School of Hard Knocks

Is Waterloo Road a great new educational drama or just a bolthole for former Corrie actors? I counted at least seven, such a high quotient in fact that they could easily have named the show Weatherfield Comp.

We have had loads of these school-based dramas over the years and nearly all of them struggle to skirt round the clichés, with the exception of the marvellous Teachers which was – for two series at least – a great piece of telly. I wouldn’t put this in that category.

I wouldn’t even say it was Grange Hill for grown-ups; it’s not even up to that standard. If it’s trying to make a point about the education system, it’s not doing it very succinctly and on the entertainment level it feels very soapy.

It might have been better if they’d let us get to know the somewhat cardboard characters a bit better before dumping all that love triangle nonsense on us. Did anyone really care when Jill Halfpenny’s character – even the name hasn’t stuck – sat weeping because her best mate’s new groom has the hots for her?

“Bad boy” Donty’s worst antics seemed to be nicking bus tickets and texting in class. I’m amazed he didn’t see that lorry when ferrying his mates round in his dad’s limo. The rest us of us saw it coming a mile off.

The scheduling of this seems really odd too, head to head with The Bill when the whole thing has a Sunday night feel to it. A post watershed slot may have allowed it to get a bit grittier which is probably what it needs.

C minus. Must do better.

Unbelievable

Hustle is enjoyable but you have to have your tongue firmly in your cheek while viewing. Surely no one would be gullible enough to fall for the camp over the top performances of this bunch, entertaining as they may be. Really pushing believability was Jaime Murray’s attempt at an American accent; Hugh Laurie in House is convincing in comparison.

That said I thought Mel Smith was very good as the black-hearted villain of the piece, while it seemed odd to book Keith Barron and then barely use him at all.

The con gang seemed about as street as Emily Bishop as they set about convincing their mark that his son was the next Eminem. Next Ali G maybe. However it’s pleasing enough hokum for a weekend though I wonder why there are so few episodes in the series.

Searching for laughs

It’s been tough to find things to laugh at on the box this week. UKTV Gold show Fawlty Towers and Porridge so often that people with plasma screens may well have images of Basil Fawlty and Ronnie Barker burnt into them by now while “Box Set” showings of My Family seem like true torture.

I eventually gravitated to Paramount’s screenings of Shane, not in the hope of a laugh you’ll understand, more to marvel at Frank Skinner’s audacity in including so many appalling puns. One show that does stand up to repeated screenings is the wonderful Early Doors, packed full of great characters. I love dodgy coppers Phil and Nige. They should get their own show.

Why do you have to go and make things so complicated

Formula 1 returned to ITV1 this week with smoothy chops Steve Rider seamlessly taking over from smoothy chops Jim Rosenthal.

They’ve changed all the rules yet again and the qualifying session would puzzle a rocket scientist. Fair play to ace commentators Martin Brundle and James Allen for making some sense of the mess though things were so muddled that even they got tongue tied at times. Goodness knows how Murray Walker would have coped it all.

Convoluted it may be but the new system was way more entertaining than qualifying has been for several years. I just wish that ITV would use one from their bouquet of channels to show us Friday’s practice session live. The ads also remain a pain.

Misery loves company

Ken Stott’s a great actor but why does he keep being cast as a succession of misery guts detectives? He does a fair job as Rebus, certainly his portrayal of the down beat is closer to the impression I’d formed from reading Ian Rankin’s books than that of John Hannah, another actor whose roles rarely give him the chance to smile.

I was wondering why we don’t see more Scottish shows on our screens in the south so I took a look at River City. Not good. Frankly I enjoyed Pobol Y Cwm more, even with the inconvenience of the subtitles. This long running Welsh soap has a distinctly Crossroads feel to it.

…and I think to myself…

David Attenborough’s Life on Earth was a seminal piece of television but on the evidence of the first episode Planet Earth is set to supersede it.

It seems they have captured so many of the glories of Earth that the series seems breathtaking in its scope. The baboons in the Okavango were particularly enthralling and those baby polar bears unforgettable.

It is in programmes as wonderful as this that the BBC justifies both its existence and the licence fee. If you haven’t seen it yet, get on board quick. If you don’t enjoy it you just may have no soul.

Truly great television.

The things bad dreams are made of

When Gordon Ramsay arrived at Clubway 421, it boasted the title of Blackpool’s Restaurant of The Year. A week of Ramsay’s harsh advice made for a great hour of telly but on his return to the place they had given up the ghost and reverted to a greasy spoon café.

Judging from the postscripts after the other two episodes in the series, those establishments don’t seem to have done too well either so I wonder whether all the stick the participants have to put up with from the great one is worth their while.

It’s certainly doing Gordon’s stock no harm though and give me him over Jamie Oliver or Gary Rhodes any day of the week.

Random thoughts

Is BBC2’s The Armstrongs really a docu soap or is it a really clever sitcom?

Can’t we fire Alan Sugar from The Apprentice? A phone vote would be nice.

Whatever Smithy is supposed to have done in The Bill, surely being banged up with Arthur Fowler is too cruel a punishment? Inform Amnesty.

That said it’s great to see Bill Treacher back on our screens.

How do the makers of House keep the quality so good week in, week out?

My Family launched into its sixth series. Seems like more, somehow.