First Night Live: The celebs enter

7.55pm: Welcome to DS:BB's coverage on opening night of this year's Celebrity Big Brother. Stick with us over the coming hours as the eleven celebrities enter what - for some - will be their new abode for the next four weeks.

This year also marks the return of DS:BB's signature live updates service, providing regular updates from the house, 24/7. Click here for more.

8.00pm: Davina introduces this year's show, promising it will be bigger, better and tougher than ever before. Sound familiar?

8.03pm: Davina begins a tour of the house, starting with the living room - identical to that of BB7 - before moving on to the bedroom. Hey, there is one fewer bed than there are celebrities, meaning two will have to share a double. Deciding that the point needs further explanation, Davina has a lie on the double bed and pretends to wake up next to another celebrity. Genius.

8.05pm: "It's so hot it's steaming," says Davina as she shows us the celebrity hot tub. The seating area over the bridge to nowhere has been remodelled with heated, "soft and squidgy" seats, "so the celebrities don't get cold".

8.07pm: A new workout area has been installed just behind the kitchen. It's severely reduced from last year's series, with just basic equipment on tap.

8.08pm: Davina points out a silver slit on the wall in the living area. The latest in viewer-show interaction will see viewers sending in questions then Big Brother depositing a select few through the slit for the celebs to answer. Again, genius.

8.13pm: Enough messing around now, it's time to get in those celebs. First up is Jermaine Jackson, brother of Michael and one of the Jackson 5. He's a germ-freak, apparently, who refuses to open doors with his bare hands. "[My family] are probably going to go online to see the show," he says. Well then hello, Jacksons!

8.17pm: Davina gets a bit excited at the thought that Michael Jackson may be watching her. The crowd begins chanting for Jermaine to "moonwalk" after Davina suggests he do so, but apparently MJ never taught him to.

8.18pm: Jermaine looks slightly distraught - nay, entirely unimpressed - when he enters the house. "It's cute," he concedes unconvincingly after a bit of pacing around. But Davina disagrees, claiming: "I think he likes it."

8.20pm: Celeb number two is Danielle Lloyd, a former Miss Great Britain who was stripped of her title after she was discovered to be dating judge Teddy Sheringham. After a video introduction that sees her discussing being a WAG and getting her assets out for Playboy, boos greet Danielle's entrance down the red carpet.

8.22pm: "I'm all wet," she tells Davina as she joins her on stage (it's raining in Elstree). Teddy is "a little bit surprised" but "proud" of her decision to come in the house, she reveals. Again Davina gets excited at the thought that Teddy may be watching back home.

8.24pm: Nervously Danielle enters the house and greets Jermaine. A very serene welcome sees Jermaine failing to mention his name.

8.25pm: Next is 79-year-old film director Ken Russell, who delights in telling us that he's won three Baftas. "I'm fascinated by the programme," he says. "It is a very strange to put people in. Some people say it's like going to paradise, others hell."

8.27pm: "I'm singing in the rain," he sings top voice as he staggers and quivers his way down the red carpet. Fearing a second verse, Davina comes out to collect him and drag him up on stage. Mentioning "Mad Pete" from BB7 gets him a few cheers.

8.29pm: "Steady on," says Davina as she attempts to drag an increasingly bobbing Ken up the stairs to the house. "Please excuse Ken's language," she adds. Don't apologise, Davina, we 'eard nothing.

8.30pm: Davina actually takes Ken all the way down the stairs and up to the front door. "I got a welcome committee," he announces as he enters the house. "No-one knows me," he says before acknowledging his two housemates. He adds that he is an "old English filmmaker". Oh dear, Danielle is still getting boos outside.

8.37pm: "I loved being in that band," says housemate four, former S Clubber Jo O'Meara. She cites hearing 'Bring It All Back' played on EastEnders as the height of her success. It "all went horrifically wrong" after she released her first solo single, so much so that she is now "into breeding dogs". "I'm just scatty old Jo," she adds, giving perhaps our first signal of a potential winner.

8.39pm: Cheers blanket her entrance down the carpet and up to meet Davina, who promtly begins quoting S Club lyrics. "I have absolutely no idea," Jo replies when asked why she's doing it, but Davina thinks better of it. "Are you going to bring out a single after you've done this?" she enquires. Jo doesn't know.

8.41pm: "Ooooh," she mutters nervously as she enters the house then greets Danielle, Jermaine (who introduces himself this time) and Ken. "It's quite small isn't it?"

8.42pm: "Hi, I'm Leo Sayer."

8.43pm: Shots of Leo bounding along the beach singing some of his most memorable hits. According to my notes, he is married. Impressions of Anne from Little Britain follow, complemented by his new catchphrase: "Let's make it a Leo Sayer, all dayer."

8.44pm: Leo says he now lives in Sydney - evidenced by his Aussie twang - and is doing BB in order to spend a bit of time in the UK. After walking the wrong way off stage, he's on track for the house.

