10pm - 11pm
10.02pm: 'Reef is left over right, right over left', Tania says before wondering what the other two knots are; 'I haven't learned those two', Steph says as Tania states that she 'needs a coffee' and asks to see if there is any coffee left. 'If you start thinking about it, you forget how to do it', Gos tells the housemates as Justine does her make-up and hair as she sits on the floor of the girls bedroom, while Ray continues to teach Scott about a 'half-hitch' required for one of the knots as he ties it around one of the kitchen stools.
10.04pm: 'Do an S and a twirl, get the bottom of the S and stick it in the twirl', Sissy states as she teaches Cameron and Steph the 'S' knot; the sound is dipped as Ray teaches Scott another knot as he ties the rope around the stool again. 'Me and Sissy tried to do this knot and we completely lost track of what we were doing', Scott says as Ray tells him which of the ends of rope to keep slack; 'try and keep this end up', Ray says about the right end of the knot as Scott does it incorrectly. Ray teaches him again before mentioning that the loose end of rope goes 'under, not over'.
10.07pm: 'It helps if you hold the knot', Scott says as Tania is taught one of the knots by Steph; 'I've got the shank, the hitch...' Tania says as she and Sissy tell Gos that they've learnt four knots so far. Sissy states that she's going to learn one tomorrow before wondering where the lighter is, and Cameron mentions that he's tied one of the pieces of rope around himself, strangely, as Tania tells Cameron that she's 'alright'. 'Do I do the twirl under?', Tania asks Steph before telling her that 'you have so much patience'; 'you either get these or you don't', Steph says as she tells Tania that her knot is 'perfect'. Cameron states that he has to learn the whole lot as Steph looks at the instructions for the sheepshank knot.
10.09pm: Ray and Gos show Scott another of the knots; 'it has to go under, over, under, this goes all the way round and under everything', Ray says as Gos wonders 'why the f**k they do these rope things for?'. Scott states that the current knot 'is the most difficult one' as Gos tells Ray that he's 'got it'; Gos attempts the knot and gets it right, while Scott does it too. 'That's the bowline knot', Ray says as Gos mentions that they'll be prepared when they get their 'sailing ship'; Gos gets the knot wrong on the second time and Scott shows him where he's gone wrong.
10.12pm: Cameron is shown how to tie one of the knots - don't ask me which one, they all look the same to me - by Steph as Tania comments that it 'looks OK'; 'loop, loop, loop, loop', Steph says as she ties one of the knots and Tania tells her that she's 'really good'. 'Whether I'll remember it tomorrow is a different kettle of fish', Steph says as Cameron wonders whether his dad will be watching his son's expert knot-tying with pride; Tania does the knot Cameron has just done as Fed shows Nush another of the knots. 'What's it called?', Nush asks before the sound is dipped; shame the pictures can't be dipped now...
10.14pm: 'I don't know what it's called but you've done the right knot', Scott tells Nush before looking on the laminate to clarify that the knot is called the clovitch; 'it's actually called the double hitch', Scott says before teaching Nush the reef knot. 'Left, right, left, right', Scott says before telling Nush that 'I know them about as well as you do'; he refers to the reef knot as 'the easiest one' before Nush comments that she only did one and a half hitches for the previous one.
10.16pm: Steph mentions something about 'rabbit going around the tree' to help her remember the sheepshank knot, before she remembers and recites each of the Scout laws and statutes; 'be prepared', she says as she laughs with Scott mentioning that they'll remember the knots more and more with practice.
Is this account of less-than-expert knot-tying as boring to read as it is to write? E-mail firstname.lastname@example.org if you agree or disagree, or indeed if the John Motson of knot-tying is looking in and considers this the most exciting thing he's ever read.
10.22pm: 'Lay it over it', Nush tells Scott as they continue to tie knots before telling Scott to make a 'downey loop' and to put 'the rabbit around the tree and down the hole' which makes up a Bowline knot; 'around the tree and all that shit', Scott says - I'm glad someone agrees - while he mentions that he used a different system to remember the way to tie that particular knot; 'there's your noose', Nush says as Scott wonders whether that's how it works. 'I've never have any tendencies', Scott says before Nush asks if she can nick another rope; she takes Steph's before swapping partners to check that her knots are OK - she goes with Ray.
10.24pm: As Nush asks Ray if her hitches are OK for the double-half-semi hitch knot or whatever it's called, Justine and Sissy talk about the bowline knot with Sissy telling her to 'hold the tree up and put the rabbit down into this hole' as Justine comments that she hasn't got the hang of the knot yet. 'The rabbit goes up the tree, around the tree, then back into this hole', Ray says as Sissy asks Justine to make a smaller hole; Jon looks at the knot laminate as she continues to teach Tania one of the knots, while Gos wonders if the 'beans are catching up with' him.
10.27pm: 'Just pull that a bit more like so and you're there', Ray tells Sissy before teaching Justine the reef knot; 'perfect', Ray says before teaching her a round turn and two half-hitches and the bowline knot; Nush wonders whether she's learnt the full lot as Sissy lists the knots, while Fed clarifies the way to do the sheepshank knot and Sissy states that Ray showed her to do the 'S' knot. 'They do seem right in their little way', Steph observes as Fed mentions 'bring this round to the tight circle' as she looks at Sissy's knot; 'the S starts back to front', Fed clarifies as Justine goes to the diary room.
