For the rest of the episode, she was mainly seen bouncing around, cleavage out, screaming about rats, smudging her waterproof mascara with tears over heights, and sporting outfits that basically involved nothing but two tiny tissues of blue paper shielding her nipples.
The lads' mag favourite and ex-soap star had Twitter in hysterics last night thanks to her jungle melodrama ("ohmygodohmygodohmygod"), the thrusting of her boobs into every cameraman's lens and her choice of bikinis.
If she doesn't end up doing 95% of the bushtucker trials, we'll eat a kangaroo's bum ourselves.
But maybe we're being harsh on Helen. Made in Chelsea's Hugo Taylor wasn't much tougher and appears to be falling apart at the seams after only one night in camp.
The lack of Ocado delivery, fold-down service and a sorbet course to accompany his rice and beans led to the resident posho opening up the floodgates to some tears. It was the most distressing experience for Hugo since mummy forgot to pack the croissants in the hamper for the annual Pimm's and Polo tournament. Rah!
Obviously, Nadine Dorries is going to get plenty of stick from the British pubic - she's a Tory, she's a politician. But beyond the debate about whether she should actually be wasting time on a reality show, she managed to not make a complete nitwit of herself last night.
Her first bushtucker trial against Flanagan this evening may change all of that though.
Elsewhere, Brian Conley just about managed to cling on to his dignity and refrained from yelling "It's a puppet" and wheeling out his '90s Septic Peg and Dangerous Brian sketches (last seen on a 99p DVD in a charity shop near you). But if he doesn't ease off the mugging to camera, it won't be long before we're hitting redial to make sure he gets locked in a box with some snakes.
Oh, and apparently washed-up, dodgy-haircut-sporting '80s popstar Limahl is getting ready to join the celebs in the jungle. Will he spice things up a bit? Or will he be too... shy, shy... we'll get our coat.
Which celebrity is getting your goat already in the jungle? Let us know your snap verdicts on this year's cast below!