TV
Lost in a forest, all alone
Each new version of Robin Hood is going to find it more difficult than the last as expectations are massive and many viewers tune in with tons of baggage brought their previous viewings of the legend.
As if that weight of expectation weren’t enough to ensure that disappointment is almost inevitable, the new show has been handed the Doctor Who slot and so many will be expecting it to roundly trump Ant and Dec in the ratings in the way that the Time Lord did on his reappearance.
Forget the tights and twee dialogue of Richard Greene and the mysticism and mullets of the eighties endeavour. What we have here is a hip version, so hip in fact that you sometimes expect Robin to pull out a mobile phone and start texting rather than produce a longbow.
It seems that Batman may have more of an influence on the latest hoodie on the block, a bit of a slight figure to become a cult hero, with loads of brooding intensity and hints of a troubled past. There’s more anti-hero than matinee idol about the lead here.
Early days to comment on Robin’s posse but even on the evidence of the opener, these men seem rather less than merry and it might not bode well that the baddies of the piece - Keith Allen’s somewhat restrained Sheriff and a Gisborne that looks more appropriately dressed to be riding a motorbike than a horse – seem more likeable than the supposed good guys, though that’s not saying much.
I think what’s missing here is chemistry. There didn’t seem to be any between Robin and Marion or Robin and the Sheriff or most worryingly Robin and the audience. Perhaps they should have shown a double episode for starters to get things going a bit quicker because there was little in the opener to suggest that this is worth staying with for another twelve weeks.
To be honest, having loved writer Dominic Minghella’s Doc Martin, I really was expecting more from this and feel that just maybe the whole thing has been miscast.
Cracked
I suppose after ten years of anticipation, the return of Cracker was bound to be a disappointment.
In itself it was an interesting enough tale but as a great comeback for a much loved show, it just didn’t feel right. No mention of Penhaligon for a start. Not one. As for Fitz’s relationship with long suffering missus Judith, it seemed entirely unaltered, which seems very strange given that a decade has passed, most of it with the Fitzgeralds on the other side of the globe. Surely the dynamic should have been different.
The plot meant that we had two hours of down crying American Foreign Policy. Angry stuff but we’ve been living it for the last five years and really didn’t need it rammed down out throats in such an overtly political fashion, though I have say that Anthony “Shameless” Flanagan did a more than competent job as the killer and looks to be a star in the making.
Indeed it wasn’t a bad piece of television but saddled with the history of what had gone before, it was somehow an unsatisfying piece and it may be best all round if the franchise was now left to rest in piece.
Food for thought
While Jamie Oliver has been trying to sort out healthy eating for kids, Gary Lineker keeps popping up telling us that a bag of crisps contains only 5% of our recommended daily fat allowance or something like that. So potentially we can eat 140 packets of crisps a week, can we? Great!
Obviously there’s conflict between two of our most popular telly personalities that needs settling.
After all those celebrity boxing matches how about a celebrity food fight for Children in Need, the catch being that Jamie can only have wholesome healthy ingredients in his armoury while Gary is restricted to crisps and corn chips.
If you think that’s funny, you should see the wife
Further proof that reality TV really is eating itself came as Wife Swap gave us a celebrity special featuring John “Big Brother” McCririck and Edwina “Hell’s Kitchen” Currie. What could have been seen as a clash of the obstinate titans became dull as ditch water pretty quickly with stubborn old Mac doing his level best not succumb to the Currie regime.
Somewhat boorishly, he raised the John Major issue on more than one occasion, even on their first meeting, but all this did was serve to reinforce the media personas of the pair, he as spoilt old buffoon, she as unsympathetic bossy boots.
Meanwhile Jenny and JJ seemed to be getting along famously with the only source of tension – and thereby possible entertainment – coming from Jenny’s attempts to curtail JJ’s smoking habits. This was the biggest letdown. We never really managed to find out what makes either of these two seemingly very nice people stay with partners perceived in the public eye as less than wonderful.
I was disappointed that this aspect was left largely unexamined, particularly in the case of Jenny, whose doting attentions on her hubby have surely largely contributed to the man he is today. It’s difficult to assess whether she should be admonished or rewarded for the part she has played in creating such a monster.
