We don't know where to begin (oh my God) or how to even start going over what this episode could mean for the future of the show, so let's just go back to basics - back to the opening of the instalment.
We meet Jonas (Mark Heap) - a dodgy medium who's holding a seance in the community centre. Poor Simon, who's just walking past, ends up getting pointed out and told that someone called Sally "wants to know why [he] did it". Yes, we're talking probation worker Sally, folks!
In a truly unsettling and creepy scene - reminiscent of countless horror movies - shadows whoosh past Simon until he sees Sally in the flesh (or ectoplasm, I guess.) She looks at him before leaving through a door, so of course he chases after her. It's enough to make you shiver.
Naturally, he goes to tell the others he thinks he's seen a ghost, and Sally creepily watches from afar as he puts his arm around Alisha. And later, Simon's even more concerned when he has a flashforward and sees Sally undressing and kissing him, saying he "owes" her for killing her (I guess that's fair?).
Anyway, back in the present Simon insists that he'd never hurt Alisha, but since he won't explain why he's suddenly babbling about it, all it does is make Alisha suspicious.
Meanwhile, Kelly discovers that Seth's still dealing powers - despite the whole fiasco of his zombie ex-girlfriend - and she's not happy about it. Actually, she's so unhappy about it that she throws a chair at him. So their romance isn't going too well either. Luckily, Seth sees sense later and vows never to trade any powers again - he doesn't want to lose Kelly. In fact, he's got some money stashed away - why don't they go on that holiday? Aww.
Back at the community centre, Simon's in the bathroom when Sally appears. She explains that Jonas brought her back and says that she thinks she's come back for Simon (apologising for betraying him while she's at it). Yikes! She urges him not to tell the others she's seen him, though, and when Alisha asks who he was talking to he has to pretend it was himself.
Later, the group confronts Jonas and he admits that he can bring people back from the dead after the storm - before, he was just a fraudulent psychic. He explains that the spirits often have unfinished business before offering to try to summon Sally again. Unfortunately, he brings back someone else entirely - Rachel, the creepy evangelical girl from series one who brainwashed them all and ended up falling to her death. (Unsurprisingly, Jonas makes a quick exit.)
Anyway, Rachel's a bit annoyed - turns out there's no God, so she basically wasted her life on Earth being a goodie two shoes. Well, Alisha and Kelly point out that she's not got anything to lose by living a bit now that she's dead (ho ho ho). Soon, Rachel's glugging down vodka and trying to kiss Curtis.
But it's not all fun and games - Kelly's a bit shocked when she sees original probation worker Tony (yes, the one that tried to kill them all). Understandably she runs away and warns the others, but Tony breaks into the community centre anyway. Luckily, it turns out Tony's not a psycho anymore (unluckily, he has to get beaten over the head with a fire extinguisher before they believe him). All he wants to know is where Sally is - he soon finds out she's dead too.
Sally asks Simon to meet her, and he obeys. After a bit of a bizarre catch-up ('things have changed since you died', 'I can't turn invisible anymore'), they return to Simon's lair. It's soon clear Sally wants a piece of Simon - she explains that she had genuine feelings for him and, when she finds out about Simon's vision, insists that they must have to kiss before she can pass on.
Simon's conflicted - it's cheating on Alisha, after all - but Sally convinces him that it's the right thing to do and kisses him (this is the point where we see Simon's flashforward in the present time, by the way). Unfortunately for Simon, Sally's set up his phone to film everything - and promptly sends a clip to Alisha.
Obviously Alisha is furious when she sees it and confronts Simon, and though he tries to insist he didn't have sex with Sally, she doesn't really believe him. When she storms off, he chases after her - stopping only to hit poor Tony with a fire extinguisher again. But where did Alisha go?
Well, up on to the roof for a think. But she's not alone - Sally's there! She wants revenge for Tony's death - she wants Simon to know how it feels to lose everything and she wants him to know that Alisha died hating him. Soon they're grappling on the edge of the roof, but Tony arrives just in time to intervene.
He explains that the Misfits only killed him in self-defence, and insists that Sally's not there for revenge. Instead, they're there for each other. Sally lets Alisha go and kisses Tony and it's all lovely. Meanwhile, Simon tells Alisha that he kissed Sally but that's it - he couldn't go through with it because he loves Alisha so much. Adorable.
So Simon and Alisha go to have sex in the community centre (oo-er), but not everyone's so happy - after being sick, Rachel's feeling a lot of shame. What's more, she's done everything she didn't do when she was alive and she still hasn't moved on. But Rudy's there to comfort her (quite sweetly, really) and explains that it takes a while to work out why you've come back. After all, Sally thought she wanted revenge when really it was all about Tony.
Unfortunately, this little pick-me-up chat just puts the idea of revenge into Rachel's head. She grabs a knife and goes to confront the Misfits, explaining that she came back for revenge. Rudy tries to calm her down and get her to put the knife down, but post-coitus Simon and Alisha arrive at just the wrong moment, and Rachel turns and slashes Alisha's neck. Revenge well and truly got, she disappears into thin air.
It's difficult to overestimate what a shock this was - Alisha lies in Simon's arms bleeding out as the other Misfits stand stock still, devastated and shocked and in tears. Eventually, Alisha dies and it's so, so, so sad.
But Simon's not going to accept that (and the others agree it's not a good idea to use Curtis's power on her). Instead, Simon confirms that he was the guy in the mask - and now it's time for him to go back in time. He needs to get some new powers...
