We started with athletes putting their bodies on the line and pushing their lives and families to one side in the pursuit of one moment of golden perfection. Now we've got a bloke from Nandos whose career highlight was serving Peri Peri chicken to Pixie Lott.
After the joyous weeks of Olympic madness at London 2012, The X Factor is a huge slap in the face for anyone who thought the whole country may be changed by a couple of people running, rowing and cycling fast.
Will a generation be inspired to put down their remotes and find their inner sports hero? Probably not. Why bother when there's 75 minutes of fanfare, melodrama, Cookie-monster impressions and Louis Walsh on the box every weekend?
The main four judges took a back seat this week, rarely breaking a sweat. Nicole and Tulisa duked it out to showcase who could be the "feisty one", but at the moment it's a score draw.
Gary Barlow appeared calmer, warmer and less bedraggled than the man who finished last year's series, but he still knows how to knock out an X Factor drinking game cliche ("That audition was out of this world") at the drop of a big ballad.
Meanwhile, Louis Walsh was on auto-pilot. He must be saving his mad-as-a-box-of-frogs act for the Live Shows.
Mel B made an impact as this week's guest judge, lashing out at an 82-year-old man ("I nearly fell asleep") and a nerdy, twitchy teen ("you're irritating") who confessed to having a cardboard cutout of Scary Spice in his youth. Never meet your heroes, kid.
With a dirty cackle and uncontrollable tongue, she'd have been a tasty full-time addition to the show, but the prospect of letting her and Louis loose on a Saturday night together every weekend was probably the deciding factor for ITV.
What about the acts? Apparently there was only 11 minutes of actual singing in the show, so it won't take long to whiz through the action.
ASDA worker Jahmene had about as much sparkle as a dead hamster, but he was sweet, he was nervous, he works in ASDA - we'll give him a second chance.
Twitchy Millhouse-esque nerd Curtis was a curious cat. Awkward, bumbling and unglamorous, he couldn't be less X Factor unless he went on there waltzing with Bruce Forsyth. However, his acoustic reworking of 'Candyman' displayed a wit and imagination never usually seen by X Factor acts. We'll keep our eye on him.
Teenager Ella was gifted the much sought after finale slot and she represented a new twist to this year's show. Acts can have managements deals and sing their own songs. The 16-year-old took full advantage, belting out one of her self-penned tracks about her late granddad.
With her dad weeping in the wings, even the toughest old hacks in the press screening room were complaining about "a bit of dust in my eye" as she hit those final big notes. When you're swept up in the swooping camera shots, Take That backing music and gushing praise from the judges, it's hard to get a balanced view of exactly how good she truly was. But its safe to say, it will be something of a shock if she doesn't make the live rounds. Nobody want another Gamu on their hands!
Of course, we can't let this review pass without passing verdict on the Zoe Alexander fiasco. The judges and producers were on the front foot at the press screening, insisting that there was no stitch up of the Pink impersonator. And I'm personally inclined to believe them. While the producers may have leaned on Zoe to do a Pink number, it was ultimately her call and nothing excuses that violent breakdown at the end.
However, I can't have been the only viewer who felt uncomfortable watching somebody losing the plot on primetime telly. This wasn't a spoilt tantrum, it was unnerving and it was ugly. Did ITV really not have enough quality of entertaining acts to fill the show with that they had to resort to airing the humiliation of a girl with obvious temper and character issues?
Not all the X Factor auditions make it to air, so it was only because the producers deemed Zoe's antics 'entertaining' and 'amusing' that they decided to show it. This isn't Big Brother, where smut and grime are part and parcel of watching people live in real time. This was an edited package designed to get laughs out of something very sad.
The biggest shame is that the rest of the show was hugely entertaining. Classic X Factor. Daft. Wonderful. Emotional. Brilliantly filmed. I just couldn't help but come away feeling a little bit grubby.
What did you think of show one? Share your verdict below!