8.45pm: Jermaine begins to clap as Leo enters, clearly recognising someone for the first time all night. "My dear boy," says Leo to Ken while Jo continues to moan about being nervous. "I don't know who you are," Ken admits but then, after hearing his name, clarifies: "Oh I do know who you are."

8.48pm: "Not everyone can have a beautiful bathroom," says a woman as she helps advertise the bath store. What's that? I can stop during the breaks? Now you tell me.

8.52pm: Shilpa Shetty is our sixth entrant. She's huge in India, but less so here. "They've recently touted me as the Indian Angelina Jolie but I don't know how to react to that. It's cool," she clarifies. She goes on to say that she is "synonymous with glamour" and admits that she "constantly travels with an entourage".

8.54pm: The suitably uppity intro piece guarantees her a decent smattering of boos as she poses for the paps at the foot of the red carpet. She's wearing some kind of dress but that's all the fashion commentary you'll get out of me.

8.55pm: Once again Davina comes to the rescue to help Shilpa and the dress up onto the stage. "God's been really kind," she says of her coming on the show.

8.56pm: Collective bemusement as Shilpa enters the room. "Hello, thankyou," is Ken's strange greeting. "Danielle looks like a little lost puppy," comments Davina of proceedings, prompting one crowd-goer to shout "yes!" ecstatically.

8.58pm: Carole Malone, Mirror columnist and - for those daytime nostalgics amongst you - presenter of Guilty, is next. She hates most personality types and Lindsay Lohan, who is, simply, "a waste of space". Boos dominate her jaunt down the red carpet.

9.00pm: Davina reminds Carole of her comments that previous celeb BB contestants are a "bunch of morons". "Well, here I am," she replies. "Do you think other journalists will be as tough on you in there?" asks Davina. Hell, are you kidding?

9.01pm: "I am so frightened I can't tell you," says Carole as she enters the house. "You look divine," she tells Shilpa as she meets the sea of familiar and unfamiliar faces.

9.02pm: Next up is Donny Tourette, the closest girls will get to male eye-candy this season. "I've got a few dirty habits," he admits, before demonstrating how he uses the toilet and alerting everyone to his excess phlegm problem.

9.04pm: A hostile reaction to an initially cheering crowd from Donny. He's flicking Vs, making masturbatory hand gestures and bellowing back at the paps as the crowd chants "Who are yer?"

9.05pm: Davina tries to pull him away from the madness but he's having none of it, instead yanking her around like a rag doll with a microphone. She's in no mood for chatter after that and sends him packing right on into the house.

9.06pm: Big cheers from the housemates as he enters the house. "F**king dickheads," he says of the crowd before greeting old buddy Leo Sayer.

9.07pm: Davina really isn't happy with Donny. "He really did smell like a brewery," she tells viewers as we head for another ad break.

9.12pm: "The 'dress' is called a sari ignorant fool," an emailer kindly informs me. But enough of that, it's H from Steps!

9.13pm: "It wasn't meant to be cool," he says of the band. "We were laughing with it."

9.14pm: H isn't taking his time on the red carpet. He wants to get in that house. "How mad is this?" he asks Davina, who informs him it's "very mad". She attempts to get him to sum up his feelings in the form of a Steps song but it flops. "I'm very proud of who I am," he says of his coming out in The Sun today. Like us, he fears "crotch shots".

9.16pm: H is overjoyed to see Jo, while in the background Donny has lit up his first cigarette. Next in it's Cleo Rocos, former sidekick on the Kenny Everett Show. She likes doing character acting, so much so that she often does it as part of her day-to-day life. "I really am nauseatingly happy," she announces, in what could be interpreted as a blatant challenge to BB producers.

9.19pm: Cleo has paid more attention to the crowd than any other, shaking more hands than Jerry Springer on her walk up the carpet. She's into "oiled" blokes apparently - that's Old, Ill and Loaded. Hey, she's nice and funny.

9.21pm: "You're a surprise," says Carole, pointing at Cleo as she enters. Time for the final housemate now...

9.22pm: It's Dirk Benedict! You know, Templeton 'The Face' Peck from The A Team. "Women did throw themselves at me," he says, "and I got very adept at catching." He's dreading "confrontational" people in the house but has a cunning plan. "I'll just run away and find a corner."

9.24pm: Coolest. Entrance. Ever. Dirk rocks up in a big black van to the theme tune of The A Team!

9.25pm: "I'm offering myself up as sacrifice for the good of The A Team," he tells Davina of his decision to enter the house. He's single but apparently has his eye on the girl in the third row. Take me instead, Dirk!

9.26pm: "I love it when a plan comes together," quips Davina as Dirk disappears into the house, smoking his cigar. A collective awe overcomes the youngsters of the group. Danielle makes an immediate impression with him.

9.28pm: Davina announces the first twist - a celebrity family will move in on Friday (meet the Goodys, anyone?) and will immediately set about "adopting" one of the celebrities. Thus the launch show comes to a close.

... and likewise for us, but do stick with us for full continuing coverage of the first night in the house!