Digital Spy

Search Digital Spy
12

Reality TV Blog

'Dancing on Ice' week five - live blog

By
Dancing on Ice: Philip Schofield, Ashley Roberts and Jason Gardiner.

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features

Yes, it's that time again on Sunday night, which can only mean one thing… Welcome to another Dancing on Ice live blog!

This week, there's no kooky 'theme' to the show. It's all about 'The Leveller' - a task which means that the stars will have to skate solo for 30 seconds.

And with Keith Chegwin's rib injury putting his performance in doubt and Gareth Thomas's foot causing him jip, there's worry aplenty in the DOI camp tonight. Quite literally anything could happen. Jason Gardiner might even liken someone's skating to having locked-in syndrome. Again.

So stick with Digital Spy as we see which couples pull it out of the bag, who face-palms the floor and what awful outfits are paraded about. It's going to be great…


20:57Anyway, thanks for joining Digital Spy this evening. Hope you - like I - are just pleased that some goodies (Beth, I'm looking at you) and some entertaining types (Joe!) are still in. Makes this all worth it. Don't forget to join us back here next week... G'night!


20:55Matt has (just about) survived to skate another week! X Factor floptacular favourite Shayne is being sent home, and he also has tears in his eyes. Must be gutting to know that even when the other guy falls over, you're still sent home.


20:52Phillip almost conveyed genuine shock, then!


20:51Don't cry, Matt, your guyliner will run something rotten!


20:50Matt's Scouse Brow is bordering on the offensive. He has also managed to wee on his chances in this competition by falling on his arms! What a fail.


20:48How much are the studio audience being paid to sound SO enthusiastic? Jeez.


20:47On the ice first is Shayne, who's dancing to 'Sweet Disposition'. Up against Matt, surely he doesn't have a chance...?


20:46Anyway, despite poor scores, Samia is through and Matt and Shayne are in the bottom two!


Dancing on Ice: Matt and Brianne in the skate-off.

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features

Dancing on Ice: Shayne Ward and Maria Filippov in the skate-off.

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features



20:45Just how much make-up is Matt wearing?! It looks like he's fallen face first into the cosmetics counter at Boots.


20:44Fourth safe is Joe (extra hooray!) and the fifth through is Luke. Looks as though that One Direction track worked a right old treat...


20:43First through is Keith, who shouts "THANK YOU" out to the camera like he's just won the lottery. Next safe is Beth, followed by Gareth...


20:41Unless they literally can't book anyone (aside from Little Mix) who want to sing on this show. Which is more than plausible.


20:40So it looks like we're not being treated to a special musical performance this week. A bit odd that Little Mix were thrown into the, er, mix last week in that case. Either do it or don't, producers!


20:37Karen wasn't at all convincing when she said that this is the best series yet. Even she doesn't believe that, so how can she expect us to?


20:35Poor Joe is just glad he's being laughed at and not being kicked in the face. Some people are far too easily pleased.


20:35Aww, Beth does seem lovely. Surely she'll win this series...


20:34These recaps are so unnecessary. Can we not just cut the results show to ten minutes and be over with it?


20:29Ahoy, everyone! Thanks for coming back for more DOI. So who did you vote for..? Ah, who am I kidding - you didn't vote! Neither did I.


19:47And if you can take the thrills, join us back here at 8.30pm for the results...


19:45Anyway, after all that, who was your favourite? How did you think 'The Leveller' went? And who will you be voting for?


19:44Christine just described the last hour and a half as "incredible". Was she watching another channel?


19:40Why are we treated to a full rundown of Joe's health issues every week? The words 'constipation' and 'prostate' should never ever be uttered on this programme...


19:39Jason sure as hell loves his egg euphemisms.


19:38For doing more stumbling than skating, Joe somehow manages a score of 18.0 - the same as Samia. Shocking!


Dancing on Ice: Joe Pasquale and Vicky Ogden

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features



19:37It's when watching Joe struggle to stand, let alone skate, on the ice to 'Hippy Hippy Shake' on primetime ITV telly, you begin to question what you're doing with your life.


19:36Next is our joint second favourite in this competition, Joe... Watching him fall over repeatedly in training is one of life's simple pleasures.


19:30Joe Pasquale has clearly taken his outfit inspiration from Cheryl Cole's ill-fated X Factor USA debut...


19:28She's a corking skater (her score of 30.5 shows it!). But not only that, Beth has the massive advantage of being partnered with someone we actually know. Even after over a month, I would struggle to name any other professionals on this.


19:26Up now is Beth, skating to some - surprise surprise - Emeli Sandé. Has one artist ever been so overplayed on TV?


19:24Jason just did a silent - yet horrendous - sort of ape impression. Be thankful if you missed that... My eyes were offended.


19:21That was sort of something and nothing. Good, but meh. Anyway, he gets a whopping 27.5 for something blandly beige.