As our culture and certainly our racing coverage would be so much poorer without the likes of Big Mac to liven it up, I suppose on balance she’s done the world a favour. As for Currie, I really felt she was playing up to the media image of attention seeking harridan and I would doubt whether we got to see the real Edwina at all.
I could be wrong of course. She may actually be an attention seeking harridan.
Do I Like That
There are some key elements missing from this year’s The Match. Badly missed is former Legends manager Bobby Robson, sadly too poorly to take part, while former celeb skipper Jonathan Wilkes is another whose absence is keenly felt. Even breakfast time blandy Ben Shepherd’s absence has been notable this time round.
Maybe that can explain why this year’s exercise has seemed so flat compared to previous years and probably the higher profile Soccer Aid this summer has also taken some of the shine off, but there just didn’t seem to be the big personalities and the drama this time round to make it unmissable telly. For me the nightly shows were way too long and I’d have preferred a quick nightly half hour round up than the snooreathon that hogged the Sky One schedules this week.
Star of the show remains Graham Taylor, a man really comfortable in his own skin and seemingly untouched by the twenty first century. The sight of him in a shocking pink shirt on Monday’s show was worth this month’s Sky subscription on its own.
What Not to Watch
I wonder whether some of those bods in TV land understand the power of branding. Bringing back What Not to Wear but with new presenters and a changed format seemed to totally ignore the fact that Trinny and Susannah were the brand here rather than the title of the show.
Fair play to Mica Paris for giving it a good go but I can’t help but think that the new show might have opened to less expectation if it had been given a fresh title and a chance to find its feet back on BBC Two.
Meanwhile Trinny and Susannah Undress sat awkwardly on the ITV1 schedule and the change of channel seems to have turned the self styled style gurus into cod psychologists which seems to me to be a very bad idea indeed. It shouldn’t be a problem for ratings though. Part of the joy of this pair’s success is that as many of us tune in to enjoy mocking their ideas as those that hang on their every word.
Morally Skint?
Part of the joy of the docusoap that is Skint is the understated and unobtrusive commentary, expertly delivered by Dean Lennox Kelly but there are moments here that make really uncomfortable viewing.
Watching Tony – who had been having a particularly bad time in this particular episode – finally crumble while trying to cancel a satellite subscription to the extent where the normally impassive television crew had to intervene was really sad, but I felt I was being intrusive just by watching it.
The morality of using those really struggling to get by as infotainment is something I’m really struggling with, though the show remains compulsive viewing. It would be interesting to see how these moral dilemmas were dealt with by the show's production team and a “making of” type of show to accompany the series would be most welcome.
Find cheek, stick tongue in it
Fair play to ITV1 for trying to get back to those heady days of sixties telly when over the top spy capers were a firm staple of British drama. Those great shows such as The Avengers and Department S had the bonus that they never took themselves too seriously so the plots could get more and more outlandish because the audience was very much in on the joke.
It’s a spirit that seems to have been lost on most current telly producers though Hustle comes close to the type of energy and general daftness of the greats.
What The Outsiders had in common with those wonderful sixties shows was its cheapness, like flashing various names of European cities on screen is ever going to convince us they’d actually been there to film.
The problem is that the ridiculous plot was far too silly to ever be taken seriously but a almost serious air pervaded the whole piece, making it seem merely daft rather than the entertaining piece it clearly could have been. Things probably weren’t helped by Nigel Harman, whose attempts to be the coolest spy in telly history were severely hampered by early scenes in which he managed to work his way up to a level of intensity not seen on British telly since Mark Strickson’s performance as Turlough on Doctor Who over twenty years ago.
Fair enough, it made me laugh but only because it was laughable rather than actually funny.
This looked very much like a pilot. It will need a considerable overhaul should it go to series.
Quality Street
Died-in-the-wool, defend-it-at-any-cost fans of Coronation Street don’t tend to like me very much, so critical have I been of the soap in this column - but hey, it’s only because I care.
Any road up, credit where credit’s due, the Fred-Audrey saga has been beautifully crafted and helped by the playing of John Savident and Sue Nicholls not just recently but over the past few years. So many soap relationships seem artificial but this one has been a slow burner for years and has been wonderfully executed.
I’m really sad, I say I’m really sad to see Fred depart the soap and I’ll miss him. Will the show be any better for his passing? Never in this world.
