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'X Factor' Movies Week review: The inevitable girl group early exit

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Miss Dynamix leave the competition.

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Miss Dynamix leave the competition.


Little Mix have a lot to answer for. There was a time when girl groups knew their place on X Factor. Miss Frank, Kandy Rain, Hope, Bad Lashes. They all knew that they were merely making up the numbers and that an early Live Shows departure was guaranteed.

Then Little Mix came along, spoiled it all by being rather good at the whole being fun popstars malarkey and suddenly every cobbled-together-at-Boot-Camp collective believe that stardom might be just around the corner.

And so we come to Miss Dynamix, a female three-piece who fitted together like a jam, ham and pineapple sandwich. Never in the entire history of pop have three people possessed such a minuscule amount of chemistry.

Miss Dynamix return after last weeks absence.

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Miss Dynamix return after last weeks absence.



Featuring the pregnant one, the tall one and the one that never talked, they were always a walking elimination waiting to happen and after being handed a bye last week, this weekend was a mere formality.

The group's forgettable take on Gabrielle's 'Dreams', one of the few decent song choices on the night, had about as much musical merit as a beggar blowing a penny whistle outside Brixton tube.

Dermot O'Leary grabbed the one that never talked to ask about her feelings on losing the Flash Vote. "I'm speechless," she said, reluctantly. Honestly, you couldn't script this stuff.

Movies Week was kicked off on Saturday night by Rough Copy, one of the few acts to play by the rules and perform a song actually associated with a movie, rather than one that just happened to have briefly appeared in the soundtrack to one film in the full history of cinema.

Rough Copy

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Rough Copy on 'The X Factor'



The trio's stage attire is still utterly baffling (shorts in October? In this weather?), but their cover of 'Everything I Do (I Do It For You)' stretched them further ahead of Kingsland Road in the Groups category and pins them up as Gary Barlow's hope of victory.

Following Rough Copy's performance, Louis Walsh once again used the line: "There has to be a gap in the market for a group like this." When he says "this", we think he means "black".

Second up on Saturday was Sam Callahan. A boy with abs you'd kill for and a voice that in return could quite possibly kill you. Or at the very least, question your will to live.

Some advice for any singer, on X Factor or otherwise. If your vocals sound at all similar to a constipated dog, don't try covering a U2 track. Take heed Sam, take heed.

Sam

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Sam Callahan



Sharon Osbourne managed to distract slightly from Sam's massacring of the track by barking at Louis Walsh about the song choice not being from a real movie. "It's meant to be Hollywood week, not Irish," she cackled, as she dismissed Ben Stiller's 1994 rom-com Reality Bites with the sort of disdain not seen since Louis Walsh tried to erase Gummo's IMDB page all those years ago.

Luckily, Sam's dad was also backstage in Caroline Flack's Warehouse of Doom, brushing aside any suggestion that his son might be vocally challenged. The proud father revealed that they had received a "couple of dozen" positive tweets about his son's performance, so it must have been great. To be fair, that number isn't far off X Factor's ratings this series, so it's not to be sniffed at as market research.

One act the judges weren't afraid to shower with compliments was Greggs' finest pastie muncher Hannah Barrett. After taking Nicole for a feast of Steak Bakes in her VT, she warbled her way through Adele's 'Skyfall'.

Nicole Scherzinger and Hannah Barrett eat sausage rolls together

© Rex Features / Tom Dymond

Nicole Scherzinger samples a sausage roll



I wouldn't have described it as a bad performance, but the judges' comments ("Voice is unstoppable!", "Magnificent!", "30 out of 10!") bordered on the surreal, they were so glittering with praise.

The chasm between the judges' comments and her actual performance might explain Hannah's spot in the bottom two on Sunday night. The fact she couldn't even crack a smile while the judges were comparing her to the Second Coming can't have helped her cause either.

Next on stage was 16-year-old Nicholas McDonald. He's only 16 so he doesn't know how to use a washing machine. We also know he's 16 because he didn't know what love was or who Spandex Belly were. We also knew he was 16 because he performed on Saturday night in a dreadful jacket that he must have borrowed from his dad.

Louis Walsh told us not to write Nicholas off because he's 16. Sharon Osbourne checked out how old he was. "16," he replied. Gary Barlow told him to stop trying to be like an adult and act like a 16-year-old.

Nicholas McDonald

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Nicholas McDonald. Apparently, he's only 16.



Do you know what, I think the judges and producers wanted to get something across with Nicholas this week. We just can't put our finger on what it might be.

Abi Alton vowed in her VT this week that she would "come back fighting". In the end she "went home weeping". After a ghostly cover of 'Moon River', which featured the singer precariously balanced on a chair, with all the poise of a drunk otter, she ended up blubbing as Sharon Osbourne stuck the boot in.

Abi is upset by the judges comment.

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Abi is upset by the judges comment.



"People will be putting the kettle on when you come on," said Osbourne, which was a bit harsh, because you could say that for most of this series of X Factor. Sales of teabags are soaring this autumn.

Abi may be struggling to keep viewers interested, but Sam Bailey had a more personal and pressing problem during her cover of 'My Heart Will Go On'. It was two problems to be exact. Putting it politely, the Mitchell Brothers came out to play at the weekend.

Sam Bailey

© Jonathan Hordle/Thames/REX

Sam Bailey on 'The X Factor'



"Ma-chest-cicle," said Nicole. "I hope Simon Cowell is watching this show, he needs to sign your bum right now," added Sharon Osbourne, who was getting her anatomy all mixed up. We're pretty certain it wasn't Sam's bum that will have caught Simon's eye.

After being in the sing-off last week, Kingsland Road returned to their old stomping ground of, erm, Kingsland Road. The guys walked around the streets pointing at nothing in particular and playing pool with each other and generally larking around with absolutely nobody. Anybody would think that East London wanted nothing to do with the curly-topped boyband.

Kingsland Road perform 'Pretty Woman'.

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Kingsland Road perform 'Pretty Woman'.



The five-piece gave an aggressive (I think that was supposed to be passionate) performance of 'Pretty Woman' and were then compared to a shower of cheese and the Jersey Boys. That will do their Dalston street cred the world of good.

Luke Friend, not one to get bogged down by one single notable feature, talked about his hair a lot again this week. The shaggy pube-haired teen got his locks washed this week, which sadly went to prove that you can't polish a turd, as his barnet still looked bloody terrible.

Vocally at least, Luke is improving and his take of 'Kiss From A Rose' was a pleasant surprise, which suggests he could go much further than most predicted at the start of the series.

Luke impresses the judges.

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Luke impresses the judges.



Rounding off the weekend was Tamera with her version of Beyoncé's 'Listen'. A song rarely heard on The X Factor. Ahem.

Tamera remains in a different league to the rest of this year's acts, but the Great British public don't tend to like a favourite, so her chances of winning are pretty slim.

Tamera Foster

© Tom Dymond/Thames/REX

Tamera Foster on 'The X Factor'



Gary Barlow dented her chances further by claiming that she sounded like an impersonator rather than a singer. Apparently this show where people cover other people's pop songs isn't a karaoke competition. Who knew?

It's quite funny really because in eight months' time, the best audience 90% of these acts can hope for is six drunkards down Lucky Voice on karaoke Fridays. And even then, Sam Callahan still won't be the best singer in the room.

What was your verdict on Movies Week? Who is your favourite act? Let us know below!

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