'The Apprentice' Episode 7: Live Blog

After last week's underwhelming trash challenge, Lord Sugar has wheeled out a corker of a task this week for the rag-tag candidates. Teams Logic and Venture must design and sell ad space in their own freesheet premium magazines. One team go for a lads' mag, the other goes for the Over-60s market. Who will win? Who will be fired? Reality Bites will be the first with the answers as we offer commentary and our own (self-proclaimed) expertise on the latest business blunders and boardroom bust-ups.

22:08: Right, we're switching over to catch dashing young Glenn on You're Fired on BBC Two. Nick Hewer's on the panel, so it should be a belter. Next week's task is based in France, harking back to the classic Selling Cheese To The French disaster of series three. If it's half as good as that, we're in for a brilliant episode. We'll be here as usual, same time, same place!

22:02: So do you guys think that was the right decision? I think Jim should have gone, but I'm happy he's still there. He's single handedly holding this series together now with his silver tongue. Where do you guys stand on Jim? Genius or King blagger?

21:58: Who's fired? GLENN WARD IS FIRED. A bit of a surprise that one. Shugs says he doesn't want to work with an engineer. A bit of a lame reason after all of that. He clearly wants to toy with Jim for a bit longer. "I've forgotten more bulls**t than you'll ever know," he blasts at the Irishman.

21:54: Jim's certainly packs a punch when it comes to the charm offensive. Glenn's crossed him in the boardroom, blasting him for being controlling. He'll probably wake up with a horse's head in his bed for those comments.

21:52: You know if it was Jim that shot Bambi's mum, he'd get away with it as well. "He always covers his arse," says Nick, wrinkling his nose up at Shugs. Nick getting a bit too close and personal with the candidates again. Sorry, excuse our childishness.

21:50: He's a got a silver tongue has Jim lad. We'll give him that. "I was the Project Manager that they loved," he coos. What a character. He also gives some analogy about Susan being a "meek mouse" and like "Bambi". It was Jim who shot Bambi's mum. I just know it.

21:46: I spoke too soon. Jedi Jim is back in full flow. A drink of tea in Losers' Cafe has sparked up his powers. Don't look in his eyes Shugs. He's somehow managing to shift blame on anyone and everyone other than himself. It was his idea, he promoted the name, he failed to secure deals. But apparently it's Susan's fault. And Glenn's. And Zoe's as well.

21:41: No surprises as the results come in. Covered may be a bit 1995 and in a crowded market, but at least it's a proper concept. Hip Replacement is just bloody awful. A magazine for pensioners with articles about sorting our insurance? Have Jedi Jim's powers left him? Dreadful stuff. A big defeat in the boardroom as Covered secure a £60,000 exclusivity deal. Jim, Susan, Zoe and Glenn are back in the infamous Losers' Cafe.

21:37: So, does Lord Sugar need a Hip Replacement or does he want to "blow his load" on Covered. Boardroom time. Nick Hewer is moaning about the Over 60s idea. "One of them wanted to call it Coffin Dodgers," he winced. To be fair, I'd have gone for Coffin Dodgers over Hip Replacement. At least it makes me smile.

21:34: Natasha is pushing hard with her lads' mag Covered. "Lads want to impress girls with money." Half expecting her to burst out with the line, "Lads love t*ts. I've got t*ts, check them out. Phwoar!" An ad man suggests that Loaded may have already cornered lads' mag Covered's ideas over 15 years ago.

21:29: Jim is struggling to get his team onboard with Hip Replacement. I think he may have lost most of them with the original concept. Any stragglers left, he shed when he picked that title. He's having to do his own pitches and the advertisers aren't biting. For some reason, they consider the title Hip Replacement ridiculous, awful, unsellable to clients and a p*ss take. I can't fathom why.

21:24: It's time for the teams to pitch their ideas to big wigs in the ad industry. Tom and Natasha are leading the first pitch for the lads' mag Covered. Watching Tom attempting to flog a raunchy lads mag is like watching your dad do Dizzee Rascal karaoke. Embarrassing.

21:17: So whose idea do you think is the most ridiculous? Glenn and Susan are trying to get a couple of 60-somethings jumping around for photos. Nick Hewer looks like he's getting flashbacks to piggyback races he used to have with Margaret Mountford. However, ladette Natasha and lad Leon are attempting to out-do them with the mens' freesheet Covered by running around the streets of London asking blokes "how they blow their load". Classy.

21:13: Jim's team are Susan, Zoe and Glenn. More leftfield than the lads' mag, this group of numpties are going for an Over 60s magazine. Suggestions for names include "coffin dodger" and "hip replacement". Oh, but they're silly names, at least they haven't gone for any of them. Oh wait a minute... they have. They are calling it Hip Replacement.

21:09: Natasha is in charge of Helen, Tom, Leon and Melody and they are doing a lads' mag. Natasha is doing her best Danny Dyer impression, snorting phrases like "phwoar", "bird", "wonga" and "ave it" repeatedly. She's stuck in 1996 and I half expect her to burst into '3 Lions' at any moment while waving a can of Stella in the air.

21:05: Shugs gets the candidates to Fleet Street. He then plays a human game of chess for no apparent reason. "Leon swap teams. Melody swap. Leon flip back again. Jim move to Venture. Natasha swap twice. Tom go to Logic. Leon go back again..."

21:04: Lord Sugar wakes up the candidates at 5.45am. Melody is amazingly well dressed for that time in the morning. Does she sleep in a shirt and dress? Is she a vampire?

21:00: What are we thinking this week people? Surely Jedi Jim is a banker to reach the interview stage? Like Stuart Baggs last year it would be wrong to fire him before then. Can Wonderwoman Helen keep on winning? Is it possible for Tom to get his head any further up Lord Sugar's buttocks?

20:58: Business clichés, shirts, ties and power suits at the ready people - it's Apprentice time.

20:57: Are you watching In With The Flynns as well? I feel your pain. I really, really do.

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