Meanwhile snobby Sally and her stroppy kids – “The Girls”, who no doubt behave like that having been brought up on a diet of turkey twizzlers and economy fish fingers – are off on a trip to Paris. Anyone else hoping it is a one way ticket?
Deadpan Walking
It’s not easy to make a successful transition from stand up to sitcom. TV history is littered with woeful sitcoms built around a comedian rather than a good comic actor. Jim Davidson springs immediately to mind as does the agony of the pun filled Shane with Frank Skinner.
Lead Balloon sees Jack Dee tackling the problem by more or less playing a slightly less successful version of Jack Dee and it works beautifully, not only because his character has an air of Victor Meldrew about him but also because of the marvellous supporting cast.
There were laughs a plenty in the opener and although it felt a bit like a cross between Curb Your Enthusiasm and Extras, it was fresh and unlike comedy offerings on more prominent channels, very, very funny.
Another stand up making the same leap was Lee Mack, though with less success in Not Going Out in which he is teamed with the very annoying Tim Vine. There was the occasional funny line but the humour seemed forced and the staging somehow dated. It was easily better than most Friday night BBC One sitcoms but that's not saying much.
Sleepless in Solihull
There nothing worse than no being able to get off to sleep, particularly if you need an early start in the morning. I’ve often found that a few minutes of ITV Play can be enough to solve the problem but in the early hours of Friday morning, I made the mistake of catching a repeat of Drop the Dead Donkey and despite the fact that all the topical gags are now a decade and a half out of date, it was still a very entertaining watch. It’s hard to get off to sleep when you’re laughing.
For modern day topical comedy, we have to rely on overly formatted panel shows these days and to be fair, Mock the Week does a decent enough job but it’s a pity that no other show was able to following the trail blazed by DTDD.
Sad news
I was sorry to hearing of the passing of Tom Bell, one of our finest screen actors. Many will remember him from Prime Suspect, indeed he returned for the final outing, but for me his best TV role was that of embittered ex-jailbird Frank Ross in Trevor Preston’s gritty Euston Films production Out, for which he was BAFTA nominated, a truly chilling portrayal of the bleakness of a hardened criminal.
Going round in circles
Those BBC One hippos are getting on my nerves already. Bring back the globe.
Each new version of Robin Hood is going to find it more difficult than the last as expectations are massive and many viewers tune in with tons of baggage brought their previous viewings of the legend.
As if that weight of expectation weren’t enough to ensure that disappointment is almost inevitable, the new show has been handed the Doctor Who slot and so many will be expecting it to roundly trump Ant and Dec in the ratings in the way that the Time Lord did on his reappearance.
Forget the tights and twee dialogue of Richard Greene and the mysticism and mullets of the eighties endeavour. What we have here is a hip version, so hip in fact that you sometimes expect Robin to pull out a mobile phone and start texting rather than produce a longbow.
It seems that Batman may have more of an influence on the latest hoodie on the block, a bit of a slight figure to become a cult hero, with loads of brooding intensity and hints of a troubled past. There’s more anti-hero than matinee idol about the lead here.
Early days to comment on Robin’s posse but even on the evidence of the opener, these men seem rather less than merry and it might not bode well that the baddies of the piece - Keith Allen’s somewhat restrained Sheriff and a Gisborne that looks more appropriately dressed to be riding a motorbike than a horse – seem more likeable than the supposed good guys, though that’s not saying much.
I think what’s missing here is chemistry. There didn’t seem to be any between Robin and Marion or Robin and the Sheriff or most worryingly Robin and the audience. Perhaps they should have shown a double episode for starters to get things going a bit quicker because there was little in the opener to suggest that this is worth staying with for another twelve weeks.
To be honest, having loved writer Dominic Minghella’s Doc Martin, I really was expecting more from this and feel that just maybe the whole thing has been miscast.
Cracked
I suppose after ten years of anticipation, the return of Cracker was bound to be a disappointment.
In itself it was an interesting enough tale but as a great comeback for a much loved show, it just didn’t feel right. No mention of Penhaligon for a start. Not one. As for Fitz’s relationship with long suffering missus Judith, it seemed entirely unaltered, which seems very strange given that a decade has passed, most of it with the Fitzgeralds on the other side of the globe. Surely the dynamic should have been different.
