TV
DS Fantasies: Our Big Brother Allstars
Published Thursday, Jun 4 2009, 10:30 BST | By Alex Fletcher | 14 comments
Tonight at 9pm, Big Brother 10 kicks off on Channel 4 and we can no doubt expect to be introduced to the usual dozen or so nutcases, cross-dressers and bitchy backstabbers. However, as another series rolls around, the rumours continue to fly about a final farewell for the reality show in 2010 with a Big Brother Allstars series acting as the closing chapter. But who would you like to see come back for a second attempt at incarceration? DS has trawled the BB archives to pick out our own Allstars team.
The Hunky Male: Alex Sibley (BB3)
The former model and manic clean freak added the "phwoar" factor to the third series, helping to balance out the disturbing sight of Jade Goody's "kebab" with his dashing good looks. He proved to have a sense of humour to match his jawline (who can forgot his rendition of 'That's The Way I Like It' behind the bedroom door!) and well deserves a return to the Diary Room. Other Contenders: Dale & Stu (BB9), Spencer (BB3), Josh (BB2)
The Boring One: Gos (BB4)
Every year there is one contestant that slips through the producers' vetting process and spends their duration in the house boring us viewers to tears. Gos from BB4 was the King Of The Bores and spent most of his time in the compound belly-up on a beanbag. However, every house needs a dreary also-ran, if for no other reason than to bring calm while madness runs riots elsewhere. Other Contenders: Carole (BB8), Maysoon (BB9), Sam (BB6)
The Nutter: Shabaz Chauhdry (BB7)
We've had grown men with cuddly toys called Monkety Tunkety, belly-dancing blokes and real-life cookie-monsters enter the BB house. But even weirder than all of the above was unemployed Glaswegian Shabaz from the seventh series. On the verge of a mental breakdown, he hinted at suicide before being escorted out of the house on Day 6. He later confessed to understating his mental state to the show's producers. Other Contenders: Jonty (BB8), Kemal (BB6), Kat (BB9)
The Geezer: Victor Ebuwa (BB5)
The Slick Man Victor Ebuwa is without doubt the coolest contestant of all time to enter the BB house (and that includes the celebrity editions). With dozens of Diary Room catchphrases ("In Medieval times, I would have been called Sir Hump-a-lot", "they call me the Milkman because I always deliver") and a wicked way with a put-down ("Dan sits on more fences than Worzel Gummidge"), he has never been bettered. Other Contenders: Darnell (BB9), Science (BB6), Jonny (BB3)
The Air-Head: Helen Adams (BB2)
While Jade Goody's "East Angular" remarks are probably better known, it was hairdresser Helen Adams who really set the benchmark for moments of air-headed genius on the Channel 4 show. Her Helenisms and "I like blinking" statement stand out as truly great moments from when the show was a more innocent and unpredictable affair. Other Contenders: Caroline (BB1), Samanda (BB8), Rachel (BB9)
The Exhibitionist: Shell Jubin (BB5)
What would Big Brother be like without a whole load of nudity? Even in the first series, we got to see most of the housemates running around in the nuddie during a clay painting task. However, top of the streaker charts has to be Shell Jubin, who got the male population tuning in religiously during BB5 in the hope that they could catch her dashing around in the garden with only a lawnmower to cover her lady-bits. Other Contenders: Bex (BB9), Michelle (BB5), Nicola (BB1)
The Geek: Jon Tickle (BB4)
Big Brother always likes to throw us a curveball and its favourite method is gifting us some sort of geek or political intellectual every year. BB4's Jon Tickle is probably the best of the bunch, managing to enthrall us all with his physics knowledge and genius concepts such as a time-delay toaster. He was so successful that he became the first contestant voted back into the house by the public.Other Contenders: Eugene (BB6), Luke (BB9), Glyn (BB7)
The Villain: Nick Bateman (BB1)
Who knows if Big Brother would have been still going ten series down the line if it hadn't been for the game-playing and plotting of "Nasty" Nick Bateman. His lies and rule-breaking added an extra dimension to the first series and provided a blueprint for all future villains. Other contestants have been more vile and vocal, but for sheer gall and originality, Nick has to be the worst. Other Contenders: Grace Adams-Short (BB7), Charley (BB8), Alexandra (BB9)
The Nuts Girl: Chanelle Hayes (BB8)
Once people began to realise that by simply spending a couple of weeks in a house with a few weirdos they could earn a small media career, the show has been flooded by wannabe Nuts magazine models and glamour girls. Chanelle from BB8 insisted that she was not on the programme to simply showcase her boobs, but after several weeks enjoying an on-off romance with fellow housemate Ziggy and wandering around in tiny knickers, she left the house to begin a long career of... taking her clothes off and appearing in tabloids with footballers.