So Kelly goes to see Seth, who admits that he doesn't have Curtis's turn-back-time power any more. But he has just sold a similar power to someone else - only this one won't let you come back to the present.
Kelly tracks down the guy who has the power (he's a bit of a nerd, bless him, who wants to go back in time to become a pirate). She pretends she has a crush on him, before leading him straight to Seth and Simon.
So Simon can go back in time now, but there's something else - in the past he could touch Alisha. Seth reveals that the first power he sold was immunity to other abilities - in fact, he sold it to Simon ("I knew I recognised you!") It cost £10,000 - but Seth offers to lend Simon the money. After all, he's just about to get it back.
Then it's time to prepare for his journey, so the group bury Alisha - both Rudys show up at the funeral. Then Simon packs his backpack (including his Las Vegas photo), whips his hood up and the lights in his lair flicker off. It's a stunning sequence.
Then he promises the others he'll be back soon and returns to the past - the clouds flicker in the sky to show the passage of time. Winningly, he watches a first-series scene from the roof, which means we get to see Robert Sheehan as Nathan again (he didn't film an extra cameo, but it was a nice little treat for fans.)
It's straight into business, though - Simon opens up his lair and goes to see Seth to buy that immunity power. After being confused that Simon knows about him, Seth asks what he wants it for, and Simon replies brilliantly: "I'm going to make a girl fall in love with me." They take hands, and the music ramps up as the power transfers. It is brilliant, and then Simon walks out of the room, unzipping his hoodie on a slow motion mission (it is just wonderful).
Then we shoot back to the future, where Rudy's confused - are Simon and Alisha going to be stuck in a loop for eternity? He doesn't know whether to feel happy or sad (basically, he's speaking for the viewers).
Emo-Rudy worries that they're never going to see Simon and Alisha again, while Curtis doesn't know what to do next. Kelly thinks they should keep their heads down and live happily ever after. "Yeah," Rudy replies. "Well, I love a happy ending."
Oh my God! I just don't know how to begin processing that finale. What on Earth does it mean for a potential fourth series? Is that it for Simon and Alisha? How can we possibly leave it there, though? As well as delivering an episode packed with little treats for fans of the show, the Misfits finale genuinely changed things up in a big way. Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
- For such a big television star, Mark Heap was barely used in the show. Not saying that's a bad thing, it's just interesting. (I love Mark Heap.)
- "Why would there be a goat in the community centre?"
- "Now you're doing your starey thing."
- "There was a guy who controlled cheese and he was a f**king psycho."
- I always love Rudy, so him trying to smash into the vending machine was brilliant. "It's toughened glass! How desperate do they think people are to get a Twix?" Particularly enjoyed his I'll-pretend-I've-given-up-and-then-smash-when-you're-not-expecting-it trick, which was totally unsuccessful.
- I love that Cornettos have become a recurring thing on Misfits.
- "I'm sorry I killed you." What an apology.
- The way Alisha's eyes narrowed when Simon claimed he was talking to himself was immense.
- "Oh mate, even I know you're lying and I thought it were a goat."
- I was a bit unsure about whether Simon told the others he'd seen Sally again despite her instructions, because the next scene was them confronting Jonas. But when Jonas asked if Simon had seen Sally again, he said no. Confusing.
- "Spooky little f**ker. Scared the s**t out of me."
- It was so much fun to see Jessica Brown-Findlay back on Misfits as Rachel. Now that we know her as Lady Sybil in Downton Abbey, it was really odd seeing her getting sexy with Curtis and downing vodka. Great, but odd.
- "Usually they have some kind of unfinished business with the living, something they need to do to pass over into the spirit world. Some b*llocks like that."
- "The big news is there is no God." "Thank f**k for that."
- "Would you like to see my penis?" "OK! Yeah! F**k yes!" "Alright. We could maybe have a few drinks first..." Rudy's a bit sensitive really, bless him.
- Whereas Kelly is the model of subtlety. "You should have kept the desk... so we could shag on it." (Incidentally, this make-up was so sweet that I was convinced Seth was going to die later in the episode. Not sure what that says about me.)
- Rachel desperately trying to get Curtis to have sex with her when Tony turned up was rather funny. As was Rudy's unsuccessful attempt to take Curtis's place. To be honest, you'd have thought the zombies would have put them off having sex with dead people, but whatever.
- "She had a shocker of a day." Bit of an understatement to describe someone bitten by a zombie cheerleader and then battered to death with a baseball bat.
- I loved Alisha's "f**k you" speech to Tony. "We've done alright, considering." Yes they have! It was a nice moment - probably deliberately included to make what was to come all the more shocking.
- "It was a great speech and all that. Very moving. But he definitely should have f**ked that probation worker. Wasted opportunity, isn't it?"
- I've said it before and I'll say it again - Vince Pope's score for Misfits deserves every award going.
- "I did everything I thought I was supposed to do. I got drunk, I took drugs, I had sex and I've sworn like a c**t." Lady Sybil, really!
- Rudy leans in to kiss Rachel. "Oh, no, no, you smell of sick. No thank you. Oh, dear me."
- "You killed me, then you turned me into a nasty little slut like you." "Nothing wrong with us, mate. You're the one with sick down your top."
- "I was lying about shagging a pirate. Who would f**k a pirate?" "They get laid all the time!"
- It's a shame we didn't get to see the magnificent Craig Parkinson as Sean again. I love him.