Dancing on Ice: Gareth Thomas and Robin Johnstone

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features



19:20For the first time since this series started, Gareth is actually wearing some actual clothes! Amazing. He has also stolen Keith's hat. Though Keith wears it better, naturally.


19:19As Phillip keeps introducing this episode, it's almost like they're plugging it as a sequel. 'Dancing on Ice: The Leveller'. C'mon, bring back the Required Element! Or at least Props Week!


19:14


19:13Why is Christine talking to Samia again? We've heard from her, shush your chops. Does someone else we haven't seen or heard tonight want to pipe up?


19:12Judge Ashley has more than a bit of the Princess Fionas about her this evening.


Dancing on Ice: Luke Campbell and Jenna Harrison

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features



19:11A man of few words, is Luke. Bless.


19:10His solo skate is pretty top notch, although I'm generally having issues with this thing being called 'The Leveller'. It should be called 'The Exposer' or something, seeing as it's highlighting their true ability. Although maybe that sounds a bit... flasher-esque. He gets 23.5!


19:08Luke is next on the ice, dancing to One Direction's 'Little Things'. Is this some subliminal way to get young girls to vote for him?


18:58Up next is 'Enders star Matt, who is doing an awful Natalie Portman impression while having a few deceased crows strapped to his shoulders. Dancing on Ice is not, repeat not, the outlet for highbrow ballet-esque performances. Anyway, he gets 28.0...


Dancing on Ice: Matt Lapinskas and Brianne Delacourt

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features



18:55They're old enough to be your folks, but blimey they've still got it! Did they have to do a mid-show performance to either a) kill time b) up the overall skating quality in this show c) both? I can't be sure.


18:53Whoop, it's T&D time. It's been aaages since they've done a proper DOI performance. There's a kind of creepy A-Ha 'Take on Me' feel to this, but I'm willing to let that go because they're bloody good.


18:51


18:46When Jason speaks, it seems obligatory for the camera to plonk on Karen's face - despite the fact all she's doing is a big old smile! Five weeks in, and it feels as though we need some massive, headline-making controversy. Any ideas as to what they could do to liven everything up?


Dancing on Ice: Shayne Ward and Maria Filippov

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features



18:44Easily the most competent solo skating of the night so far is awarded to Shayne. Sadly he also takes away the prize for worst clothes. Mind you, any man who goes on national TV wearing a pink diamante belt has to have balls. For his efforts, he gets a total of 23.5!


18:41Robin does his best to plead to the nation to vote for him, begging the public to save Cheggers from the bottom two. On his score, Keith is flabbergasted. Is this enthusiasm for being on DOI genuine? In all my years I've never seen someone so happy to be on this programme.


18:39Keith leaves the ice with an overall total of 21.0 - incredibly, beating one of the show's favourites in Samia! Should we be heading to the bookies to put a bet on Cheggers? Everyone laughed at Eddie the Eagle to start with, but, you know...


18:37If anyone wants to do a Zorro remake, Keith is definitely your man! Shame about the naff song choice, but hey, what can you do?


Dancing on Ice: Keith Chegwin and Olga Sharutenko

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features



18:36Poor Human Egg Keith is turning into Humpty Dumpty. Falling apart at the edges...


18:34Hmm, the big 'P' product placement symbol comes up at the beginning of every Dancing on Ice episode. What exactly are they promoting? Aside from thoroughly disgusting satin shirts, obviously.


18:31Not sure if this viewer's comment is ironic or not. I get the feeling it isn't.




18:30Pip managed to make himself laugh with a quip about Samia and Sylvain not being apart for very long. How daft does he think viewers are? Has anyone actually bought into their love affair nonsense?


18:28Jason says he can't put his comments delicately, adding it was 'remedial'. Meanwhile, Karen's positive comment is that Samia 'got through it'. Praise indeed.


Dancing on Ice: Samia Ghadie and Sylvain Longchambon

© Matt Frost/ITV/Rex Features

Samia Ghadie and Sylvain Longchambon on 'Dancing on Ice'



18:26For Samia, who's dancing to Little Mix and is wearing an outfit even they wouldn't dare wear, her 'Leveller' was all about the arms. Just arms, arms and more arms. Thrilling stuff, I think you'll agree. The judges give her a dismal 18.0 for her efforts.


18:23Up first is Showmance Samia. Kudos has to go to her for doing a headbanger in week four, but the cracks are starting to show for her... And that's not just because everyone has just thrown fire all over the ice!


18:20It's basic physics. Don't put fire near ice!


18:19This music montage about 'The Leveller' is, in a word, epic! And, in typical DOI style, completely over-dramatic. Haven't come to expect anything less though, really.


18:17Good evening, everybody! Welcome to another Dancing on Ice blog. Hope you enjoyed the weather and the Continental Winter tyres ad. The night is probably going to go downhill from there, so, you know...

You May Like

Comments

Loading...