Drinking Games: 'The X Factor' auditions

The X Factor auditions come to an end this weekend with a double bill of the ITV1 talent show on Saturday and Sunday. Soon the hopeful singers will be put through their paces at boot camp, whittled down to a Final 12 at the judges' houses and made to perform for our delectation every Saturday night. To celebrate, DS has come up with an auditions round drinking game which should have even grumpy Simon Cowell breaking into the vodka.

Rule 1: When one of the judges drops the statement, "This could change someone's life FOREVER!", down a shot. Have a second if you happen to known which pub carpark Leon Jackson is performing in this weekend.

Rule 2: When we are told by Dermot that the auditions have been going really badly - this is demonstrated by Cheryl Cole with her head in her hands and Simon grumbling backstage - down a pint when the last audition of the day, surprise surprise, happens to be a stonker. Expect Simon to explain what's happened in layman's terms for idiotic viewers by adding afterwards: "You are why we keep coming back to Cardiff/Scotland/Birmingham."

Rule 3: Each time we are given flashing, super-quick, edited clips of screaming, Beatlemania-esque fans camped outside the arenas/in the live audience waiting for Cowell to give them a cheeky wink - chug some whiskey from the bottle

Rule 4: If any contestant claims that this is their "biggest moment" and reveals that they need to win the contestant for a dead relative or their poverty-stricken mother/child, you have our permission to open the vodka.

Rule 5: When Cheryl 'The Nation's Sweetheart' Cole makes a comment about loving Northern accents, tuck into the red wine you've been saving for a special occasion.

Rule 6: Chug some alcopops whenever you get a clip of Louis bobbing his head around and clapping like a seal during one of the 'comedy' rubbish acts.

Rule 7: Any time there is a mention of percentages, have a hefty glass of cider. This will either be contestants giving the magical 110% or the judges claiming that we've only seen 60% of what the contestants can deliver.

Rule 8: If Simon Cowell's eye light up and he gives his money-in-the-bank wink to one of the better singers, pour yourself some gin.

Rule 9: Knock back some rum when you hear any Mariah or Whitney, whether it be the backing track or a contestant's song.

Rule 10: If Dannii Minogue is given more than 45 seconds of air time across the hour, finish all you remaining drinks.

This feature is intended to entertain only. Digital Spy does not advocate binge drinking.