20:59: Is that it? Apparently so. For my money, that was a pretty weak episode. It seemed a bit short on laughs and talent. But what do I know? I'm sure a zillion people still watched it. Anyway, leave your opinions on the best and worst acts of the night in the box below! Have a good evening!
20:56: He sings 'Maria' from West Side Story and he's got a pretty decent set of lungs on him. He's being lined up as the new Paul Potts/SuBo. But then again, maybe he's just another Jamie Pugh (remember him!)? I'll let you lot decide! Simon tells him to buck up his ideas and stop being so nervous, but it's still three strong yes votes from the judges.
20:55: The final act of the night is Christopher Stone. Aged 28 and an accountant, he still lives with his mum and dad. We are lead to believe by the comical backing music he could be a bit of a nerd. I'm guessing he will be good.
20:48: I'm not a gymnast expert, so I'm not going to do an Amanda/Simon/Piers and pretend that I know what I'm talking about. However, that was really well choreographed routine, which worked brilliantly with the music. Gymnastics always looks tough, but the routines can sometimes get bogged down in technique, which the amateur wouldn't see or care about. So credit to Spellbound for creating that exciting routine, which worked brilliantly on TV. A definite highlight from the first two shows.
20:45: Right, after that nonsense, we finally have some talent - a gymnastic group called Spellbound. Amanda Holden does her whole cougar schtick flirting with the young boys. They seem like nice kids. And boy can they do some impressive moves. The best act of the night by a significant margin. Not quite sure if they can win, but they are a breath of fresh air after some of the tat this evening.
20:40: After a quick ad-break breather, we now have an awful, but slightly bonkers drag Lady GaGa. The crowd love the bloke's enthusiasm. His singing is awful, but his finale includes him revealing a red bra underneath his jacket, which we are guessing is supposed to be funny and shocking. It isn't. Simon Cowell hates it, but Piers and Amanda (yawn) think it was 'entertaining'. Somehow, God knows how, the drag GaGa is through! Those rumours about a lack of quality acts this year, suddenly seem like they might be true. Come back SuBo! Heck, even come back 2Grand!
20:35: What did you think to The Arrangement? I wasn't won over personally. I don't get the fascination with pop/classical that Simon Cowell's TV shows/label seem so keen to push on the public.
20:30: The Arrangement play a mixture of classical and pop. And they have the poshest lead singer imaginable with the worst dad dance moves we've ever seen! Simon buzzes straight away, but everyone else falls in love with their enthusiasm. I'm not won over yet. All just seems a bit silly to me. Simon Cowell thinks they performed like a bunch of "drunks at a school disco". But Piers, Amanda and, more importantly, the crowd love it. And what's this...Simon has changed his mind. Possibly a BGT first. Cowell says he wants to drink what The Arrangement are drinking and puts them through!
20:28: Right, here's something a bit different. We've got a gaggle of posho students, who look like they should punting with some Pimm's rather than spending their time on ITV1 on a Saturday night. They are called The Arrangements.
20:25: It's animal circus time. We've got Star the pig (I'm a fan already), who won't come on the stage. He's more interested in chasing Ant & Dec. There is a snail race (don't even ask) and a girl doing gymnastics on the horse. The horse ends up summing up the first half of this episode of Britain's Got Talent, by pooping on the floor.
20:23: Laika - dressed in an terrible pink scarf - turns out to be a damp squib. Simon Cowell is in fits of titters. He desperately wants a "new Lassie", but Laika is most definitely not the answer.
20:22: Or maybe not! Laika - the non-guitar playing dog.
20:20: It's DOG WARS time! A rival for Chandi. Laika - who can play the guitar!
20:17 Amanda Holden just loves a sob story, doesn't she? "Do you think that story about the children's home was true," she coos. "That was sweet." I'm sure it wasn't that sweet for him Amanda. Forced to swallow his pocket money every week. Sounds pretty grim to me!
20:12: DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME KIDS! The Regurgitator is in town. His skill? He takes some coins and a billiard ball, swallows them, and then brings them back up on demand. Is it incredible - yes! Is it entertaining - I'm not sure?! Definitely worth a spot in the semi-finals, I reckon. Purely to see what he can swallow next time!
20:09: Well, there is the 'controversial' incident of the night. Tia with her t*ts. Didn't the Union Jack signs that blurred out her assets actually make it look even more rude? I think the most shocking thing was that Piers and Simon put her through!
20:07: Right, we can see where this is going. A string of silly awful acts. A girl on a pogo stick playing guitar (badly). A bodybuilder lifting weights and singing (badly). The highlight so far is Simon Cowell revealing that he used to own a pogo stick.
20:05: First up is Christine Wilkes in skin-tight gold leggings, a sparkly blue jacket and a Michael Jackson hat. Simon Cowell claims that she looks like "Michael Jackson's glove". Despite some nifty castanet playing, Christine is being shown the door. She was rubbish. Not even funny rubbish. Just pure rubbish.
20:01: They are in Manchester first up. Simon Cowell has a splendidly dull grey jumper. Piers is wearing a suit. And we've got a mad woman who claims to be a "triple threat". Who ever said that BGT was predictable.
19:59: Who is everyone looking forward to seeing tonight? Is it the Ronseal-titled The Regurgitator or perhaps this topless fire-eater that the tabloids have got all in a tizzy about? Leave your opinions in the box below during the show!
19:58: Hello! Have you had too much sun? Or can you simply not resist the lure of Britain's Got Talent? Whatever your reason for tuning in, DS is going to be here for the ride!