12am - 1am
12.00am: Scott says email jokes can be funny but then they're shit when you try to tell them to someone out loud aftewards. He and Fed bounce up and down in the pool speaking in their Swedish accents.
12.02pm: Scott asks the others if they've seen American Pie 2; then recalls a scene from the film where two of the guys kiss.
12.03am: Scott says one of the actors, Seann William-Scott, is basically Stuffler, his American Pie character, in every film he does. Fed says he found Stiffler's mum attractive (and who doesn't?)
12.04am: Anouska wonders what the plural of pedalo would be; they agree it's probably pedali. Sound is cut as they continue chatting.
12.05pm: Your Emails
Chris Brannigan's in touch again to say he prefers the group inside chatting than the "beautiful people" frolicking in the pool "talking shite". He adds: "Channel 4 are heavily going against jon today. It's very annoying, he's the most interesting person in the house." Thanks Chris, what does everyone else think about the C4 editing? Is it biased?
Meanwhile Jim drops us an email to offer some explanations why Justine isn't in camera shot most of the time:
"(1) Justine is out of shot, but can be clearly heard muttering under her breath: 'If only jim were here. He'd treat me like the woman that I quite obviously am.'
(2) Justine looks wistfully into one of the camera-mirror-style-things, and mouths the phrase 'I love you jimbo.. thank you for starting my fan club. Only 50p to join and you get a badge and everything.'
(3) Justine cannot be seen at the moment, but her auroraroarara as top. Goddess shines in the near darkness, making everyone else look rather dim."
Sorry to break it to you Jim, but you may have some competition.. she's mine. Besides, you have the So Solid Crew to entertain you..
Thanks for the emails everyone; keep them coming!
12.11am: Back to the live action, where Nush seems to have left the pool. Scott says he likes tigers but wouldn't want one as a pet. Anouska says that cheetahs aren't natural hunters, adding that the bone density of leopards is more. Looks like Nush left her brain in the pool before she got out..
12.13am: Anouska continues, saying cheetahs sleep a lot because they have to conserve their energy for when they're running. This leads her on to think about runners, saying that Linford Christie has got "such a big package."
12.14am: Anouska reveals her and her sister used to watch the athletics just to "check out the packaging." In the background Scott and Fed debate the value of the record he attained.
12.18am: The guys move on to boxing chat; Anouska swims over to the side of the pool seeming a bit removed from the discussion.
12.20am: Scott asks what's happened to Naseem Hamed; Fed tells him he decided to retire. Ray wonders which boxer used to cry during the anthem.
12.22am: Ray says he met Frank Bruno at a local gym once and says he was huge, then does an impression which sounds more like Rocky. Anouska remains quiet in the corner of the pool.
12.23am: Anouska gets out of the pool, seemingly unnoticed, then wraps a towel around herself. Off to another ad break (if I see the Halifax ad again I'll scream)..
12.24am: Your Emails
Chris has dropped us a line again: "Can you ask Jimbo that if he successfully manages to win the heart of Justine can he get her to put a good word in with Sissy for me....cheers." Does anyone want to challenge Chris or is she his?
12.28am: We're back in the pool; the lads are still chatting boxing and Anouska's well gone. In the house everyone's higging Steph and singing happy birthday as it's past 12; the guys get out the pool and run indoors to give her a kiss.
12.29am: "Thankyou," she says, brushing her teeth. "You can go back in now," and they do. They decide they'll need to get out soon so they can go make the cake.
12.31am: In the boys' bedroom are Gos, Cam and Jon. "That little devil," says Cam in response to Gos telling him Scott has Snickers bars.
12.32am: Gos tells the guys they need to make sure they get fish out of the store room tomorrow if he's still asleep; they agree to still go ahead with their operation tomorrow. When Scott comes into the room Gos suggests they do operation fish tomorrow and leave the other one until later in the week when they have more toilet roll.
12.33am: Ray and Fed enter the room; all the guys are now present to discuss tactics. Cam calls them to order. They agree to do operation fish tomorrow and do the other one on thursday night so the girls wake up to it on Friday morning.
12.34am: Gos and Scott look through Fed's photos as he points out who the various people are. Sound is predictably cut intermittently. Jon takes off his glasses and prepares to go to sleep.
12.36am: BB reminds everyone to keepm their mics on as Scott leaves the room bidding goodnight to Cam and Jon. They ask Fed to pass on the message to the others not to make a noise when they come in.
12.37am: Cam says he's still excited, "like I'm going on a school trip." Fed puts on a white vest, yellow jacket and black trousers in preparation for the night shift.
12.39am: Scott's back in the room to do his hair; Cam asks him what he puts on it and he replies wax.
12.40am: Jon says he's not going to do any more washing this week because he'll be "fucked off" on Friday if he's evicted and could have put it in a machine.
12.41am: Scott and Fed leave the room, Fed turning out the lights as he leaves. E4 goes to an ad break..
12.42am: Your Emails
Chris B, who isn't pissing me off, emails in a few more missed updates from in the commercial breaks: "The group are singing Happy birthday to steph in the 'hey girl, it's your birthday' RnB style instead of the tradition... Anouska's in a towel and steph is brushing her teeth."
Meanwhile, Mike has dropped a line to say Sissy definitely isn't on his menu: "Chris can have her.. Scoucer = :eek: ...could gag her i guess.. I want Nush or Steph or maybe both! and yes together..." Anouska as dessert, anyone?
Thanks for your emails guys..
12.45am: On the pedalo are Nush and Justine. Nush talks about letting down guys who are interested in her but she doesn't fancy them; she thinks it's demoralising so she tries to do it gently. Justine agrees but there are some who are so persistent she has to tell them to fuck off.
12.47am: Justine says that once at a job she felt so uncomfortable with the skirt she was wearing she didn't get up to go to the toilet all day.
12.49am: Nush says she's brought legwarmers in with her even though she doesn't wear them. Justine borrows Nush's nailfiling/polishing box and gives them the once over.
12.50am: Nush says she's happy with everything she's worn in the house so far, but she'd normally wear lots of T-shirts. "I live in flip flops," she adds, then comments that she can't get any 60s clothing too fit her.
12.52am: Justine says the most she's ever spent on a piece of clothing is £150 on a pair of jeans from Harvey Nicks.
12.56am: The girls are still talking clothes; forgive me, I can't attempt to transcribe this as I'll only end up shaming myself.
12.57am: Your Emails
Time for one last email before my shift ends tonight; it's from Chris B again, who tells us how's he's planning to change Sissy when she becomes his: "Mike, I'd obviously teach her to speak properly....can't be having no girl of mine speaking scouse...She's got the best sense of fashion in their: green tops, red hair always works. Fed looks like he's off to a Stephen Gatley concert and scott looks like he's off to steal some hub caps...."
12.59am: That's it for me tonight. Thanks to everyone who's emailed in over the past couple of hours, it's appreciated. I now hand you over to Ali Moir, who'll be with you into the early hours.. night all!