Other Contenders: Amy (BB8), Stephanie (BB9), Imogen (BB7)
Who would be in your BB Allstars house? Have we missed any of your favourites out? Voice your opinions in the slot below!
The former model and manic clean freak added the "phwoar" factor to the third series, helping to balance out the disturbing sight of Jade Goody's "kebab" with his dashing good looks. He proved to have a sense of humour to match his jawline (who can forgot his rendition of 'That's The Way I Like It' behind the bedroom door!) and well deserves a return to the Diary Room. Other Contenders: Dale & Stu (BB9), Spencer (BB3), Josh (BB2)
Every year there is one contestant that slips through the producers' vetting process and spends their duration in the house boring us viewers to tears. Gos from BB4 was the King Of The Bores and spent most of his time in the compound belly-up on a beanbag. However, every house needs a dreary also-ran, if for no other reason than to bring calm while madness runs riots elsewhere. Other Contenders: Carole (BB8), Maysoon (BB9), Sam (BB6)
We've had grown men with cuddly toys called Monkety Tunkety, belly-dancing blokes and real-life cookie-monsters enter the BB house. But even weirder than all of the above was unemployed Glaswegian Shabaz from the seventh series. On the verge of a mental breakdown, he hinted at suicide before being escorted out of the house on Day 6. He later confessed to understating his mental state to the show's producers. Other Contenders: Jonty (BB8), Kemal (BB6), Kat (BB9)
The Slick Man Victor Ebuwa is without doubt the coolest contestant of all time to enter the BB house (and that includes the celebrity editions). With dozens of Diary Room catchphrases ("In Medieval times, I would have been called Sir Hump-a-lot", "they call me the Milkman because I always deliver") and a wicked way with a put-down ("Dan sits on more fences than Worzel Gummidge"), he has never been bettered. Other Contenders: Darnell (BB9), Science (BB6), Jonny (BB3)
While Jade Goody's "East Angular" remarks are probably better known, it was hairdresser Helen Adams who really set the benchmark for moments of air-headed genius on the Channel 4 show. Her Helenisms and "I like blinking" statement stand out as truly great moments from when the show was a more innocent and unpredictable affair. Other Contenders: Caroline (BB1), Samanda (BB8), Rachel (BB9)
What would Big Brother be like without a whole load of nudity? Even in the first series, we got to see most of the housemates running around in the nuddie during a clay painting task. However, top of the streaker charts has to be Shell Jubin, who got the male population tuning in religiously during BB5 in the hope that they could catch her dashing around in the garden with only a lawnmower to cover her lady-bits. Other Contenders: Bex (BB9), Michelle (BB5), Nicola (BB1)
Big Brother always likes to throw us a curveball and its favourite method is gifting us some sort of geek or political intellectual every year. BB4's Jon Tickle is probably the best of the bunch, managing to enthrall us all with his physics knowledge and genius concepts such as a time-delay toaster. He was so successful that he became the first contestant voted back into the house by the public.Other Contenders: Eugene (BB6), Luke (BB9), Glyn (BB7)
Who knows if Big Brother would have been still going ten series down the line if it hadn't been for the game-playing and plotting of "Nasty" Nick Bateman. His lies and rule-breaking added an extra dimension to the first series and provided a blueprint for all future villains. Other contestants have been more vile and vocal, but for sheer gall and originality, Nick has to be the worst. Other Contenders: Grace Adams-Short (BB7), Charley (BB8), Alexandra (BB9)
Once people began to realise that by simply spending a couple of weeks in a house with a few weirdos they could earn a small media career, the show has been flooded by wannabe Nuts magazine models and glamour girls. Chanelle from BB8 insisted that she was not on the programme to simply showcase her boobs, but after several weeks enjoying an on-off romance with fellow housemate Ziggy and wandering around in tiny knickers, she left the house to begin a long career of... taking her clothes off and appearing in tabloids with footballers.
