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The art of self pleasure

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Warning: This article contains sexually explicit material which younger readers are advised to avoid.

The boys discussed masturbating in the house in a late-night chat yesterday.

Ray set the ball rolling by admitting he'd been walking round the house "checking out good spots" to do the deed.

He had decided that the best place would be in the toilet -- where there is only one camera -- but would only do it if the pressure got too much.

Fed warned him off using the toilet, however, saying that images of him pleasuring himself would be on the internet within hours.

He proposed that the shower should be used instead, because "getting a good lather going" coupled with steam would provide the perfect cover.

"You can't do it in the shower," laughed Cam. "Don't be so disgusting."

Unperturbed, Fed and Ray made a pact to relieve themselves in the house, and agreed to let each other know when they had done it. "You can't just say you've done it if you haven't though," said Fed, suggesting they provide evidence in a cup or sock.

Fed also regailed the lads with tales of his sexual exploits, although they believed next to none of it.

Gos asked if anyone had had a threesome before, and Fed revealed that he had, "only once."

Minutes later though he was telling the group about the "second time" he had done it, whilst in New York, but with a woman and another man, although pointed out that there was no interaction between him and the man. The details are too graphic to reproduce, even for DS:BB, but let's just say Fed and the fellow were in sync to the very end.

Fed went on to talk about a sexual experience he had with a woman "with thighs that could crack nuts." Only a youngster at the time, Fed explained that he met the woman and went back to her apartment where they got to it.

During intercourse, however, Fed was put off by the woman's "teacup chihauha" who kept jumping on top of him. Said woman lost interest in Fed and began playing with the dog whilst he "carried on digging tunnels like Richard Branson."

"It was a sign I was trying too hard," he said. The guys began to smell a rat when Fed explained that the teacup chihauha was a dog the size of a hamster.

Fed gave more indication that he was telling porkies when he added that he stayed at the woman's apartment for a few nights but began to smell, because although he showered, she didn't have any soap.

"She didn't believe in it," he told a hysterical Ray. "She was spiritual and all that."

So is Fed the stud he'd like us to believe he is? Will Ray or Fed be the first to crack under the pressure and go for a bash? DS:BB will keep you informed!

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