They obviously haven't heard of Digital Spy's Fantasy X Factor game, which is so entertaining we've had to follow Nicole Scherzinger and start making up words to describe it. Read on for this week's fanbrillcredible predictions...
Our points from last week:
So we emerged from last week's X Factor victorious, having got all three of our predictions correct. But to be honest, it feels like a bit of a hollow victory. Rylan was the natural pick for elimination and even though we correctly plumped for him singing 'Mamma Mia' before exiting, we did kind of give ourselves three chances by wrongly assuming he'd go for an ABBA medley.
Also, guessing that Gary Barlow would not brand the Essex crooner "absolute s**te" as he threatened was obvious since it's been established G-Bar is all mouth in the real world and no trousers behind the X Factor panel (figuratively). Still, points is points - and we've got an extra 200 of them. Take that, suckers!
Total points so far: 700
This week's elimination: 100 points
There may only be four people left in The X Factor, but this week's elimination is by no means a sure thing. Aside from the cuddly little Jahmene Douglas, we'd say anyone could feasibly be heading home on Sunday. 'What makes you say that?' you've probably asked. Well...
Providing you don't hold all your debates about popular culture with pre-teen girls, you've probably already established Union J as the least popular of the semi-finalists. Need we remind you, they've landed in the bottom two three times, the first occasion being in just the fourth week. We'd be ushering them off the stage right now if it weren't for the sympathy votes they'll likely receive after teetering so close to the edge last time.
Instead, Christopher Maloney could be sent back to the cruise ship. For the cheeseburger to go from, presumably, first or second place to fourth would be quite a dramatic fall from grace, but with The X Factor getting down to the wire there may be more people than Liverpudlians and grandmas picking up the phone.
While there's a strong chance Cowell and his cronies may finally get their wish and chop off Maloney, they could also be left horrified if the most credible contestant left in the series, James Arthur, gets the boot. Yes, last Saturday he gave a performance of 'Let's Get It On' so competent that he managed to trick the ladies of Britain into thinking he's a sex symbol, but surely anyone who finished in fifth place a fortnight ago can't really have a fanbase as substantial as is being made out? It's a risk, but screw it, it's the semi-finals and we wanna live on the edge - James Arthur is our pick for elimination.
The controversy factor: 100 points
It's already been confirmed that there'll be no sing-off for the semi-finals. Providing Chris Maloney doesn't come second to last, in which case we wouldn't be surprised to see Dermot use his mind-erasing presenting powers, the judges will have little to do throughout the entire of this weekend's two-and-a-half-hour shebang.
Unlike the rest of us at home or will.i.am on The Voice, they can't simply go on Twitter whenever the show starts to dip. They'll be bored, restless, looking to make their own entertainment - perfect conditions for some top notch outrageous ranting.
We'll be dishing out 100 points to anyone who can correctly predict which judge will make the most controversial comment of the night in a bid to make sure their voices are still heard. Maybe Tulisa will finally let loose on Maloney, though realistically she's just riding out the rest of the series until she can bugger off and start Na Na Nie!-ing with Dappy and Fazer.
No, we reckon the biggest conflict will be between Louis and Gary, who seem to have it in for Maloney and Union J respectively. Neither are above making iffy, personal digs, so the winner will likely be decided by who makes the most ludicrously inappropriate comment - and when it comes to ludicrous comments, only a fool would bet against Louis Walsh.
Cliché of the week: 100 points
Right, X Factor, we've got a bone to pick with you. 'A song for you' and 'the song to get you to final' are not proper themes. How are we supposed to know what music has deep meaning for James Arthur, a man whose lips are tighter than a Simon Cowell jumper? You're killing us here!
Regardless of what the final four will be pulling out, we're sure the opportunity to perform a song to which they have some kind of emotional connection in front of millions of people will lead to just a few tears. Who will be the first to pretend they just have something in their eye?
Jahmene has gone through more pain and suffering than most of us could even contemplate and touching upon this, as he presumably will, is bound to stir up a few emotions. But in all likelihood, his proud mentor/notorious ocular leaker Nicole Scherzinger will be a wreck before he's even reached the chorus.
What are your predictions for the X Factor semi-final? Leave your comments below!