10.29pm: Sissy states that although they're doing the S knot back to front 'it's still the same knot' as Steph tells her that they can clarify the other knots tomorrow; she gives Fed her rope back after taking it off him before vowing to have some 'extra practice tomorrow'. 'We just need refreshing', Steph says as Sissy leaves her and she begins to tie the knots again; 'is this tight enough?', Fed asks as Scott shows him one of the knots. 'I can do the sheepshank', Scott says as Fed has a go at it, while Ray oversees the knots Justine ties.
10.31pm: 'There's two on the hitch, three without', Scott says to Ray, who presumably knows what he's talking about.
Sarah Murray confirms my suspicions from earlier: "It does seem very boring, poor you. You're doing a good job though, don't fall asleep now!" Anything longer than the 26 minutes I've got left and I would've had grave doubts about that, Sarah...
10.35pm: 'It looks quite smart', Steph says around one of the knots as Cameron runs through the 'rabbit' procedure to tie up the round twist knot with two half-hitches, while Fed ties another knot around the patio door pole as the sound gets dipped; Justine recalls the Scout laws with Tania as Cameron exhales and Steph comes to see if he's on the right lines with his knots. 'I promise to do my best to do my duty to God', Steph says before swearing after forgetting the rest, while Tania tells Steph 'you're very good considering you don't smoke'; now that's what I call praise... Cameron tells Gos that he's doing a sheep... shank at the moment as Steph continues to forget large parts of the Scout law.
10.39pm: At the dining table, Jon, Fed, Scott and Gos continue to tie their knots with the ropes they have, while Steph continues to try and recall the Scout laws and put one in particular in her brain by repeating it over and over again; 'I've gotta keep saying it because I'll forget it', she tells the others before coming unstuck again by forgetting a part of the law again. '... and to keep the Cub Scout law', Justine reminds her as Tania states that she's going to have a lie down as she 'can't cope'. 'I just like putting extra words in', Steph says as Justine comments that she can't even put an Ikea piece of furniture up, let alone a tent.
10.41pm: Cameron continues to jog Steph's memory regarding the Scout laws and mottos as the sound gets dupped, while Scott, Fed and Gos continue to tie their knots around the patio door pole; One of the housemates is in the diary room as Sissy wonders if she can make the Scout laws into a song to remember it easier. Ray presses the diary room buzzer as Sissy makes a fleeting visit there, while Justine and Steph still continue to recite the Scout laws and Tania does indeed have her lie down as Cameron laughs when Steph refers to the 'Scub Couts' instead of the Cub Scouts.
10.44pm: Justine recalls the Scout laws again after being prompted to do so by Steph, who is then told to recall them by Justine; Feed A, meanwhile, features the knot-tying guys again as Scott wonders whether they'll be told to do the knots or be shown diagrams of the knots and have to recall which knot is which. 'Anyone up for a dip?', Fed asks and Ray takes him up on his offer; 'can you do a sheepshank in your hand?', Ray jokes as Gos again speaks in his mock-foreign accent, while Fed goes to the bedroom briefly.
10.51pm: Nush talks to Tania in the bedroom as the latter states that she can't do the knots anymore as Nush states that she 'felt like a shit' and went into the diary room and sound off; 'I feel much better now and had a giggle in there', she states before commenting that BB told her 'you can dump on Big Brother whatever you want' as Tania mentions that she told Gos that going into the diary room helped her to get a few things off her chest. 'This is the maddest thing - I can see Gos and right into the kitchen and everything', Nush says and Tania and Sissy have a look; 'it was quite fun', she states as a load of the other housemates go into the bedroom to look in the camera run.
10.53pm: As Nush talks to Tania about plucking her eyebrows, Scott, Ray and Fed are in the pool as Steph and Justine recite the 'do my duty' line with Ray wondering what form the test on the Scout promises will take; 'will we have to salute for the law?', Justine asks as Steph mentions that she keeps mixing the two laws up. 'I keep taking parts of one with parts of the other', she says as Nush comes outside; 'those knots became a lot easier with practice', Scott says as Steph suggests that they all have a practice session tomorrow morning on the knots. Scott tries to recall the names of the knots and describes the methods of tying them...
10.55pm: while inside the house, Sissy giggles as Cameron puts his mike pouch back on; 'ask me some questions, Jon?', Sissy says and Jon indeed asks her some questions as Cameron asks Tania whether she's just come from the toilet. 'Does it stink in there?', Gos asks her as Jon tells Sissy to name the month the Scouts was founded; 'June', she says correctly as Gos tells Cameron that he'll go for a dip in the pool in a minute. Sissy wonders what the previous name of the Scouts was, and Jon reads the appropriate paragraph in the laminate.
10.58pm: As Sissy recalls the book where Baden Powell got his inspiration from, Tania laughs loudly as Ray states that 'she's trouble' before Nush says something inaudible about men before stating that she's been avoiding the diary room but she'll now use it much more after the chat she had in there earlier. 'I'm gonna go in there tonight', Ray says and Fed states that he'll do the same; while Justine attempts to recall the uniform identification things with Steph and Cameron attempts to tie his knots again around the pole.
Couple of e-mails to round things off; Scott McIlroy says 'stop your swearing, Scott' - hadn't noticed it much to be honest - while Sarah Murray reminds me to "take your scout laws book to bed with you!!" I'll be able to recite the content of every page Jon-style if this keeps up, Sarah...
Anyway, I'm now off to tie myself into an S-shape bowline knot with a round sheepshank turn and three reef half-hitches whilst reciting 'I promise to do my best to do my duty to God, the Queen and the Cub Scouts law', so Mark will keep you updated until midnight.