Luke blames new philosophy on virus

Luke apologised for a number of obscure philosophical statements this evening, blaming his odd behaviour on a virus.

Saddened by his descent into hell, he blasted the angels' party with a few meaningful phrases.

"We are the sponges," he informed the other devils. "We will be rinsed out."

When Bex asked what was wrong with him, he simply apologised, saying: "I've got a viral infection."

He described himself as a "defeated giant" before voicing concerns that he might have overdosed on Strepsils.

"Look at Hansel and Gretel," he said as he perked up again. "They had the gingerbread house but what happened after that? They ate the gingerbread house and then the witch tried to burn them."

As the group pondered this particular pearl of wisdom, Bex could be heard mumbling: "That nearly says Hanson" to herself, before worrying that she might catch Luke’s infection.

"I think you need to lay down," said Sara.