How are you doing today Alex?
"Not bad, I'm just struggling to find out if the new Conan movie is a two star or a three star. Some of it was great. Some of it was utterly atrocious, some of it was good, so I just can't decide. I'm in a bit of a difficult situation... but obviously not in the big scheme of things."
It's trickier than people think, the life of a reviewer! The five star challenge is always a conundrum...
"I think that's the challenge though. Some sites do .5s and so on. But what's that all about? What's a .5? The problem with giving something 3 stars is that it's the equivalent of going 'meh' and you leave people with nothing to go on. You either want to say, 'it's great' or 'it's rubbish', but it's not always the case."
What series are we up to with Rude Tube?
"Five is the answer. This fifth series starts later this month and it's our biggest one yet. Eight hours of new clips. I think it's 50 a show and 400 clips overall. Is that right? Yeah, 400 new clips."
Do you just turn up and read a script or are you heavily involved in the show?
"This has been going on since we wrapped on the last series. We started researching straight away. We have in the region of eight months to find a stack of new stuff. I don't sit in the office with the rest of the team, I sit in my pyjamas in my flat on my own. But I do write the show, I do sit and argue about what should go in it and no, I don't just turn up and read the autocue."
Are you someone who generally wastes time watching videos?
"Yeah, I have ended up in quite a fortunate position because I was doing it anyway. Then someone said to me, 'Oh, there's some money available if you want to be paid to do it anyway.' It was a fantastic turn of events. I was very pleased when this show burst onto the TV."
What are you finding funny online at the moment?
"One of the shows in the new series is devoted entirely to mash-ups because I'm really loving those right now. There's some real skill involved in the good ones. I'm enjoying the mash-ups. I think that's the opening episode of the series.
"Things like Cassetteboy and their mash-ups of The Apprentice and The One Show are unbelievable. I guess that's why people spend so much time watching these clips - because they want to laugh."
Why do people put so much time and effort into these videos?
"Why does an artist paint? Why does a writer write? It's the joy of being creative in some way. I mean, when did YouTube launch? It wasn't actually that long ago. There didn't use to be the opportunities available to do this sort of thing. But I think it's just the joy of doing it that inspires people, which is really exciting."
How dangerous do you think the YouTube generation is to people in the traditional TV industry?
"I certainly do. I think even bigger than that. I think it's put the wind up Hollywood a bit. The idea of streaming films online so soon after their cinematic release and the fact it's so easy to do... as opposed to getting dressed and going to the cinema. You can just sit there in your duvet on your sofa.
"3D was an attempt by Hollywood to create a movie-going experience that wasn't replicable on TVs and laptops at home. For me, there is still the joy of going to the cinema anyway. The greasy nachos and overpriced popcorn is all part of it.
But yeah, they created 3D and then scuppered themselves by making loads of s**tty conversions. Already people have realised, 'This is rubbish! It just makes the screen slightly darker.' I think Kung-Fu Panda 2 actually sold more tickets in 2D than 3D, which is terrifying for those people pushing 3D so hard.
"You can count on your hand the number of successful 3D movies, with Avatar and Transformers being the only ones off the top of my head that I believe worked. It hasn't lived up to the promise that Avatar showed when it burst onto the screen."
You've done DJ-ing, presenting, writing, comedy... what's your main love?
"I'm a movies man when it all boils down. I enjoy everything I do, but given the choice, I would spend every waking moment watching movies."
Would you love to do a big movies TV show or would that take too much time away from you actually watching films?
"That is an amazing question. I ask myself that everyday. If I didn't have to work, would I still work for the joy of working? I don't know the answer to that. When I do get time off I go into lockdown in the flat and watch six movies in a row. Would I get bored? I haven't yet. I don't know.
"In terms of a movie TV show, I do have something launching on Sky soon, but I don't know how much I can say about that. I think the thing is that movie programming, despite cinema's enduring popularity, doesn't rate as well as other shows. That's why there aren't so many on TV. When you say a big film show, I'm not sure how big a film show can ever be sadly."
What other projects are you working on?
"I'm working on a documentary right now about the future of science. It's about being disappointed that we're in 2011 and I was led to believe that 2011 would be a lot more exciting than it is. Robots, hover-cars, I'm disappointed! It's about how far away we are from those things. We visit some of the world's visionaries and crackpots and find that some people are pushing boundaries, even if it is just in theory."
They lied to us, Alex!
"They did, man! It's so disappointing. When was Blade Runner set? 2019? 2019, Blade Runner was set. We've got eight years to have flying cars, all animals extinct, replicants working in off-world colonies. Come on! It's never going to happen. They lied to us, Alex."
Rude Tube returns on Monday, September 12 at 10pm on Channel 4.