The plot meant that we had two hours of down crying American Foreign Policy. Angry stuff but we’ve been living it for the last five years and really didn’t need it rammed down out throats in such an overtly political fashion, though I have say that Anthony “Shameless” Flanagan did a more than competent job as the killer and looks to be a star in the making.
Indeed it wasn’t a bad piece of television but saddled with the history of what had gone before, it was somehow an unsatisfying piece and it may be best all round if the franchise was now left to rest in piece.
Food for thought
While Jamie Oliver has been trying to sort out healthy eating for kids, Gary Lineker keeps popping up telling us that a bag of crisps contains only 5% of our recommended daily fat allowance or something like that. So potentially we can eat 140 packets of crisps a week, can we? Great!
Obviously there’s conflict between two of our most popular telly personalities that needs settling.
After all those celebrity boxing matches how about a celebrity food fight for Children in Need, the catch being that Jamie can only have wholesome healthy ingredients in his armoury while Gary is restricted to crisps and corn chips.
If you think that’s funny, you should see the wife
Further proof that reality TV really is eating itself came as Wife Swap gave us a celebrity special featuring John “Big Brother” McCririck and Edwina “Hell’s Kitchen” Currie. What could have been seen as a clash of the obstinate titans became dull as ditch water pretty quickly with stubborn old Mac doing his level best not succumb to the Currie regime.
Somewhat boorishly, he raised the John Major issue on more than one occasion, even on their first meeting, but all this did was serve to reinforce the media personas of the pair, he as spoilt old buffoon, she as unsympathetic bossy boots.
Meanwhile Jenny and JJ seemed to be getting along famously with the only source of tension – and thereby possible entertainment – coming from Jenny’s attempts to curtail JJ’s smoking habits. This was the biggest letdown. We never really managed to find out what makes either of these two seemingly very nice people stay with partners perceived in the public eye as less than wonderful.
I was disappointed that this aspect was left largely unexamined, particularly in the case of Jenny, whose doting attentions on her hubby have surely largely contributed to the man he is today. It’s difficult to assess whether she should be admonished or rewarded for the part she has played in creating such a monster.
As our culture and certainly our racing coverage would be so much poorer without the likes of Big Mac to liven it up, I suppose on balance she’s done the world a favour. As for Currie, I really felt she was playing up to the media image of attention seeking harridan and I would doubt whether we got to see the real Edwina at all.
I could be wrong of course. She may actually be an attention seeking harridan.
Do I Like That
There are some key elements missing from this year’s The Match. Badly missed is former Legends manager Bobby Robson, sadly too poorly to take part, while former celeb skipper Jonathan Wilkes is another whose absence is keenly felt. Even breakfast time blandy Ben Shepherd’s absence has been notable this time round.
Maybe that can explain why this year’s exercise has seemed so flat compared to previous years and probably the higher profile Soccer Aid this summer has also taken some of the shine off, but there just didn’t seem to be the big personalities and the drama this time round to make it unmissable telly. For me the nightly shows were way too long and I’d have preferred a quick nightly half hour round up than the snooreathon that hogged the Sky One schedules this week.
Star of the show remains Graham Taylor, a man really comfortable in his own skin and seemingly untouched by the twenty first century. The sight of him in a shocking pink shirt on Monday’s show was worth this month’s Sky subscription on its own.
What Not to Watch
I wonder whether some of those bods in TV land understand the power of branding. Bringing back What Not to Wear but with new presenters and a changed format seemed to totally ignore the fact that Trinny and Susannah were the brand here rather than the title of the show.
Fair play to Mica Paris for giving it a good go but I can’t help but think that the new show might have opened to less expectation if it had been given a fresh title and a chance to find its feet back on BBC Two.
Meanwhile Trinny and Susannah Undress sat awkwardly on the ITV1 schedule and the change of channel seems to have turned the self styled style gurus into cod psychologists which seems to me to be a very bad idea indeed. It shouldn’t be a problem for ratings though. Part of the joy of this pair’s success is that as many of us tune in to enjoy mocking their ideas as those that hang on their every word.
Morally Skint?
Part of the joy of the docusoap that is Skint is the understated and unobtrusive commentary, expertly delivered by Dean Lennox Kelly but there are moments here that make really uncomfortable viewing.
Watching Tony – who had been having a particularly bad time in this particular episode – finally crumble while trying to cancel a satellite subscription to the extent where the normally impassive television crew had to intervene was really sad, but I felt I was being intrusive just by watching it.
