Instead, we have red-hot bookies favourites Charlotte & Jonathan, French stunt act Cascade, comedy organist Graham and David Walliams's favourite pals The Showbears to enjoy.
Who will triumph? Who will fall flat and get buzzed? Who will end up in a teary, snotty mess on Ant & Dec's shoulders?
Find out at 7.30pm tonight when Digital Spy will be live-blogging all the action from ITV1's biggest entertainment show.