Charlie Sheen: The greatest Big Brother contestant ever?

What a way to start the week in reality TV land. The Daily Star may not always be the most reliable source when it comes to Big Brother news (Cheryl Cole to host anyone?), but the fact that they've splashed with Charlie Sheen going in Celebrity Big Brother on their front page today had us hopping around the office with excitement this morning. If it turns out there's been a mix-up and boob-shaking water-feature expert Charlie Dimmock is going in, we will not be amused.

If Channel 5 has really done the unthinkable and snared 'Tiger Blood' Sheen, then we're all going to be "winning" this autumn. Big Brother's greatest skill is getting under the skin of housemates and exposing even the most colourful characters, and right now, there's nobody else in the world of showbizdom with quite the aura and mystique of Sheen. In fact, Reality Bites believes that Charlie Sheen could be one of the greatest housemates of all time.

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The Opening Night
As Big Brother purists, there are not many parts of Celebrity Big Brother we prefer over the traditional non-showbiz version. However, there is one thing that Celeb BB always does better than the original incarnation: Launch night. Whether it's Maggot from Goldie Lookin' Chain explaining what he does to George Galloway or H from Steps exchanging pleasantries around the pool with Ken Russell, they are magical and surreal telly moments. How could the meeting of minds that was Stephen Baldwin and Alex Reid be bettered? Only with Charlie Sheen making small talk with Abs from 5ive or sharing a drink with the Cheeky Girls.

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Two and a Half Jedwards
Charlie Sheen may have been booted off Two and a Half Men for being a bit vocal in his criticisms and some of his wilder behaviour proving distasteful to the US networks. But maybe all is not lost for Sheen. If the rumours are true and X Factor terrible twosome Jedward are also off into the famous compound, we smell a collaboration. They've sold insurance, done Eurovision, promoted Shake 'N' Vac - the next logical step is a Jedward sitcom with Charlie playing their long-lost uncle.

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Goddesses
Charlie's love for female companionship is well known. He dubbed his female housemates - ex-porn star Olson and Natalie 'Natty' Kenly - goddesses earlier this year, so what would he make of the female Celeb BB contestants? Would Bella Emberg and Debbie McGee be at his beck and call? Would Su Pollard and one of the quiet ones from All Saints be woo-ed by Sheen? Channel 5, Endemol and Richard Desmond - you can make this happen.

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Tiger Blood Entrance
We had Dirk Benedict turn up in the A-Team van and we've seen Sisqo serenade us with the 'Thong Song'. Could anyone top those classic Big Brother moments? We reckon Charlie would. There's two options. Either he could go for the conventional walk-in (cigar in hand, Goddesses either side, Two and a Half Men theme tune) or he could do the Reality Bites preferred method and stroll down the walkway in full-on Lt. Sean 'Topper' Harley costume with the Hot Shots soundtrack switched up to 11.

Do you think Charlie Sheen would make a great Celebrity Big Brother housemate? Share your views below