Rock Off Tommy

Double trouble

“Laugh me laugh, grim me a grin and then I know that we can win.??? So sang Cannon and Ball at the start of each of their wildly popular eighties TV shows. You really have to wonder just how much laughing and grinning they’ll be doing after a few days in the sodden jungle.

Certainly the smile has been wiped off David Dickinson’s face but his misery hasn’t been entertaining to watch at all. He was turned into the archetypal grumpy old man, which wouldn’t be such a problem if he were lacing his moans with a thread of humour. He isn’t.

His legendary tan seems to be fading too. At this rate he’ll end up looking relatively normal.

Tommy and Bobby’s arrival was accompanied by virtually everyone saying “Rock On Tommy??? and that along with a predictable red braces gag from Ant and Dec was about as exciting as their arrival got. I really really could have done without seeing Bobby’s naked torso while I was trying to eat my dinner. Not pleasant.

I suppose it could have been worse. Are we to expect The Krankies next year?

Carol and Jilly’s efforts at their bush tucker trial proved to be television gold. Who would have thought that watching Jilly trying desperately to swallow a penis could provide such excellent pre-watershed entertainment. Carol remains unphased by the whole experience and seems a throwback to the colonial days. You could just imagine her sitting on a porch sipping Pimms. That’s how cool she is.

Jilly would in normal circumstances seem to be to epitome of calmness but next to the immovable Thatch she seems positively excitable.

I’m really hoping that Jimmy’s dark side will emerge shortly. After his salt and pepper smuggling antics I’d high hopes that he’d have a few tricks up hi s sleeve but he’s just so unbearably nice at the moment. Jenny had a bit of wobbly moment and Salt Lake’s finest was right there to comfort her. With any other bloke, you might suspect an ulterior motive but not our Jim.

New respect

I was a bit hard on Sheree in my last column but she’s won new respect from me following her live trial. She got well stuck in to the first few hellholes and it wasn’t through a lack of effort or indeed bravery that she didn’t get any stars. Her final tally of five was a decent one and I don’t blame her at all for leaping out of the tank at the end. If someone threw a load of baby crocodiles at me, I m sure I’d move just as quickly.

Interestingly on the Frank Skinner Show, nutter Steve Irwin, the guy who thinks it’s a good idea to taunt big toothed creatures while holding a little baby, was shown a clip of Sheila Ferguson in a trial involving crocodiles (or are they alligators, dunno) and seemed to suggest it was rigged. That seemed fair comment. If I was a crocodile I’m not sure I’d want to risk sharing a swamp with the forthright Sheila.

What the clip did though was remind me just what a strong bunch of personalities they had out there last time. This year’s offering seems pale by comparison.