We're talking about ourselves and those of you playing along with our Fantasy X Factor at home, of course. We're putting our powers of prediction to the test once again this weekend as the marathon reality show reaches its quarter finals. Think you can better us? Make your own guesses in the comments below!
Our points so far:
We were so exhausted by the massive game that is X Factor that we had to call a timeout last week. Thank goodness we did, because it spared us having egg on our faces for completely failing to predict the departure of Ella. Like everyone else we were absolutely blindsided by a result so shocking and unjust that its only redeeming element is putting Tulisa in a mardy mood for the rest of the series.
The sole points we harvested in the previous week came from correctly predicting the boyband face-off and the elimination of District3. Remember them? No? Oh...
Total points so far: 500
This week's elimination: 100 points
When the apparent winner-in-waiting goes out in sixth place, it's fair to say that literally nobody is safe. You'd think this would make the next X Factor elimination tricky to predict, but actually we reckon the bottom two - and therefore the elimination - is pretty set in stone.
Here's our reasoning - Jahmene Douglas and Chris Maloney have never been in the bottom two so far, which means they're probably hovering around the top of the leader board each week and are relatively comfortable. The popularity of Maloney has flummoxed many, but the fact of the matter is people are clearly voting for him and even more of them will be picking up the phone after the backlash to his survival.
James Arthur can also rest easy. Last week's result was a major wake-up call and we've had so many people stressing how important it is to vote for your favourites that we imagine he'll soar straight to #1 the second the lines open, and stay there. That leaves Union J and Rylan Clark, both two-time bottom two-ers, out in the cold.
Union J will probably have the least votes if there's no sing-off or it goes to Deadlock again, but we reckon Simon Cowell won't risk having both Maloney and Rylan in the final four. He'll allow Rylan to be sacrificed, the judges will comply and the Essex eccentric will finally be packing his bags...
Gary Barlow - to s**te or not to s**te: 50 points
Earlier this week Gazza Bazza caused a bit of a stir by bringing up his hatred of Rylan at a gig in London. The panellist reportedly encouraged audience members to boo at him and told them: "I might have to be honest on Saturday night and go, 'Rylan, I thought that was absolute s**te'."
Well, Barlow, tomorrow we'll have points riding on whether you follow through on your pledge to give the most blunt critique ever seen on The X Factor. Do you think Barlow will drop the 'S' bomb or will he wuss out? We're guessing he'll keep schtum - he'd get a major telling off from producers and he's already upset Rylan enough this week with that very same remark. Plus, he's an OBE now and we don't think the Queen would approve of that sort of language.
Still, the show will run past the watershed tomorrow and each act is going to perform twice, so there's a good chance Rylan will be singing at least once when swears are allowed. And to keep it sporting, we'll also accept any form of childish cop-out from Barlow, eg "Rylan, that performance was absolute shitaki mushrooms" or "Rylan, after that performance I want you to go fucoffee".
This week's cliché: Possible 150 points
On tomorrow's show all five remaining acts will be performing one Motown classic and one ABBA track. Now, we know Rylan already loves a medley, but when he's able to get his hands on something big and camp like ABBA there's not a chance in heck that he'll limit himself to one song.
We think that he'll cover a minimum of three of their tracks, so pick a trio of ABBA songs you could see him screeching on Saturday and you'll get 50 points for each one that appears. We're going to play it relatively safe by selecting three of the boldest, most fabulous numbers in Benny and Bjorn's back catalogue - 'Mamma Mia', 'Does Your Mother Know' and, predictable though it may be, 'Gimme, Gimme, Gimme'. On a side note (boasting no points), what are the chances of Maloney doing some troll baiting by belting out 'The Winner Takes It All'?
What are your predictions for this week's X Factor? Leave your comments below!