Other Contenders: Amy (BB8), Stephanie (BB9), Imogen (BB7)
Who would be in your BB Allstars house? Have we missed any of your favourites out? Voice your opinions in the slot below!
Your Views
14 Comments
Your Responses
Kate, Durham, on June 4th, 2009
Science! I cannot emphasise his legendary status in my eyes enought
Science! I cannot emphasise his legendary status in my eyes enought
Dejavue, on June 4th, 2009
You just know these types will appear tonight
You just know these types will appear tonight
Ken, Cumbria, on June 4th, 2009
The Allstars would be as follows: Anna(BB1) Nick(BB1) Brian(BB2) Helen(BB2) Jade(BB3) Kate(BB3) Nadia(BB5) Michelle(BB5) Dan(BB5) Jason(BB5) Derek(BB6) Anthony(BB6) Makosi(BB6) Pete(BB7) Nikki(BB7) Ashleyne(BB7) Charley(BB8) Dale(BB9) Stuart(BB9) FACT!
The Allstars would be as follows: Anna(BB1) Nick(BB1) Brian(BB2) Helen(BB2) Jade(BB3) Kate(BB3) Nadia(BB5) Michelle(BB5) Dan(BB5) Jason(BB5) Derek(BB6) Anthony(BB6) Makosi(BB6) Pete(BB7) Nikki(BB7) Ashleyne(BB7) Charley(BB8) Dale(BB9) Stuart(BB9) FACT!
Jo, on June 4th, 2009
How the hell can they put Jade in? Get a grip...
How the hell can they put Jade in? Get a grip...
Sharon, Suffolk, on June 4th, 2009
No Brian Dowling, no All Stars.
No Brian Dowling, no All Stars.
Dippy, Lancs, on June 4th, 2009
Shabaz in the list but no Brian Dowling? Does anyone on staff at DS actually watch the show?
Shabaz in the list but no Brian Dowling? Does anyone on staff at DS actually watch the show?
jaylady, W Midlands, on June 4th, 2009
I would love to see Alex from BB3 back again - he was amiable but funny without realising it.
I would love to see Alex from BB3 back again - he was amiable but funny without realising it.
Ivan Orfulcov Nizhny-Novgorod, on June 4th, 2009
Wot? No Aisleyne? You must be out of your tiny minds!!!! Know Yourself, Little Spy, tssssssss
Wot? No Aisleyne? You must be out of your tiny minds!!!! Know Yourself, Little Spy, tssssssss
bbfan, on June 4th, 2009
Nikki was the best BB housemate of all time!
Nikki was the best BB housemate of all time!
Jane Aberdeen, on June 4th, 2009
Nikki Grahame was the most entertaining housemate of all time.She deserves her place in the BB All Stars. Anyone who walked should not be allowed back.
Nikki Grahame was the most entertaining housemate of all time.She deserves her place in the BB All Stars. Anyone who walked should not be allowed back.
Anthony, London, on June 4th, 2009
NO JADE? I mean, if you're going on realistically, who you could have had in the house, then I understand that Jade is an obvious no-no. But come on DS, Jade made BB3 for so many reasons. She was the archetypal airhead and exhobisionist, and then in CBB she became the villain! PUT HER IN THERE!
NO JADE? I mean, if you're going on realistically, who you could have had in the house, then I understand that Jade is an obvious no-no. But come on DS, Jade made BB3 for so many reasons. She was the archetypal airhead and exhobisionist, and then in CBB she became the villain! PUT HER IN THERE!
danielle, scotland, on June 4th, 2009
stu was defo the hunkiest male of all time in BB!!
stu was defo the hunkiest male of all time in BB!!
Gavin, Ireland, on June 4th, 2009
Grace Adams-Short was the best villain in the history of Big Brother, and made Big Brother 7!
Grace Adams-Short was the best villain in the history of Big Brother, and made Big Brother 7!
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Not a bad list really. I'd definately have Victor, Alex, Nick and Helen in there. The rest are dispensable, although Shabaz was hilarious but I guess he wouldn't get back in.