnier with his immaculate timing and ability to work an audience.

It was in Porridge that I felt Barker’s best performances lay. He was so immersed in the character of Fletcher that we totally believed in him, with scarcely a thought that this was the big bloke from The Two Ronnies.

As for UKTV Gold’s Ronnie Barker Tribute Day, they screen Porridge so often it would be easy to think that every Saturday was Ronnie Barker day. I hope that some of his lesser-seen offerings see the light of day in the wake of his passing. I love the chance to see The Odd Job Man again from LWT’s 6 Dates with Barker. Co-starring David Jason, it was great stuff.

Come on get happy

You have to wonder about the wisdom of booking The Happy Mondays for a kids TV show and even more so about trying to hold an interview with them.

Lauren Laverne is no Parkinson but battled through bravely on cd:uk as Shaun Ryder was nigh on incoherent while Bez denied being on Big Brother and claimed he’d been “in the jungle???.

Car crash telly at it’s best and miles better than the rest of a rather dull show. Myleene Klass looks totally out of her depth as a presenter

Seeing Red

Poorly scheduled

Given the recent success of Doctor Who you’d think ITV would be bigging up the return of Captain Scarlet rather than hiding it away in the woeful MUM.

This CGI version has been slickly produced, looks fantastic and would make great family viewing in an early evening slot.

It must have cost millions to produce so you’d think a bit of on screen promotion to help it find an audience wouldn’t go amiss. It’s certainly a hundred times better than the disappointing Thunderbirds movie currently airing on Sky Movies.

Chat

Parky has been taking a shot at other chat show hosts but Jonathon Ross still manages to provide great Friday night entertainment, though I could probably have done without seeing him fondling Sharon Osborne’s fake boobs.

Thankfully Frank Skinner has dispensed with his glamour girls after just one episode but the latest show seemed rather dull. Ringo Starr isn’t the most forthcoming of guests and Paul O’Grady seemed to get much more out of him. It would be good to see O’Grady tried out in a later slot where he could give full rein to his acidic asides.

A little bit of soap

Rooftop drama

I’ve really lost patience with Coronation Street. I really couldn’t care less about Steve MacDonald’s love life or Danny Baldwin’s infidelities. The show just doesn’t feel like good old Corrie anymore.

Emmerdale has been much more engaging of late as the villagers come to terms with Max’s tragic and spectacular demise, though they seem to have slotted this storyline a bit soon after the Home Farm explosion which wasn’t really fully exploited.

Over on EastEnders Babs Windsor continues to impress as the loathsome Peggy Mitchell, thundering her way around the square with the hapless Billy in her wake. They certainly make a more believable duo than the one dimensional Jake and the barmy Chrissie whose hair seems to be taking on a personality of it’s own.

At Sun Hill, the barmy PC Kent storyline finally went completely over the top, literally. I’ve always liked Todd Carty since his days as Tucker in Grange Hill and I hope his next role is a bit more believable than this one


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