Richard and Jayne complain about poor men

Warning: This article contains language and/or sexual references that younger readers are advised to avoid.

Richard and Jayne are feeling hard done by when it comes to the availability of worthy men in the house.

Both starved of male attention, the pair complained about the low quality of what was on offer in the house last night.

"Big Brother's taste in men is appalling," he said. "I need to teach them about quality. Nine fucking weeks and I haven't had a kiss." He told Jayne that she was more of a man than most of the "boys" in the house, stating: "I wouldn't fill my grocery bag with any of them."

Angered by the situation, he took the problem to the married Susie. "We want to do some refunds on some of the men in this house. I mean, Susie has a husband to go to, but what do me and Jayne have?"

Susie called Mikey "lovely", "tidy" and "respectful", but did concede: "I would feel if I was here on my own and I wasn't married and I was a single woman, I would be disappointed. I would want a guy at least Richard's age, heterosexual."

Richard was less enamoured with Mikey, however, criticising the Liverpudlian's "chicken legs" and speculating: "He's not exactly going to do gymnastics in the bedroom is he?"

The only thing that Jayne questioned about Mikey was his mind, pondering whether "he [was] dealing with a full deck of cards". Although the group agreed that there was no problem there, Richard remarked: "Glen's dealing with a low pack though."