The morality of using those really struggling to get by as infotainment is something I’m really struggling with, though the show remains compulsive viewing. It would be interesting to see how these moral dilemmas were dealt with by the show's production team and a “making of” type of show to accompany the series would be most welcome.
Find cheek, stick tongue in it
Fair play to ITV1 for trying to get back to those heady days of sixties telly when over the top spy capers were a firm staple of British drama. Those great shows such as The Avengers and Department S had the bonus that they never took themselves too seriously so the plots could get more and more outlandish because the audience was very much in on the joke.
It’s a spirit that seems to have been lost on most current telly producers though Hustle comes close to the type of energy and general daftness of the greats.
What The Outsiders had in common with those wonderful sixties shows was its cheapness, like flashing various names of European cities on screen is ever going to convince us they’d actually been there to film.
The problem is that the ridiculous plot was far too silly to ever be taken seriously but a almost serious air pervaded the whole piece, making it seem merely daft rather than the entertaining piece it clearly could have been. Things probably weren’t helped by Nigel Harman, whose attempts to be the coolest spy in telly history were severely hampered by early scenes in which he managed to work his way up to a level of intensity not seen on British telly since Mark Strickson’s performance as Turlough on Doctor Who over twenty years ago.
Fair enough, it made me laugh but only because it was laughable rather than actually funny.
This looked very much like a pilot. It will need a considerable overhaul should it go to series.
Quality Street
Died-in-the-wool, defend-it-at-any-cost fans of Coronation Street don’t tend to like me very much, so critical have I been of the soap in this column - but hey, it’s only because I care.
Any road up, credit where credit’s due, the Fred-Audrey saga has been beautifully crafted and helped by the playing of John Savident and Sue Nicholls not just recently but over the past few years. So many soap relationships seem artificial but this one has been a slow burner for years and has been wonderfully executed.
I’m really sad, I say I’m really sad to see Fred depart the soap and I’ll miss him. Will the show be any better for his passing? Never in this world.
Meanwhile snobby Sally and her stroppy kids – “The Girls”, who no doubt behave like that having been brought up on a diet of turkey twizzlers and economy fish fingers – are off on a trip to Paris. Anyone else hoping it is a one way ticket?
Deadpan Walking
It’s not easy to make a successful transition from stand up to sitcom. TV history is littered with woeful sitcoms built around a comedian rather than a good comic actor. Jim Davidson springs immediately to mind as does the agony of the pun filled Shane with Frank Skinner.
Lead Balloon sees Jack Dee tackling the problem by more or less playing a slightly less successful version of Jack Dee and it works beautifully, not only because his character has an air of Victor Meldrew about him but also because of the marvellous supporting cast.
There were laughs a plenty in the opener and although it felt a bit like a cross between Curb Your Enthusiasm and Extras, it was fresh and unlike comedy offerings on more prominent channels, very, very funny.
Another stand up making the same leap was Lee Mack, though with less success in Not Going Out in which he is teamed with the very annoying Tim Vine. There was the occasional funny line but the humour seemed forced and the staging somehow dated. It was easily better than most Friday night BBC One sitcoms but that's not saying much.
Sleepless in Solihull
There nothing worse than no being able to get off to sleep, particularly if you need an early start in the morning. I’ve often found that a few minutes of ITV Play can be enough to solve the problem but in the early hours of Friday morning, I made the mistake of catching a repeat of Drop the Dead Donkey and despite the fact that all the topical gags are now a decade and a half out of date, it was still a very entertaining watch. It’s hard to get off to sleep when you’re laughing.
For modern day topical comedy, we have to rely on overly formatted panel shows these days and to be fair, Mock the Week does a decent enough job but it’s a pity that no other show was able to following the trail blazed by DTDD.
Sad news
I was sorry to hearing of the passing of Tom Bell, one of our finest screen actors. Many will remember him from Prime Suspect, indeed he returned for the final outing, but for me his best TV role was that of embittered ex-jailbird Frank Ross in Trevor Preston’s gritty Euston Films production Out, for which he was BAFTA nominated, a truly chilling portrayal of the bleakness of a hardened criminal.
Going round in circles
Those BBC One hippos are getting on my nerves already. Bring back the globe.
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