It used to be a bit of kitsch fun every year: terrible songs, the odd over the top act and politically influenced voting have all been part and parcel of Eurovision for decades. No problem there, but it seems that there are just so many countries now that the Eurovision Song Contest has simply got too big for its own good.

Nations swaying their votes towards their neighbours was great for a chuckle when only a few were doing it. Now the practice has become so rampant that the contest was marred to such an extent that even old stager Terry Wogan was struggling to see the funny side as the results came in.

There are so many countries involved in the voting now that each nation only actually announces the destination of its top three nations, with the lower scores just appearing on the screen. This practice not only robs the competition of some much needed drama and tramples on ritual, but it also managed to wrong foot old Terry on several occasions throughout the night; Terry often pondering whether a nation would give Russia or Serbia any points when they were already on screen.

As for the songs themselves, some of the very best were ousted in the semi-final, and it seemed really odd to have a Eurovision without the Dutch, the Danes, Cyprus and Malta.

Thankfully Malta was still allowed to vote and the twelve points it gave to Scooch saved them from humiliation. There was not a lot wrong with Scooch’s effort and the lack of points awarded for their efforts is proof positive that voting has little to do with the actual songs. You may absolutely detest Flying the Flag but here’s betting you can sing along to it.

As for the others, I thought the Serbian song was a bit of a dirge, the drag act from the Ukraine who looked like a cross between Su Pollard, Biggins and several rolls of BacoFoil was entertaining enough if you hit the mute button but my favourite was Russia by a street.

Sadly we lacked a post Eurovision show to pick over the bones this year, at least on the BBC. A trawl through the international channels on Sky revealed that Spanish channel TVEi was providing just such a post mortem and I bemoaned the lack of an equivalent on one of our channels. Unfortunately my Spanish was way too rusty to understand what the heck was going on. If only I could have found a French version.

Eurovision may have grown in size but has diminished in stature and I wonder for just how many more years will nations like us, Spain and Germany continue to fund the extravaganza if our own entries continue to be marginalised. People have been sounding the death knell of the competition for along as I can remember but the show could actually end up becoming a victim of its own expansion.

A Bit of Fry and Laurie

An example of the growing gulf between British and American drama can be witnessed by what Fry and Laurie - once leading lights of the comedy scene – are up to these days.

Hugh Laurie is winning plaudits all over the shop for his wonderfully spiky performance in House, an often thought-provoking and always entertaining medical drama from across the pond. This is a show that is managing to joyously avoid the soapiness that seems to swamp nearly every other hospital drama ever produced and is riveting viewing.

Stephen Fry meanwhile is appearing in cosy Sunday night legal drama Kingdom. This is the sort of telly I feel I should be watching in me jim-jams with a mug of a Ovaltine.

Set in a legal practice in the East of England, the problem is that the lead character is just so nice it beggars belief. Even when he’s not being particularly pleasant, he still manages to come across as lovable, which I find intensely irritating.

Actually it’s not too bad a show, this. Hermione Norris adds a bit of much needed edge as the lawyer's troubled sister, while Celia Imrie has always been one of my favourites and I just wish she had more to do in this. The real surprise has been Karl Davis as the Luke Skywalker to Fry’s Obi Wan. In his days in Emmerdale I thought he was truly terrible but he really scores here as the enthusiastic foil and gives Fry ample opportunity to flex his comedy muscles.

Nothing much wrong with this then but it feels safe and lacks the must-see feel that many US counterparts manage to develop.

Plod

Quite why the BBC felt the need to exploit the Holby brand for Tony Jordan’s new cop show is beyond me. If it works, expect Grange Hill to become Holby High, Gardener’s World to become Holby Garden Centre and Top Gear to become Holby Car Supermarket.

To be honest, I was expecting something a bit special here, but if you’ve seen City Central or MerseyBeat you’ve seen this. It’s a pity because I was hoping for something more akin to the brilliant The Cops.

In a nod to the brand, Charlie Fairhead made a blink-and-you’d-miss-it cameo, but from then on in this was drama by numbers, the maverick detective rowing with his ex-wife, getting up the nose of his po-faced boss and clashing with his by-the-book subordinate. I think the maxim here is very much to expect the expected.

The show is also graced with Kacey Ainsworth looking very out of place as the hard-nosed Inspector and the wonderful acting talents of Zoe Lucker. Got to be a winner then.

This is an initial run of eight but no doubt a longer run will follow and maybe it will find its own style over time, but at the moment it just seems dreadfully derivative.

Whowatch

No Doctor Who this week. Well no real show anyway but I did catch some animated action on Totally Doctor Who and very good it was too. They should make more of a song and dance about this because it could easily be passing under the radar of us overgrown kids.

If you tuned in at seven at Saturday at least you got to see Captain Jack as Any Dream Will Do continues to look far superior to its greasy rival. Quite why the Beeb thought that a singing competition would be a good choice to screen before a singing competition may forever remain a mystery but a mid-season break from time travelling probably wasn’t a bad idea.

Rob the Builder couldn’t fix it and found himself the latest to exit and while there’s undoubtedly some talent among the remaining Josephs, none of them seem to come across as a bona fide star.

Have you seen the Invisible Man

If you gave up on Heroes due the ponderous nature of some of the early episodes, you really need to get back on track because the show now moves along at a belting pace with shocks a plenty.

Where else are you going to see Christopher Eccleston playing the Invisible Man in the same place as a cameo from Mister Sulu from Star Trek? Sci-fi anoraks must be struggling to contain themselves.

This tale of humans with emerging super powers has plenty of twists and turns and some excellent performances, totally necessary given the barmy concept on which the show is based. Particularly creepy is Jack Coleman as the sinister Mister Bennet. I’ve not been so scared of a “Mister Bennet” since the days of Take Hart.

Having the most fun seems to be the brilliant Ali Larter who is revelling in the dual role of sweet Niki Sanders and her evil alter ego Jessica.

My only fear here is that this marvellous show will be cancelled before we reach a resolution.

Denise, Denise

I’m delighted to see Denise Osborne back on the cobbles in Coronation Street.

I hadn’t been looking forward to watching Ken and Deirdre’s relationship turn to dust yet again but the arrival of the hairdresser who messed with the affections of many of the Street’s men folk in heyday has been mouth watering and setting her toe to toe with the unsinkable Blanche was pure quality.

You can’t beat a good set-to in the Rovers and I was actually worried that Deirdre’s head was going to explode as she launched in a tirade of abuse at the woman she perceives as her nemesis.

It’s all a bit more interesting than Jerry’s shed or Kirk having the wrong dog doctored.

It’s a shame that Paul Connor seems to be heading for the exits because he’s shaping up to be the sort of believable bad guy that would grace any soap. The current storyline with him taking against lady of the night Leanne is full of unspoken menace.

I’m not dead, just sleeping

After an unbroken run of something like twenty-eight months, this column failed to appear in the last couple of weeks, for which faithful reader, I offer my apologies.

For those that were concerned for my welfare, don’t worry I’m fine and I’ll be fighting fit for the busy summer months ahead. Thanks for caring.